A tender moment...

As I was tucking my younger daughter into bed tonight she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said,

"Mommy, I love you, because when we throw up you tell us to do it in the
toilet, and when we miss, you don't get mad."

Is that sweet or what?! :)

But seriously, that's what I love about little children. They don't care whether you're good looking, rich or smart.

It's all about the basics; love, nurturing and staying cool when the puke hits the floor!

Scrolling Sunday...It's not easy being perfect.

There's a sickness in my town. Perhaps you've heard of it. It's called "I'm so busy and stressed out and it's all my own doing-itis!" The victims of this ailment are everywhere. How do we spot someone afflicted with "OVER SCHEDULED-itis?" Just ask them, "How are you?" You'll know immediately by their response. "Oh, I'm just so BUSY!! Sally has ballet and soccer this afternoon, then I have to get Bobby to hockey, there's a PTO meeting tomorrow morning and then I'm working the Book Fair. Saturday we have the Cancer Ball. I'm one of the chairs this year, so I'm still trying to gather all the donations for the Silent Auction. On Sunday it's Mary's birthday party and we're having 50 kids over. We're going to have a DJ and pony rides! I don't know how I'm going to get through this week...But next week is even BUSIER!!!" Whoa. Chill lady.

Now I do feel for the victims of this dreaded disorder. It's an exhausting way to live. I admire their chutzpah, but SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE! All things in moderation my friend. You've created this situation for yourself! Stop pretending to complain. You love it. If you don't, learn to say no. There are lots of people in this town willing to chip in.

As long as there are stay-at-home moms desperately in need of attention and validation this epidemic will continue. When you run across one of these poor souls, give them what they need. Marvel at their energy and commitment, tell them you just don't know how they do it! Have pity on them. It's not easy being Super Woman.

Now sing it like Chaka Khan!


I'm every woman, its all in me
Anything you want done, baby
I'll do it naturally
I'm every woman, its all in me
I can read your thoughts right now
Every one from a to z

I can cast a spell
With secrets you can't tell
Mix a special brew
Put fire inside of you
But anytime you feel
Danger or fear
Instantly I will appear, cause

chorus

I ain't braggin 'cause I'm the one
You just ask me ooh and it shall be done
And don't bother to compare
cause I've got it
I've got it, I've got it, yeah

I'm every woman!
I'm every woman!
I'm every woman!
I'm every woman!
I'm every woman!

P.S. I know I sound harsh-but that's what blogs are for! Are you with me?

There's a common saying: "If mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." If mothers are too pressured to enjoy life, then what hope is there for the rest of us?

The Return of "The Slammin' Post Awards" aka Why I Love Blogging!

I just took a few minutes to check out some of your blogs and I realized ONE of the reasons I love blogging.

It's so much fun to sit down for a few minutes with a cup of coffee and "visit" with my blog friends.

I never know what little treasures I find as I browse around the blogging world.

That being said, I'm going to hand out a couple of "Slammin' Post Awards" to some ladies who are actually doing something I haven't done in quite awhile...WRITING. (Really writing not just posting pictures or movie reviews!)

MizSassy, a friend of Maria's at Immoral Matriarch, has a gem of a blog! I love this post and that's why I'm giving it my very prestigious award. Check out Hearsay and Heretics' "Realizations." She totally rocks!

Lunanik at "Secrets of a Black Heart" always writes the best stuff, but this particular post floored me. I would have killed this guy before I would be able to write a post like this! Check out "A Letter."


Maybe I will write a Slammin' Post soon! One can only hope.

Show me your stuff!

My buddy Avery over at Avery Gray tagged her entire blogroll with this meme.

The premise...photograph five things in your house that say something about "who you are."

Avery changed the rules and I'm following her lead. I did five things or five types of things that say "who I am."

I didn't photograph my sex toys, because my husband is shy about those kind of things! KIDDING (Really I am!!!) :)

Okay, here we go...

#1 A sketch of me as a baby.

This is proof that at one time I was, in fact, a natural blond. I have been attempting to achieve that particular shade for 20 years with no success.

#2 Southern Living at HOME products
I sell the stuff...so my home is filled with it!

#3 Flowers.

I love having flowers in my house. If I had more moola I'd have bouquets of hydrangea, gerbera daisies, and tons of orchids all over the place. I am a huge orchid fan. (This one is a cheapy from Costco, it's on it's last legs!)

#4 My daughters' artwork.


My favorite way to decorate is with art created by my children. They feel so proud to have their masterpieces on display!

