CAFFEINE COURT

What a busy week I've had...

I've been DYING to dish the dirt on "Housewives" so here goes!

The Count and Countess are "in the house!"
(Do you think he sleeps in a coffin and grows fangs at night?)

I'm going to focus on the LuAnn/Jill/Ramona saga. I still have no problem with LuAnn. On a superficial level it appears she really has it together. She's gorgeous and rich, her house is spectacular, she dresses great, she's got an amazing figure and her kids seem to be normal. (Damn her!) LuAnn has poise and self confidence, she's a Countess and runs in some very exclusive social circles. Considering all that, it would be unusual for her to be completely down to earth.

Let's face it. She does think she's better than Ramona. Technically it's wrong, but it happens all the time, and Ramona IS annoying and insecure.

The whole fiasco with Ramona's cooking party got so out of control. That Jill is such a spiteful piece of work. Let it go! So you didn't get invited to a little party. So what? She says she's not close to Ramona anyway. What an ego. She's just pissed that Ramona invited LuAnn, her girl crush. Don't worry Jill, Ramona won't steal your Countess from you...or your "gay husband" Brad!

Now let's get to the tennis match. I have to tell you, this scene hit a little close to home for me! First of all, the spectators. This reminded me so much of my team tennis matches. There is always an obnoxious group of ladies in the peanut gallery dressed up in these little ensembles. They talk really loud, clap after points and dispute line calls. How rude! I swear you would think these women are at the U.S. Open. Ewww.

The trash talk is so familiar to me too! We all want to win, but calm down! I find it embarrassing to strut around and talk about how I intend to demolish someone on the court.

That woman Jill really feels like a better person when she wins and she took so much pleasure in seeing Ramona lose. I find that depressing. Enough about the tennis. Clearly this is an emotional subject for me. I'm working very hard to overcome my tennis related mental issues.

Next week we get to see Jill throw a fit during fashion week because Ramona is seated in front of her at a runway show. Oh the hardships these women endure...it's heartbreaking!

Jill and Bobby
You can't see her hand...but it's
reaching for his wallet!