3.17.2008

Clemsongirl and WalMart Man-Love Blooms in Aisle 9

As many of you already know Clemsongirl met a sweet man at WalMart who fell head over heels in love with her and proposed marriage in the checkout line.


He made her a promise that she wouldn't have to work no mo' if she would only divorce Coach and run off with him in his pickup truck.


Clemsongirl admits that his offer was DAMN TEMPTING.


This is where I come in...I'm sure you've heard of a "White Wedding" (does Billy Idol ring a bell?) Well this, my friends would be a "White Trash Wedding," one that would make Roseanne feel all warm and tingly.

Impoverished Preppy is the wedding planner and she asked that I choose a honeymoon destination for the blushing bride and mullet wearing groom.





I chose South of the Border (or S.O.B.) in Dillon S.C. Not only is it convenient for the bride and groom, it can actually serve as the location for the ceremony

For those of you not familiar with this amazing resort..I'll fill you in on the details...

South of the Border is a rest stop and roadside attraction on Interstate 95 and US 301-501 near Dillon, South Carolina, so named because it is just "south of the border" – the border between the U.S. states of South Carolina and North Carolina. The rest area features not only restaurants, gas stations and a motel, but also a small amusement park, shopping (including adult entertainment at the "Dirty Old Man Shop"), and, famously, fireworks. Its mascot is Pedro, an extravagantly stereotypicalMexican "bandito". It is advertised by hundreds of billboards along surrounding highways that start 175 miles away. Well-known landmarks in the area, the irreverent signs feature Pedro, wearing a sombrero and poncho, counting down the number of miles to South of the Border.



A dozen weddings are performed here every summer weekend. One package for $99 gets you married, a night in an "heir-conditioned" honeymoon suite complete with champagne and waterbed, and a free breakfast the next morning! (I'm sure Clemsongirl and WalMart Man will need a hearty breakfast after spending their wedding night doing the back stroke in that waterbed!)

South of the Border is a vacation paradise! The happy couple can frolic in Pedro's Pleasure Dome, with its indoor pool, steam room, Jacuzzi, bar and wedding chapel. If the minis decide to join mom and their new step dad they will have hours of fun and bonding time at the amusement park or setting off fireworks purchased in the S.O.B. gift shop!



Have a wonderful time Clemsongirl and WalMart Man...send me a post card!


21 comments:

Impoverished Preppy said...

I am sitting here laughing my butt off. Very funny and absolutely perfect! You do great work - I will definitely call on you again.

Scarlett O'Kara said...

When can I expect my invite? Maybe I could run off with one of the groomsmen?

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Holy shi-ot that's funny. You already know how I feel about SOB, so that's really the perfect destination. What about a stop over in Gatorland?

Thanks again for being a bridesmaid. It'll be so Klassy.

magnolia mama said...

OMG...you are friggin' hilarious.

Hair Girl said...

That is too funny. I am anxiously waiting my invite.

Wendy said...

I never sausage a place!

jenontheedge said...

And to think I was going to suggest Myrtle Beach. SOB is WAY better.

P said...

Oh, it really is wonderfully romantic. I should know. It's where I spent my honeymoon. (hee,hee)

Christine said...

I had NO idea what you were talking about...but a few linky clicks later and GREAT! Now I have two MORE blogs to read.

Thanks a heckuva lot!

Jerseygirl89 said...

OMG, I have to go there. Seriously, I bet I'd be the skinniest, hottest woman there (except for the bride, of course). That place sounds too wonderful. Really. Wait until I tell Hubby where we going on vacation!

MommyTime said...

After reading the backstory, I felt compelled to contribute. This swing will certainly do wonders for setting the right tone in their new love shack, don't you think?

MommyTime said...

Sorry, I apparently screwed up the link. Here is is again: fabulous swing.

WSU Laura said...

That rocks! Please can I have invite - I will pull out my special pink camo dress and get my jumbo can of aqua net ready to style my mullet all purdy like for THE event of the year. I promise to get those chew cans off of your wedding list at Wally World.

Hair Girl said...

I found a picture of the boytoy and his first wife. Come over and check them out!

Julie said...

That's close to Darlington too, so maybe they could catch a race!! Woooohooooooo! Can we go mattress surfing at the reception??

Cas said...

Woohoo SOB! Nothin' better than that. If you don't take a waterbed room I bet they have one with a bed requiring quarters. Do you think I'd be lucky enough to score a brother-cousin-dad of the groom?

the mama bird diaries said...

I love a romantic wedding bargain.

The Mrs. said...

That is so damn funny! What a funny place!!!! Perfect for a white trash affair!!!

The 5 Bickies said...

Wow...you are clever. I decided to join in on the fun and offer my suggestion for reception site. Check it out...

Brad said...

Honey...I wondered what we would do for our tenth! Now I know! first "Vote for Pedro" and now this dude, it must be fate!

The last time I was at SOB my dad bought fireworks (Whistling Jupiters) and he shot them off while we were camping.

Slight problem. They rained down and burned holes into the canvas. It was one of my dad's only Homer "Doh" moments. Thanks for "sparking" a memory.

Hub a Dub

Happy Homemaker said...

Funny, funny, funny! You market it so well!!

 
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