#5 My little collections...

Sea glass, shells, rocks from the beaches of Maine, we live near the beach so my house is full of these little found treasures!

I added four BONUS categories

#6 Evidence of hobbies past...

Needlepoint (picture and belt), belts I made from ribbon and jewelry from my jewelry making phase.

#7 My computers...

This is where the Caffeine Court magic happens...my daughter is busy working on her blog!

Take note...there are always Webkinz near my computer. (And all over my house.)

#8 The bane of my husband's existence...my laundry room.

It's always a mess. If I could give up blogging, tennis and TV maybe I'd get it all put away! (Who am I kidding...it'll NEVER get put away..it never stops coming!)

#9 Watercolor prints of my beach club...

I only photographed one, because quite frankly, I was getting tired! These memes are exhausting!

I'm almost positive one is me with M & C. It's where we always sit and many people have commented that they thinks it's us! (Didn't Carly Simon write a song about people like me? C'mon you know it..."You're so vain...I'll bet you think this song is about you..." Anyway...

If you are reading this, I tag you. Tell me if you do this because I want to get a peek into your houses-I'm nosy that way!

No particular subject...just wanted to chat!

My sister, her children and their new puppy have returned home...so it's just us again.

It was so much fun having them here. Our kids play so well together and my sister and I are very "in synch" with each other, we have the same sense of humor and we get each other, which really makes me wish they lived closer. They live four hours away, which means we only get to see each other every couple of months. We do talk on the phone every day...at least once or twice, but it's not the same as hanging out!

Brad and I FINALLY saw "The Other Boleyn Girl." WHOA. Now there's drama! Of course I was up late on the computer reading all abut King Henry VIII and his exploits. Henry is so hot right now with the popularity of "The Tudors" on Showtime, plus all the books and now this movie. I'm sure the fat f--k would be proud! (If you haven't seen the movie go see it now! The love scenes between Eric Bana and Scarlett Johansson are hot!)

One thing that intrigued me was the "B"necklace worn by Ann Boleyn. She wore it all the time in the movie. She even liked it so much she wore it to her execution and handed it to a servant, so it wouldn't get messed up when they chopped her head off!

She reminded me of Carrie Bradshaw and her gold Carrie Necklace. The minute I got home I did a little research on it and apparently I am not the only one drawn to this necklace. Ugly Betty sports one made handpicked by "Sex and the City" costume designer Patricia Field and made Jennifer Parrish at Parrish Relics .

It's not my style, but for $192 this baby can be yours with any initial you choose!
It's been great chatting with you...we really must do it again soon. I'm off to enjoy this beautiful almost Spring day!

I saw it..I liked it...I'M COPYING IT!

I saw this "visual meme" on someone else's blog. (I can't remember who) I thought it was cool, so here goes!

So not me...

So me...

So me...

So not me...

So me...

So not me...

So not me...

So me...

In keeping with my blog's theme of "It's all about the fluff" I kept my "visual meme" pretty generic. You can do anything, music, movies, decorating style, whatever you choose!

If you want to take a chance, you can get really personal, or political! (C'mon Maria...go out on a limb for us!)

I'll throw you all a bone here....

So not me...

So me...

I tag...YOU! (Let me know if you do it!)

Marlee Rocks!

I just watched "Dancing with the Stars" from the other night...

Marlee Matlin is unbelievable!

I was so inspired by her. She is profoundly deaf and yet she managed to perform a really difficult and intricate Cha-Cha in front of millions of people without missing a single beat.

She is such a charismatic and expressive person, I almost cried when I watched her.

Priscilla Presley did an awesome job too...with her dance. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't express any emotion with her face because she has injected so many chemicals into it that it doesn't move! It was seriously disturbing to look at.

Okay-gotta run...company is still here, so there will be no more profound thoughts on this blog today! (Or ever for that matter!) Remember what I said when I started this blog...it's all about the fluff!

Be fruitful and multiply! (?)

My sister and her family are visiting for a few days...so I thought I'd repeat a post from last October...

Last week a friend of mine announced to me that she is pregnant, with baby number six! I am really happy for her. She is completely organized, calm and happy, I don't know how she does it. (Valium?) I thought about the prospect of having six children, the logistics alone seem so daunting! How can you have six children dressed, fed, packed up and in the car (if your car is big enough) every morning? How can the average family pay for all the activities, clothes, dental work, etc. needed to raise six children?

The following is an Article by educational consultant, James B. Stenson, of the website ParentLeadership.com. He firmly believes that larger families are very beneficial for children.


