Mess With the Bull...You Get The Horns-BITCH.

Yesterday, my 9 year old daughter Meg got paired up for a school project with a very nasty girl in her class. This child is a clone of her mother, very pretty and VERY full of herself.

Meg told me that when she sat next to her, the snippy little wench gave her a dirty look and said. "I feel like punching someone."

According to a bullying sheet we got home from Meg's school she should have said something to the bully like, "Sorry you seem to need to hurt people."

The sheet has a whole list of responses to put-downs, some others include, "Hey, that's a put down!" "And here I thought we were best friends!" and "Next time I see you I'll remember to bow." All cute, but they don't really get the point across the way I'd like her to.

Rather than use the sheet, I gave my daughter MY advice.

I told her she should have said is..."That's weird, because I feel like stabbing someone in the eye with my pencil." HOOOOO!!!!

Now of course I didn't really think she should say that, but it was fun to joke about it and it made Meg laugh.

Meg then told me that the little punk didn't stop at the punching comment. She also moved close to my daughter and said...(in a sinister voice)

"Can I cut your hair?"


To which I told my daughter she should have said..."Julia, I think you forgot to take your meds again! Should I walk you to the nurse?"

We laughed again.

My first reaction was to tell the teacher not to seat my daughter next to that pompous 4th grade diva anymore, but that won't do us any good.

We've talked about this before. Bitches are everywhere, so she might as well learn early how to deal with them.

Luckily there are programs at school that deal with this kind of crap. I'm also glad that Meg tells me about these incidents so we can talk about it, and even make some jokes.

The bullying sheet I got did say that kids who do this kind of stuff have have anger and they take it out on others. My question is, what the hell did someone do to a 9 year old to make her so angry and vicious? It's not my job to analyze but I can tell you this. I am so proud that both of my girls are nice. They go out of their way to make other people feel good and they are always kind.

They won't be able to avoid being paired up with mean kids every now and again, but I will make damn sure that some angry, spoiled, brat is not going to affect my child's self esteem.

I'm going to print out a little bully cheat sheet of my own, which includes comebacks like..."Wow, you are such a byotch!!!" and "Get off my ass!" or "Make sure you lock your bedroom windows tonight!"

What do you think? I'm going to call my school's psychologist and see what they say. I think a little coaching from Ms. Jill might be just the thing the school needs to stop bullying FOR GOOD.

Oh and you might be thinking, "Gee Jill, it seems like YOU have some anger issues."

Very perceptive of you! Yes, perhaps I do, but unlike certain 4th grade girls, I take it out on the tennis court, or the blog...NOT on other people.

Thanks, and have an anger free day.


Mrs. K said...

I'll tell you what those parents did to that 9 yr old- they are probably hooked on the internet so much they have no time for the kids...ha ha ha...but seriously, it could be like my kid's bullies...their moms have no time for them and get rejected at home so they come to school and take their anger out on kids at school- loved your pencil answer- i'm going to use that

Anonymous said...

That's awful. Luckily, your daughter seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

My neighbor has an 11 year old daughter who I think may just be the sweetest girl I've ever met. She is always polite and a genuinely kind person. But her mother monitors her emails and told me that even her "always kind" daughter has made snippy comments to friends in emails. I think it could be just a part of growing up to go through that bitchy phase. Obviously some girls are the "mean girls" and from my experience they often remain that way into adulthood - but a lot of girls are genuinely good people who have to get the bitchiness out of their system during adolescence.

Mama Wheaton said...

How did the project go after the queen bitch got over herself?

Scarlet O'Kara said...

That is great! There are several kids that I would like to "bully" in my daughter's kindergarten class. How sad that at such a young age, they have so much anger built up inside of them...

PaperCourt said...

That pisses me off just reading it. My 5-year-old son (who is preschool) has a friend that bullies him all the time. The friend is an only child and clearly gets what he wants all the time. My son even told me that "friend" yells at his mom all the time (at playdates). We've done some role playing to try to give my son comebacks and work on saying "NO".

Maddie said...

You give incredibly sound advice...sad to say it's just as relevant to us moms, particuarly when we meet one of those "bullies" on the tennis court.

Jaina said...

Good for you for teaching your girls how to handle such situations. I just don't understand people like that little girl. Seriously.

Tara R. said...

What a little psycho! Keep an eye on that one, she's a nightly news segment waiting to happen.

Cookie Crums said...

WOW! 9 years old and acting like this. That little girl's parents also probably think she does not wrong and there's always someone else to blame for her problems. I am so not looking forward to these days as my little one gets older.

Preppy 101 said...

I just found your blog and what a perfect topic since I taught school for 33 years and dealt with these kinds of girls. I enjoyed every minute of it, too, cause I {not to brag} could nipitinthebud every time!! My daughter dealt with this - she was also nice. It was the worst in high school - where I taught! So I finally told another student who I knew "ran her mouth" that my daughter was not 18 yet, so I just might have to have some people arrested if they didn't leave her alone. Funny thing - not one more thing happened! My hubby always said - "if they can survive the playground, they can survive anything" and this is so true! He was a wise man about such things. And you're right - they are clones of their mothers. I love your comebacks. My daughter always talked to me, too, and that makes all the difference in the long run! You are lucky there! {Sorry this is so long.}

Frau said...

Your ideas are all great and I think the school should adopt them immediately. Your daughter needs to look her in the eye and say your a freak! Than run like hell!
Have a great weekend.

Kel said...

I like the 'pencil' comeback..classic! And as for the hair cutting, your daughter should say 'only if I can cut yours first! hahaha

Bully's so sad and while its probably a good thing your school takes the time to provide a 'bully come back sheet' sometimes its just not practical, but with you giveing her the 'real low down' yep, she should be set to handle any bully she meets! :)

Stella said...

It's all about the parenting! Children model what they see at home. This little girl must be seeing some type of anger at home that she has learned to carry with her.

That being said, I worry about my child that likes to push her classmates down and sit on them.

It sounds like your daughter has an excellent head on her shoulders and a great mom to look to for snappy comebacks!! :)

Sass said...



It's such a good thing when our daughters still tell us this stuff. You handled it just like I would have.

scargosun said...

"Can I walk you to the nurse." he he he

sltbee69 said...

Ugh! I totally relate. I hate it when my 11 1/2 YO daughter comes home complaining about the little bitches in her class! I'm not ashamed to say that I told her when she was in 4th grade to reply back to this one girl the good old saying about opinions being like butt holes - everyone has one and they usually stink.

Petunia said...

I tell my daughter the same things that you tell Meg and she says "MOM! I can't say that!!!" It just makes me so mad when I hear that someone was mean to her!
The cutting hair part was really scary! Totally psycho!

Brie said...

What a nightmare but I like your approach... handle it straight on, it unfortunately won't be the last byotch she'll ever meet

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