1.30.2008

There's a new girl in town!


We have a new neighbor! My mother and husband both told me about her a few weeks ago, but I finally caught a glimpse of her moving in today. She's not even unpacked and already she's the talk of our neighborhood. Why? Because she's a hot babe!

That's right, a piece of eye candy just moved in right across the street from me. My new neighbor is a single, blonde bombshell in tight jeans. How wonderful.

The funny thing is that most of us found out about her from our husbands. They all had the same funny tone in their voices when they told us, "WE HAVE A NEW NEIGHBOR." (As they attempted to sound nonchalant) Every single one of us picked up on the tone immediately and every single one of us knew instantaneously to ask, "What does she look like?" Let's just call it women's intuition.

I've heard this tone before from my husband, and I can always tell when a new hottie has come into his universe. When he mentions, "There's a new girl as work." I hear the tone and HAVE to ask. Oh yeah, what does she look like? "Well, Jay thinks she's good looking, but she's not my type." Yeah right.

I totally trust him, but I get such a kick out of it when he tries to pretend he's not looking. One time he told me, "She's not my type, she's too perfect!" Thanks alot buddy. Glad you like your women flawed.

A friend of mine's husband is a photographer and he works with models all the time. My friend was feeling insecure one day and she started whining to her husband. (This girl is a TOTAL Fran Drescher type) "You see perfect women all the time, I'm getting old. I know you want to be with a model!" (I'm sure hearing her whine really helped matters.) Since he's a nice guy he tried to appease her. "Don't worry honey, I couldn't get a model!" HA! Nice try.

The bottom line is, our new neighbor has added a little excitement to our quiet little street. In more than one sense of the word! I'm sure she's a nice woman and tomorrow I'll bring her some cookies (to fatten her up) and introduce myself.

But let me tell you sista, if she comes over and asks my husband to help her kill a spider or unclog a pipe she's gonna have to deal with the business end of my tennis racquet! 'Nuff said.


27 comments:

LunaNik said...

'I'll bring her some cookies (to fatten her up)..." hehehehe...I almost fell off my chair on that one! Make sure you use a mixture of lard AND butter when you make them.

Oh, and you have to get a picture of her to post on your blog. Then, you could have a contest on who can photoshop her into the ugliest looking gal...it'll be fun!!!!

Kate said...

Fix her up!

Somewhere Between Pinot and Pacifiers said...

This is very Wisteria Lane-ish. Keep us updated!!!

Polly said...

LOL - I"m thinking Ann Margaret in Grumpy Old Men.

Rachel said...

I make a fantabulous tasting but really fattening homemade Italian Cream Cake, need me to fed-ex you one?
Can't wait to hear what happens with the new chickie :-)
We're in need of new neighbors, but not one of those!!
Good luck!

boopsie said...

See if you had bought that cute house for you Mom and Dad this wouldn't have happened !!

linda said...

oh no! I am picturing many amusing posts on this subject in the future....

Belle in Bloom said...

That's hysterical. PLEASE keep us updated! And "too perfect"? He obviously is living with perfection. ;)

Amy said...

Oh yes, I can't wait to hear more! Unfortunately I'm the new, young neighbor on our street. And my husband travels so I sometimes need someone to help with plumbing emergencies or killer spiders. Luckily I have a great relationship with all the ladies and none of them play tennis ;)

Melissa said...

Too funny! I'm glad you have a good attitude about the whole thing! I think some women would get all jealous and freak out!

OHmommy said...

Bring her some cookies made with REAL butter and REAL sugar, not splenda.

Ah, but those women... they never give in to eating. Yes?

magnolia mama said...

Hilarious! I love the cookie idea!

suchsimplepleasures said...

that's my girl...lay down the law...

Tickled Pink & Green said...

Oh noooo, Edie has moved in - that is hilarious. I wonder what she does for a living? Let us know if lots of expensive cars drive in and out all during the day - hee hee.

Momo Fali said...

My husband tries to sell me that, "She's not my type" thing all the time. Unfortunately for him, I knew him in college and "his type" was ANYONE with boobs.

david mcmahon said...

Nice work - again! Just give her the url of this post if she gets a bit uppity!!

WSU Laura said...

You are hilarious! I love how your mind works, very devious in a nice neighbor way. "Fatten her up with welcome cookies" indeed. Can't wait for more details on "Evie".

Maria said...

Keep 'er [and him!] in check!! *lol*

Candace said...

keep the updates coming on this one!

Ashley said...

lol! Men always know what to say. Tonight I asked my husband why he and my friend did something similar...his reply? "Because we're the beautiful people." Right. And what am I?

But, about that neighbor...I say lots of cookies. :)

david mcmahon said...

PS: I've just added you to my blogroll. I hope that's OK with you.

smartmom said...

Be Nice...

Feener said...

i thought i commented on this ???

i was saying that you need to find out which beach club she will be in, b/c that is where i will really want to avoid her !!!

Avery Gray said...

The slut!

;o)

Stacey said...

Tennis raquet! I love it! LOL!

Blog Hopping! Happy Friday!
"Margarita Mom"

Johnina said...

LOL...That hilarious! Befriend her so you cook for her more often. Then tell her how broke you are, then she'll at least think he has no money.

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

As if she could be cuter than you? No freaking way.

Smooches.

 
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