Surrounded by siblings' conversation and playful interaction, they enjoy constant intellectual stimulation. This strengthens and sharpens their judgment.

They're surrounded by laughter. By and large, even with its ups and downs, the home of a large family is a happy place, a place of healthy fun. Good cheer, it seems, is livelier, more heartfelt, when shared with a crowd. All their lives, children from a large family remember the fun they had together, the sheer delight of being alive surrounded by love.

Even their normal squabbles and spats, when refereed by parents, teach them lessons of fairness, sharing, splitting differences, letting others off the hook, forgiving and forgetting. This fortifies their moral standards, their lifelong conscience. (Friction, though irksome and tedious at times, has its uses; it rounds off rough edges, forms a smooth, resilient surface.)

Since their parents take care of their needs but cannot satisfy their whims (through lack of money and time), children learn the difference between wants and needs. They learn to wait for what they want, or to work and earn it themselves. Thus they are spared the corrupting influence of instant gratification. They internalize the virtues of patience and honorable ambition. They grow to become self-reliant self-starters.

Through interactions with their siblings, children more deeply understand gender differences. From their sisters, boys understand and appreciate femininity; from their brothers, girls understand and appreciate what's common among males. All the children are thus better prepared for marriage.

One of the mysteries of a large family is the startling differences siblings display in temperaments and talents and interests. By dealing with these differences among their siblings, children learn to get along with anyone. Having to share a bedroom and bathroom and space at the table prepares the children superbly for marriage and for life.

Older children play with the youngest ones, and thus form a bond of affection with them. Younger children receive love and learning from several older people, not just their parents. So older children are pulled out of their egos, and younger ones are surrounded by love.

Each child journeys through life enjoying the support of his grown-up brothers and sisters. No matter what befalls them in life, your children will never be alone. Indeed, the finest gift parents can give their children, the gift lasting a lifetime, is their brothers and sisters.

Many of the articles I read on the advantages of having many children mentioned that children from large families will not be spoiled or coddled. Although some people choose to have fewer children for financial reasons, that doesn't mean they intend to shower them with material goods. Just because someone has the funds to indulge their children doesn't mean they choose to do so.

The complete opposite end of the spectrum are those who choose not to have children. A friend of mine from high school never had kids, never wanted them. She said she absolutely never had any maternal feelings. She enjoys golf, tennis, travel. Her house is always in order and she has complete freedom. Sounds great on paper, but I cannot imagine it. I've always known I wanted to have children and I thank God everyday that I do.

The bottom line is, the decision to have a family is very personal. No matter how many children we have, as parents we all try our best to give our children a strong foundation. If they have siblings, hopefully they will have good relationships. It's hard work, no matter what.

**Please share your thoughts on this subject. My comment box is open 24 hours a day and I await your insightful remarks with eager anticipation!

I might be over 40...but I'm not wearing THESE!!

Check out the e-mail I just got from Lands' End.

I know high waisted jeans are all the rage...but elastic waist high waisted crops with a t-shirt tucked in them??? Hello?!

These are the Spring equivalent of Mom jeans! (Or toddler pants for big girls!)

Give me another 30 years...and then maybe, just maybe, you'll catch me sporting these...at the retirement home!

It looks like they should have little snaps between the legs to make it easier to change my adult diaper!



(Go to the click here to catch the rear view in better detail...I tell you-these pants are HOT!)

Clemsongirl and WalMart Man-Love Blooms in Aisle 9

As many of you already know Clemsongirl met a sweet man at WalMart who fell head over heels in love with her and proposed marriage in the checkout line.


He made her a promise that she wouldn't have to work no mo' if she would only divorce Coach and run off with him in his pickup truck.


Clemsongirl admits that his offer was DAMN TEMPTING.


This is where I come in...I'm sure you've heard of a "White Wedding" (does Billy Idol ring a bell?) Well this, my friends would be a "White Trash Wedding," one that would make Roseanne feel all warm and tingly.

Impoverished Preppy is the wedding planner and she asked that I choose a honeymoon destination for the blushing bride and mullet wearing groom.

I chose South of the Border (or S.O.B.) in Dillon S.C. Not only is it convenient for the bride and groom, it can actually serve as the location for the ceremony

For those of you not familiar with this amazing resort..I'll fill you in on the details...

