Hey Hey Hey!!

Checking in from sunny FLOOORIDA! I'll give you a brief lowdown.

7 PM flight from Newark to Orlando Friday night postponed until 10:30.

Rough flight. Lots of turbulence and a very windy, shaky landing in Orlando. But we made it.

Woo hoo!!

So far we've hit Gatorland, The Magic Kingdom and hit tennis balls with a pro.

We return on Wednesday, and guess what we will fly into???

You've got it.

Another snowstorm.

Never a dull moment.

Snow, Snow, GO AWAY!!!

We are heading to Florida on Friday, so I have also been busy packing, making arrangements for the dogs and primping myself.

Now, thanks to the snow storm forecast for the East Coast, I have been checking the weather forecast every 15 minutes in addition to all my other responsibilities. I've been attempting to channel my inner Buddhist and chill. Whatever will be will be.

(BUT IF I'M STUCK IN SNOWY JERSEY WHEN I SHOULD BE PLAYING TENNIS IN 70 DEGREE WEATHER, I'LL BE ONE CRANKY MOTHER.)

So, I'm preparing as if I'm departing tomorrow.

Yesterday I had my first pedicure in over 4 months. The poor girl spent about an hour scraping my heels. The sweat was dripping down her head while I sat on my massaging chair pompously reading an US Magazine. I tipped her very generously for taking on that very unpleasant task.

Tomorrow morning, I get my first spray tan in a long, long, time. I gave it up a few months ago after my sisters had a "spray tan intervention" and told me I looked orange.

I'm going to a new place where all the ladies "in the know" tell me I will be transformed from pasty white pale face to hot bronzed goddess, all for the low, low, price of $39.

After I get hot looking I will load up the minivan with golf clubs, tennis rackets and suitcases, pick up the girls from school and cruise on up the turnpike to the Newark International Airport, where, God willing, our Jet Blue flight will depart at 7 PM sharp.

Pray for us...and I'll catch y'all next week.

Some very good news...

I am pleased to announce that I am starting to grow tired of my Facebook Farm. All that tedious clicking is starting to bring me down...

Much to my husband's delight, I have discovered a new tedious hobby....scrubbing my bathroom tiles with Tilex and a toothbrush.

Yes, you read that correctly. I am actually INTO doing this strange task.

We have various shades of white tile in all our bathrooms and this new hobby is bringing me great satisfaction. It's amazing how clean it gets when you get on your hands and knees and SCRUB until your arms hurt. Good times my friends.

Before you get all excited and try this at your house, make sure you ventilate the room. I think one of the reasons I'm starting to enjoy this is due to the brain damage I sustained when I did our master bath with all the windows shut. I haven't felt that disoriented since my last Grateful Dead concert.

There is nothing better than a good hallucination to make housework fun.

Gotta run. There's a can of stainless steel cleaner in the kitchen, just BEGGING to be inhaled.

Makin' Bacon...

Since I confessing some of my sins lately, I'll tell you something about myself that has always bothered me. I've always been terrible at...MAKING MONEY.

I have never made alot of money. Everything I've ever been interested in pays squat.

I'm good at alot of things. I play a very nice game of tennis, but I'll never be a tennis pro. I'm kind to and love animals, but there is no way I'll become a vet. When I set my mind to it, I'm a pretty good writer. The world is full of good writers, how many of them publish a best selling novel?

My kids' friends always want to come to MY house for play dates, because it's relaxed and fun over at my pad, but I don't charge them admission to my fun house.

I'm a loyal friend and generally a good, law abiding citizen. Neither of which pays me a dime.

In my working days, I was employed in the entertainment industry (no, I wasn't a stripper), and for the American Red Cross. I've never had any interest in law, banking, trading stocks, or business in general. I've always loathed working in an office and have avoided it at all costs. This aversion to office buildings and suits has probably contributed to my lack of marketable money making skills.

In some ways my pitiful earning power has made me feel bad about myself.

I would love to be really good at something that pays the big bucks.

I know everyone will tell you that life isn't about how much money you make, but let's face it, money brings some pretty good things, like a roof over your head, a college education for your kids, vacations to the Caribbean and pretty Frye Boots. It also brings something else with it.

RESPECT.

I am totally and completely financially dependent on my husband, and I know that isn't a good thing.

The question is...am I going to do something about it?

I can't answer that right now. I'm 44 years old, with a 6 year old and a 10 year old. I haven't had a job outside the house in over 10 years. I like staying home and taking care of them.

But I feel vulnerable. I AM vulnerable.

What's a woman to do???

Green Acres AKA My Dirty Little Secret...

You may or may not have noticed my absence on Twitter and on your blogs. If you have, I apologize for being so anti-cyber social.

Let's just say, I've been a little busy. The time I used to spend writing funny little comments and reading other people's stories is now spent harvesting crops, collecting eggs and collecting tractors.

I have a "little problem."

























You do have to admit, I have a mighty fine looking farm.









I've missed you all so much, and I'll be back. Just as soon as I reach Level 70.

Now watch the video. It really captures the essence of the Farmville craze.

To Hell With Caffeine! Pass the Nutella!!

My little sister traveled to Italy recently and she told me that the Italians eat Nutella on EVERYTHING. I figure the Italians know their food, so today, I purchased my first jar of Nutella.

OH. MY. GOD

Gusti cosi buona!!

Coincidentally, February 5th is World Nutella Day.

In honor of this exciting celebration of this chocolaty, hazelnutty, delicious treat, I'm "SPREADING" the word that this stuff rocks!!

So take it from me, go get yourself some NUTELLA, spread it on a warm croissant, dip a strawberry in it, or do like I do and take a big old spoonful. Who cares if you have rotted teeth and a butt the size of Texas? It's totally worth it.

As usual, this is not a paid endorsement. I never make any money off this damn blog.

I have to admit...

I'm not feeling witty. I'm not feeling interesting. I've got nothing to talk about.

But that's never stopped me from writing a blog post before, so here goes!!!

Today is my "cleaning day" which means I'll talk on the phone alot, because the only way I can pass the time happily is to gossip while I scrub. If you have my phone number and want to chat, I'll be home all day.

Yesterday I had one and a half root canals and wrote a check to my dentist for $1,400. I'm a tooth grinder. My dentist told me that cracked teeth and stress fractures are an epidemic these days, which I guess means the lousy economy is working out pretty well for the dentists of America.

Next Friday we head to Orlando for five days to stay with my parents. We still haven't decided which Disney venue to hit. I'm thinking we might head to one of the theme parks on Superbowl Sunday. What do you think? We could care less about the Superbowl this year. None of my favorite teams made it to the big day, so maybe we can avoid some lines.

Now for some tennis...how about that Australian Open? LOVE IT!!! The only drawback? Sooo distracting for me!!! The highlight for me is the return of Justine Henin. I love short little players. They give me hope.

That's what's going on here in Jersey.

Pray something interesting happens to me today.

My blogging well is running dry.