The following story is a little detailed, but bear with me...I do have a point.
I'm not sure what the deal is, but lately I have been feeling unusually frustrated with the everyday challenges of life.
Today I drove my 8 year old daughter and two of her friends to tennis. I picked them up at school, gave them all a snack and a bottle of water, picked my 4 year old up at her school and proceeded to the tennis club. In the car they were being normal, LOUD little girls, but they were a little over the top. They spilled popcorn all over the back seat and in my opinion were acting obnoxious. It was really getting on my nerves.
Anyway, I got them all settled at their lesson and then had to pop by the grocery store to get food. (Catherine has been really sick for a few days and our cupboard was bare.) The closest supermarket to tennis is an A&P that I don't really like. It's overpriced and the people who shop their are a little too Stepford Wife-like for my taste. I had no choice, so off I went to the perfect little supermarket, full of perfect little people.
When we got to the market Catherine decided she wanted to go in the HUGE cart with the kid's car in the front. Cool, no problem at all. Half way through the cereal aisle she climbs out and starts crying. I could see she was exhausted, she could barely sit up in the cart. Soooo, I had to carry her throughout the supermarket while attempting to maneuver the 18 wheeler cart through the NARROW aisles. As I struggled to get groceries you would think at least one person would give me a sympathetic smile. Oh no...all I got were looks of complete annoyance. After all, I should have had the manners to leave my child at home with the nanny. (Oh shoot, I forgot I DON'T HAVE A NANNY!!! Sorry b---tches.)
FINALLY I managed to get to checkout. As I tried to get through the checkout line I realized it was too narrow for my cart. I tried backing out. No dice. I pushed forward. Nada. At that point I couldn't take it anymore. I positioned my foot squarely on the back of the cart and PUSHED. With a loud screach the cart careened forward almost freeing me. The checkout boy's face got all red and the manager yelled at me and told me I should have gone through the handicapped aisle. Ooops. In my state of extreme frustration I didn't see it. Silly psycho me.
At that point the people in the adjoining checkout lines were staring at me. I felt completely embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior.
I did my best to maintain some dignity. I paid for my food, loaded the cart with bags and then with one last KICK dislodged the cart from the tight squeeze between the candy display and the conveyor belt. I bid the checkout boy a fond farewell and left the store, trying to keep my head held high.
Not one of my better moments. I did, however, realize that I need to work on chilling out. I lost my cool, publicly in a store full of women whose life's work is to look perfect 24/7.
I tried to figure out what's bugging me, enough to make me act like a 2 year old in public and this is my conclusion. I'm not always the most consistent mom. I'm pretty lenient and they are taking advantage of me. If I don't take the bull by the horns now, I think I'm really going to be in for it!
My sister started having children ten years before me, she doesn't take crap from any of them. I used to think she was so strict. Now I know why.
One of my friends told me, "You need a big glass of wine tonight." I don't think that's the answer. I think what I need is a bottle of Valium and a parenting book.
The sooner the better.
The sooner the better.