South of the Border is a rest stop and roadside attraction on Interstate 95 and US 301-501 near Dillon, South Carolina, so named because it is just "south of the border" – the border between the U.S. states of South Carolina and North Carolina. The rest area features not only restaurants, gas stations and a motel, but also a small amusement park, shopping (including adult entertainment at the "Dirty Old Man Shop"), and, famously, fireworks. Its mascot is Pedro, an extravagantly stereotypicalMexican "bandito". It is advertised by hundreds of billboards along surrounding highways that start 175 miles away. Well-known landmarks in the area, the irreverent signs feature Pedro, wearing a sombrero and poncho, counting down the number of miles to South of the Border.

A dozen weddings are performed here every summer weekend. One package for $99 gets you married, a night in an "heir-conditioned" honeymoon suite complete with champagne and waterbed, and a free breakfast the next morning! (I'm sure Clemsongirl and WalMart Man will need a hearty breakfast after spending their wedding night doing the back stroke in that waterbed!)

South of the Border is a vacation paradise! The happy couple can frolic in Pedro's Pleasure Dome, with its indoor pool, steam room, Jacuzzi, bar and wedding chapel. If the minis decide to join mom and their new step dad they will have hours of fun and bonding time at the amusement park or setting off fireworks purchased in the S.O.B. gift shop!

Have a wonderful time Clemsongirl and WalMart Man...send me a post card!

E.E.H.A.D. aka Easter Egg Hunt Anxiety Disorder

I almost forgot to mention. Today was our town's annual Easter Egg Hunt. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but Easter Egg Hunts stress me out. There is something about an activity where there is a limited amount of booty and head to head competition to obtain it that causes me anxiety.

The whole atmosphere gets my heart pounding, the way the eggs are cordoned off, all the parents lined up with their kids whispering directions in their ear, and then suddenly the whistle blows and THEY'RE OFF!! It takes every ounce of self control for me to resist the urge to help my kids pick up eggs. The same goes for my desire to intervene when I see other parents helping their kids gather eggs.

I did really well this year. I think all my Buddhism books are starting to pay off. I completely detached myself from the situation. I let my kids do whatever they wanted and we all left the park happy. Catherine even managed to score herself a prize winning egg all by herself! (She got a huge chocolate fire truck as her reward.)

Eight and a half years as a parent and I'm finally starting to get it. Hey, what can I say? I'm a slow learner!

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!! and early Alzheimer's

I know you've all been waiting for the results of today's tennis match with baited breath. (Humor me...sometimes a part of friendship is feigning interest!)

The good news...my mixed doubles team is going to districts. The bad news...I'm not playing. My partner and I won today, but we're both the new kids on the block and the rookies don't get to go to districts. (There are 6 doubles pairs on my team, only 3 get to play.)

Oh well, I feel good that I contributed to our win and I'm off the hot seat!

To be honest with you, I'm lucky I made it to the match at all.

I was convinced that my match was being played at the Atlantic Club. I arrived 20 minutes before the match, checked out my hair in the mirror, looked around for my team members. "Hmmm," I thought, "where is everyone?" I sauntered over to the front desk. "Where is the USTA mixed doubles match being played?" The lady at the desk gave me an answer I DID NOT want to hear. "No mixed doubles today...there's a junior tournament all afternoon!"

At that point I almost peed my tennis skirt. In a split second I went from la la land into complete panic mode! I grabbed my new Blackberry with no phone numbers programmed into it and started calling tennis clubs. Finally I found the right club. Colts Neck Racket Club !! My match started in 10 minutes. I was 15 minutes away, there are game penalties for lateness. These people take there tennis very seriously and lateness is not tolerated. (Sounds like fun right?!)

Normally I try to obey traffic laws, but this was a serious emergency! When I tell you that I FLEW up the highway it is not exaggeration. Thank goodness I didn't get pulled over.

The big victory of the day is that I made it to the match, right on time and no one was hurt. The lesson for me, double check EVERYTHING from now on. I've been spacing out ALOT lately. I'm not sure what the deal is!

Considering how freaked out I was, I played unusually well. Maybe the secret is to panic about something unrelated to tennis, thus eliminating tennis related anxiety! Who knows.

That being said, we're going to spend a nice evening watching "Napoleon Dynamite" as a family. It'll be just like "The Waltons."

Happy Sunday!

Smokin' in the boys' room?

I just got back from a visit to my hometown. My best friend from childhood and her husband just bought a house there. We did a little tour of our old stompin' grounds in the minivan with my husband and two daughters.

