Have you ever noticed that there are some people who always round up a posse-no matter what they do? If they go out to dinner on a Saturday night, they go with 3 other couples. If they have to stuff envelopes for a PTA mailing, they organize 20 other ladies to join them. Vacation? Let's rent a house with 2 other families!!! The MORE the merrier! A trip to Costco? I'll call Suzy to join me! (Need more examples? Don't worry, I'll stop!) Anyway...
I envy these people. In my younger days I had a big group of friends. We would "hang out" all the time. Beach houses, ski houses, parties. It was so much fun.
Now, at the ripe old age of 42 I've become a bit of a "lone wolf" (I'm kind of like the Fonz of suburbia.) When Brad and I go to dinner or a movie, I like throwing on a pair of jeans and just winging it. On vacation, unless I go with family I'd rather keep it just the four of us.
My daughters have very active social lives and, of course, I'm always along for the ride. Pick ups, drop offs, sleepovers, playdates, I love that they have lots of friends.
I'm torn on the big group dynamic thing. I worry that I don't do it because I don't want to compromise on what I want to do, or because I'm just plain lazy!!
Whenever I go to a party I always have a great time...I just don't seek out every opportunity to have a play group, ladies night out, or Sunday afternoon football party. I like to travel light, keep my options open, no ties, no commitments, no obligations, I'm a selfish, solitary, loner. (Whoa, I got a little carried away there!)
How about you? Social butterfly? Or LONE WOLF?
27 comments:
when i was married to my ex husband...i had to do everything in packs. i think it was because, i didn't want to be seen alone with him! but, once i got divorced, i realized, i don't mind being alone...with my kids. sure, friends came over to hang out with their kids but, i stopped traveling in packs. and now, i'm good just talking on the phone to friends. i love going out, just with hubby...whenever we can locate our babysitter...and, i'm really a much happier person, this way!!!
i like this post.
i would have to say both hubby and i are more the lone wolf type. we love going out with other people and we are both very social once we are out and about. however, we are not the type to always do things with others. i have friends who are ALWAYS doing things in packs, it makes me feel like - don't you ever just want some alone time !!
I'm totally a lone wolf. Even years ago when I would go out alot with friends, I would always end up "seperating from the pack" for a while. There's something to be said for having the guts to go it alone.
Guess what these groupies never change. It's the same way here in "Retirement World" Seniors traveling in "packs" there is "strength in numbers!" Dad and I prefer to be "weak"
That is such a great post and something I often think about. There are a few ladies around here that run their errands together...grocery store, costco, returns, target, whatever. They make me wonder if there is something wrong with me because that seems like chinese torture. I am a social person but know that errand running is bad enough but with a friend and on her schedule is even worse.
I have convinced myself that I am still very selfish of my alone time because with a little one still mostly at home it is a rarity. Works for me...
This is an excellent post!
With my ex we had to do everything in packs . . .even on a romantic night out 'aone' he had to invite two other couples he had just met at the gas station eariler that day - seriously.
I prefer doing things on my own terms now, and if my friends and I synch up, it's even better, but I certainly don't go out of my way anymore to satisfy the "herd" mentality!
I thought I was the only person like this. I used to be such an extrovert and a party animal but now I'm more reclusive. I like quiet evenings with just my husband and children. I don't like to shop with people. And I definitely don't want anyone joining us on vacation.
I like to do my running around by myself including shopping! But we are always having people over, and if we are heading out for the night the more the merrier!
Lone wolf, all the way. I can't handle having to do things on other people's schedules. It's hard enough getting all my crap done on my own with two small kids. I couldn't imagine trying to work in the snacks/naps/potty trips etc of someone else's family! When it comes to more social events, I actually wish I was more of a social butterfly. But, I've come to accept that I'm an introvert, and it's not so easy for me to make plans with others.
Lone wolf. I love parties and get-togethers, but when it comes to shopping, etc, I'd much rather just go by myself or with K. I love my friends, but I've always been this way!
All shopping and errands by myself. I have a schedule to keep and it is not other peoples.
I go out alot. But I prefer couples and not huge packs of people.
