There's a new girl in town!

We have a new neighbor! My mother and husband both told me about her a few weeks ago, but I finally caught a glimpse of her moving in today. She's not even unpacked and already she's the talk of our neighborhood. Why? Because she's a hot babe!

That's right, a piece of eye candy just moved in right across the street from me. My new neighbor is a single, blonde bombshell in tight jeans. How wonderful.

The funny thing is that most of us found out about her from our husbands. They all had the same funny tone in their voices when they told us, "WE HAVE A NEW NEIGHBOR." (As they attempted to sound nonchalant) Every single one of us picked up on the tone immediately and every single one of us knew instantaneously to ask, "What does she look like?" Let's just call it women's intuition.

I've heard this tone before from my husband, and I can always tell when a new hottie has come into his universe. When he mentions, "There's a new girl as work." I hear the tone and HAVE to ask. Oh yeah, what does she look like? "Well, Jay thinks she's good looking, but she's not my type." Yeah right.

I totally trust him, but I get such a kick out of it when he tries to pretend he's not looking. One time he told me, "She's not my type, she's too perfect!" Thanks alot buddy. Glad you like your women flawed.

A friend of mine's husband is a photographer and he works with models all the time. My friend was feeling insecure one day and she started whining to her husband. (This girl is a TOTAL Fran Drescher type) "You see perfect women all the time, I'm getting old. I know you want to be with a model!" (I'm sure hearing her whine really helped matters.) Since he's a nice guy he tried to appease her. "Don't worry honey, I couldn't get a model!" HA! Nice try.

The bottom line is, our new neighbor has added a little excitement to our quiet little street. In more than one sense of the word! I'm sure she's a nice woman and tomorrow I'll bring her some cookies (to fatten her up) and introduce myself.

But let me tell you sista, if she comes over and asks my husband to help her kill a spider or unclog a pipe she's gonna have to deal with the business end of my tennis racquet! 'Nuff said.