9.22.2007

Girl World



I am one of three girls. I have two daughters. I guess you could say I live in "Girl World." What does that really mean?

I remember when I was pregnant a friend of mine had a son. She told me she was so glad he was a boy. "Quite frankly," she said, "I see people who have girls and I feel sorry for them. I'm telling you this because I know you will have a boy." WRONG. As a matter of fact, I knew I was having a girl but was sworn to secrecy by my husband.

After Meg was born some people asked. "Was Brad disappointed that he doesn't have a son?" HUH?! It was our first baby-we didn't care! Apparently many women cry when they find out they are having a girl. Wow.

I got pregnant 3 years later with daughter #2. We didn't find out the sex-and yes I will admit I am brainwashed enough that I ideally wanted a boy. (One of each-you know the deal.) It seems the only one rooting for a girl was daughter #1. She refused to accept the possibility that the baby could be a boy. I think she WILLED Brad's X chromosome to fertilize my egg. She got her wish and along came Catherine. Once I saw her I wasn't disappointed at all. As cliched as it sounds-she was healthy and adorable. That's all I needed.

Right after Catherine's birth Brad's friend from college and his wife came to visit. She was pregnant with #3. She already had 2 boys and was praying she would have another. "No offense" she told me, "but I hate girls." WHAT??? "Girls are whiny and prissy. I like boys." Hmmm. Sounds like self hatred to me. This coming from a woman who was adopted. Did her biological parents send her to an orphanage because she was a girl? Food for thought. (She had a girl by the way-ha ha!)

My husband's grandmother is a very sweet lady. She had five sons. A fact she is very proud of. She would often ask me when I was going to have a boy. How could I answer this question? I had a hard enough time having my two girls. If by some miracle I have another baby it has to have a penis? Enough pressure already!

Anyway. Here I am 42 years old. Unless I adopt a baby, I won't have a son. Do I feel slighted? Not really. For me it's not about the sex of my kids. I love by daughters because they are who they are. If I gave birth to sons I would love them just the same. No more, no less. (Unless they turned out to be "whiny and prissy!"


4 comments:

Cindy said...

I really do not understand why people think you HAVE to have one of each. I have 2 boys. My doctor advised me to not have anymore children. People actually said to me you must be so disappointed....Please a healthy baby, what is to be disappointed about?

Tickled Pink & Green said...

That is so silly! I have two girls and I love it. I know I would have loved whatever I had, and my husband had no preference whatsoever. However, my husband was a Jr. and since he has sisters, I guess the family name ended with him. I wonder if that bothers my FIL? Sorry Diddy!

One thing that makes me think I wouldn't do well with a boy is I cannot STAND all that video game stuff. I've been to friends houses, who have boys doing those video games, and all that noise, etc. drives me insane. Does every boy do that stuff? Maybe you get use to it.

Southern Fried Girl said...

I admit that I really want a boy when I do have kids. Little boys just crack me UP.

And girls are cute too - don't get me wrong. I don't know - something about little boys that just makes me laugh. They are usually just a big mess and to me, that is fab. :)

Marjorie said...

Thanks for your comment and for directing me here to this post. Crazy that you're getting the opposite comments. What the hell is wrong with people? To me, comments like the ones we both have gotten about the genders of our kids is totally inexcusable.

And I find it difficult when people constantly attribute certain things they do to "boy behavior" and "girl behavior," not just because it's a pet peeve, but because I think it can cause real harm to kids to be seen as a gender first and an individual second. More power to all the girls who like to climb trees and the boys who like to play with dolls--and to the ones who don't, too.

 
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