I couldn't imagine anything worse than running errands with someone. (other than my mom) As for going out, I am more lone wolf and hubby is more social butterfly. I find that the older I get, and especially after having a kid, I am more lone wolf.
Used to be a social butterfly, and now the older I get, the more lone wolf I am.....hanging out with hubby and daughter on the weekends is the best.
Lurker coming out of hiding. : )
I'm a lone wolf type. I got over that whole going out thing by my late 20's.
Now that I'm in my late 30's, I'd much rather stay home with my child and my Pug and watch tv.
I'm a lone wolf, who kinda wishes she was a social butterfly...It seems harder to meet people with two toddlers. Ah well...
When it involves events with my husbands side of the family people seem to want to go in packs. When it involves my side of the family my husband would rather not have to go there with others.
I guess to a degree my side of the family is overwhelming. I grew up the oldest of 7 siblings.
It doesn't matter because hubby states thta unless I am with he doesn't really have a good time or he doesn't know hwat he wants to do.
I tend to enjoy my alone time too, but there are occasions when a kitchen pass is in order and I get stupid with my gal pals.
Another lone wolf here. I rarely make the effort to get together with somebody, but I'm always happy when someone invites me. I just don't think of it because it's so "not me". When I run into a couple of friends shopping together I always wonder why they are doing that?! On the other hand, my sister is totally opposite. Can't be alone. When her husband goes out of town, she has a friend spend the night (with her and her kids!), somebody is always there for happy hour or sitting around watching soaps. I guess that's why we are not subdivision people, we are just not into that. We have a few couples we go to dinner with occasionally, but it's 2 others at the most.
I think I'm somewhere in between. I used to be total social butterfly in high school & college. The last few years, though, most of the time I'd just as soon hang out at home with my husband as go out. Part of it is living in a new town & not having as many friends near by. The other part is just being too tired out from running after the kids to make the effort!
so...i just got back from the doctors...what about you?
looks like i have gallstones...i'll know more tomorrow, after an ultrasound!!
now...it's your turn to go. you promised!!!
I go through phases....We do enjoy our group vacation but we also relish a little time alone as a family. Football definitely is a private thing for me and my husband. We are going to be depressed after the super bowl. As the youngest in the family, I never wanted to be alone . But now as an adult I enjoy my quiet"meditation". So, I really enjoy changing it up! Makes life exciting:)
Well, not totally a lone wolf. I prefer to do something with my husband than on my own. For vacations, evening out, I like a balance between group stuff and just family time. But doing my errands with someone else? Hell no! No one is hampering my meandering trek through Target if I have anything to say about it!
I think it's a group therapy thing!!
(By the way, in answer to your question, if you wanted to read one of my best-ever tennis experiences, simply do a Google search for `David McMahon Bjorn Borg' or `Finding Bjorn Borg in Kathmandu'.)
Take care of that forehand crosscourt!!!
Whoa can I relate to this post. I too used to be more social and travel with an entourage. Now that I'm married with a family. Hubby and I are certainly lone wolves. I lived alone for several years, and in that time, I really enjoyed just having that peaceful "alone time".....heck, I miss that now!
Lone wolf. All the way. It's not that I don't like socializing, but I find my own company much more enjoyable than I do most other people. I'm a girly girl, but not to the point that I obsess about make-up or clothes, and I certainly don't want to talk about those things for hours at a time. And my husband suffers from social anxiety, so he's not comfortable in a crowd. No, it's best for us to chill at home. We're both happier that way.
Now, my son, he's a social butterfly. But he gets his fix at school, so it's all good.
Funny, I was surprised of all the "lone wolf" responses; I guess it's because I have two sons of high school and college age, who are always hanging out with their friends, and I've started to think sometimes that I'm the ONLY person who just wants to spend time with myself and my husband. As I've grown older, I feel that life is too short to waste my free time with anyone but very special people. Like many noted above, this mainly means my husband and sons.
I LOVE this post because I am so on the cusp. This year is the turning point. I realized how much I love to be social but I no longer plan it or seek it out. I feel so much more at ease and more calm this way. My husband of course loves it too. We have the occasional night out with another couple but usually it's just us and it's just fine with me!! I have been saying no to all the playgroup BS lately and I feel so liberated!
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