Be fruitful and multiply! (?)

My sister and her family are visiting for a few days...so I thought I'd repeat a post from last October...

Last week a friend of mine announced to me that she is pregnant, with baby number six! I am really happy for her. She is completely organized, calm and happy, I don't know how she does it. (Valium?) I thought about the prospect of having six children, the logistics alone seem so daunting! How can you have six children dressed, fed, packed up and in the car (if your car is big enough) every morning? How can the average family pay for all the activities, clothes, dental work, etc. needed to raise six children?

The following is an Article by educational consultant, James B. Stenson, of the website ParentLeadership.com. He firmly believes that larger families are very beneficial for children.


Surrounded by siblings' conversation and playful interaction, they enjoy constant intellectual stimulation. This strengthens and sharpens their judgment.

They're surrounded by laughter. By and large, even with its ups and downs, the home of a large family is a happy place, a place of healthy fun. Good cheer, it seems, is livelier, more heartfelt, when shared with a crowd. All their lives, children from a large family remember the fun they had together, the sheer delight of being alive surrounded by love.

Even their normal squabbles and spats, when refereed by parents, teach them lessons of fairness, sharing, splitting differences, letting others off the hook, forgiving and forgetting. This fortifies their moral standards, their lifelong conscience. (Friction, though irksome and tedious at times, has its uses; it rounds off rough edges, forms a smooth, resilient surface.)

Since their parents take care of their needs but cannot satisfy their whims (through lack of money and time), children learn the difference between wants and needs. They learn to wait for what they want, or to work and earn it themselves. Thus they are spared the corrupting influence of instant gratification. They internalize the virtues of patience and honorable ambition. They grow to become self-reliant self-starters.

Through interactions with their siblings, children more deeply understand gender differences. From their sisters, boys understand and appreciate femininity; from their brothers, girls understand and appreciate what's common among males. All the children are thus better prepared for marriage.

One of the mysteries of a large family is the startling differences siblings display in temperaments and talents and interests. By dealing with these differences among their siblings, children learn to get along with anyone. Having to share a bedroom and bathroom and space at the table prepares the children superbly for marriage and for life.

Older children play with the youngest ones, and thus form a bond of affection with them. Younger children receive love and learning from several older people, not just their parents. So older children are pulled out of their egos, and younger ones are surrounded by love.

Each child journeys through life enjoying the support of his grown-up brothers and sisters. No matter what befalls them in life, your children will never be alone. Indeed, the finest gift parents can give their children, the gift lasting a lifetime, is their brothers and sisters.

Many of the articles I read on the advantages of having many children mentioned that children from large families will not be spoiled or coddled. Although some people choose to have fewer children for financial reasons, that doesn't mean they intend to shower them with material goods. Just because someone has the funds to indulge their children doesn't mean they choose to do so.

The complete opposite end of the spectrum are those who choose not to have children. A friend of mine from high school never had kids, never wanted them. She said she absolutely never had any maternal feelings. She enjoys golf, tennis, travel. Her house is always in order and she has complete freedom. Sounds great on paper, but I cannot imagine it. I've always known I wanted to have children and I thank God everyday that I do.

The bottom line is, the decision to have a family is very personal. No matter how many children we have, as parents we all try our best to give our children a strong foundation. If they have siblings, hopefully they will have good relationships. It's hard work, no matter what.

**Please share your thoughts on this subject. My comment box is open 24 hours a day and I await your insightful remarks with eager anticipation!