As we drove around the parking lot of my old high school we pointed out the "smoker's lounge." It made us laugh. It seemed so normal back then, nowadays I can't imagine a high school with a smoker's lounge for students!! I wasn't a smoker, but I did have a thing for bad boys and spent many a free period hanging out in that smoker's lounge with my Farrah Fawcett hairdo and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Ah the memories!

I should find one of my old photos from high school and scan it so you can see the heinous hairdo I was sporting way back when. (Along with every other girl in town!) My sister and I would fight for mirror space every morning as we used our curling irons and round brushes to perfect our "wings" before we rushed off to school.

Okay, enough about the good old days...Tomorrow is a big day for me. My mixed doubles tennis team has our last match of the season. If we win this one we go to districts. (No pressure there!)

Wish me luck!

What a busy week I've had...

I've been DYING to dish the dirt on "Housewives" so here goes!

The Count and Countess are "in the house!"
(Do you think he sleeps in a coffin and grows fangs at night?)

I'm going to focus on the LuAnn/Jill/Ramona saga. I still have no problem with LuAnn. On a superficial level it appears she really has it together. She's gorgeous and rich, her house is spectacular, she dresses great, she's got an amazing figure and her kids seem to be normal. (Damn her!) LuAnn has poise and self confidence, she's a Countess and runs in some very exclusive social circles. Considering all that, it would be unusual for her to be completely down to earth.

Let's face it. She does think she's better than Ramona. Technically it's wrong, but it happens all the time, and Ramona IS annoying and insecure.

The whole fiasco with Ramona's cooking party got so out of control. That Jill is such a spiteful piece of work. Let it go! So you didn't get invited to a little party. So what? She says she's not close to Ramona anyway. What an ego. She's just pissed that Ramona invited LuAnn, her girl crush. Don't worry Jill, Ramona won't steal your Countess from you...or your "gay husband" Brad!

Now let's get to the tennis match. I have to tell you, this scene hit a little close to home for me! First of all, the spectators. This reminded me so much of my team tennis matches. There is always an obnoxious group of ladies in the peanut gallery dressed up in these little ensembles. They talk really loud, clap after points and dispute line calls. How rude! I swear you would think these women are at the U.S. Open. Ewww.

The trash talk is so familiar to me too! We all want to win, but calm down! I find it embarrassing to strut around and talk about how I intend to demolish someone on the court.

That woman Jill really feels like a better person when she wins and she took so much pleasure in seeing Ramona lose. I find that depressing. Enough about the tennis. Clearly this is an emotional subject for me. I'm working very hard to overcome my tennis related mental issues.

Next week we get to see Jill throw a fit during fashion week because Ramona is seated in front of her at a runway show. Oh the hardships these women endure...it's heartbreaking!

Jill and Bobby
You can't see her hand...but it's
reaching for his wallet!

Whatever you say!

My four year old daughter has this "thing" about people watching her while she plays. She must have complete privacy when she plays with her Barbies or Webkinz.

I walked in the play room a few minutes ago and I could tell I was getting on her nerves. "Mommy," she said, "please get out of here! Go on the computer or something!!"

Hey, you don't have to tell me twice...

Their better halves?

Hey "Real Housewives" fans...check out this link! It's from the New York Daily News.


A field guide to the 'Real' husbands of New York City

The couple we love to hate
Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen

Too tired to dish the dirt...

I watched "Real Housewives of NYC" LOVED IT. My goodness the claws are coming out!!

Unfortunately, I had my first official USTA tennis team meeting last night at our captain's house. Let's just say I'm not the partier I used to be and two glasses of wine and lots of loud women are enough to tucker me out the next day.

The scene on the tennis court in "Real Housewives," that was NOTHING compared to the nastiness that goes on at a USTA match. Last night's meeting took it out of me and I didn't even pick up a racket. So much drama! I'm going to give every girl on my team a copy of the Dalai Lama's book, "The Path to Tranquility." They really need to chill!

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow night? A PTO "Ladies Night Out" with 200 women and lots of wine. Oy vey.

Here is what I'm wearing. Yes folks my outfit from Ann Taylor Loft, no snide comments please. Remember, I'm over 40 and I live in the suburbs! Okay, here goes...

I will be completing the look with a silver cuff bracelet and big silver hoop earrings. My pregnant friend is driving, so I can knock back a couple of glasses of wine if I so choose, that way I can feel like I did today on Friday. YAY!

Tomorrow, (or Friday) we'll talk housewives.

Oh and P.S.... I had to go to Macy's today and by a padded bra AND fake chicken cutlet boobs to fill out that shirt. That's how flat chested I am. Don't you feel sorry for me?!!