Read it and weep...

If you haven't read the House Healthcare Bill, here's your chance.

Of course you are free to make up your own mind about this, but if you think this is as scary as I do, make your voice heard. My health and the health of my children is important to me. Back in the day, when I was broke and bartending I found a way to pay for my own healthcare insurance. I didn't expect the government to provide it for me AND I sure as hell didn't want them dictating my care.

I would love to see the government set up walk in clinics for those without insurance, but I am STRONGLY opposed to them taking over the entire country's healthcare.

Here is the entire text of the bill:

http://rightsoup.com/house-health-care-bill/

A few interpretations of the bill I received in an e-mail:

Here's my personal favorite: Pg 53- Severability “If any provision of the Act, or any application of such provision to any person or circumstance, is held to be unconstitutional, the remainder of the provisions of this Act and the application of the provision to any other person or circumstance shall not be affected.”

That means this bill is more powerful than the constitution. Are you still listening?

Pg 22 of the Health Care Bill MANDATES the Govt will audit books of ALL EMPLOYERS that self-insure!!

Pg 30 Sec 123- THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get.

Pg 29 lines 4-16 - YOUR HEALTHCARE IS RATIONED!!!

Pg 42 - The “Health Choices Commissioner” will choose your HC Benefits for you. You have no choice!

Pg 50 Section 152- HC will be provided to ALL non-US citizens, illegal or otherwise.

Pg 58 - Govt will have real-time access to individual’s finances & a National ID Healthcard will be issued!

Pg 59 lines 21-24- Govt will have direct access to your bank accounts for electronic funds transfer

PG 65 Sec 164 is a payoff subsidized plan for retirees and their families in Unions & community organizations (ACORN).

Pg 72 Lines 8-14 Govt is creating an HC Exchange to bring private HC plans under Govt control.

Pg 84 Sec 203 - Govt mandates ALL benefit packages for private HC plans in the Exchange

Pg 85 Line 7 - Specs for Benefit Levels for Plans = The Govt will ration your Healthcare!

Pg 95 Lines 8-18 The Govt will use groups i.e., ACORN & Americorps to sign up individuals. for Govt HC plan.

Pg 85 Line 7 - Specs of Benefit Levels For Plans. #AARP members- Your Health care WILL be rationed

pg 124 lines 24-25 No company can sue GOVT on price fixing. No “judicial review” against Govt Monopoly.

pg 127 Lines 1-16- RE: Doctors- The Govt will tell YOU what you can make.

Pg 145 Line 15-17 An Employer MUST auto-enroll employees into public option plan. NO CHOICE

Pg 126 Lines 22-25 Employers MUST pay for HC for part time employees AND their families.

Pg 150 Lines 9-13- Biz w payroll between 251k & 400k who doesn’t provide pub. opt pays 2-6% tax on all payroll

Pg 170 Lines 1-3 Any NONRESIDENT Alien is EXEMPT from individual taxes. (Americans will pay)

Pg 195 -Officers & employees of HC Admin (GOVT) will have access to ALL Americans financial/personal records

Pg 203 Line 14-15- “The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax.” Yes, it actualy says that.

Pg 239 Line 14-24-Govt will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors, low income, poor will be affected. Expendable.

Pg 241 Line 6-8- Doctors, doesn’t matter what specialty you have, you’ll all be paid the same.

Pg 253 Line 10-18 Govt sets value of Dr’s time, professional judgment, etc. Literally sets the value of humans.

Pg 317 L 13-20- PROHIBITION on ownership/investment. Govt tells Drs. what/how much they can own.

Pg 425 Lines 4-12 Govt mandates “Advanced Care Planning Consultations.” The Federal Government will require EVERYONE who is on Social Security to undergo a counseling session every 5 years with the objective being that they will explain to them just how to end their own life earlier.

Pg 425 Lines 22-25, 426 Lines 1-3: Govt provides approved list of end of life resources, guiding you in death.

Pg 427 Lines 15-24: Govt mandates program for orders for end of life. The Govt has a say in how your life ends.

Pg 429 Lines 10-12: “advanced care consultation” may include an ORDER for end of life plans. AN ORDER from the Government.

Pg 429 Lines 13-25 - The govt will specify which Doctors can write an end of life order.

Pg 430 Lines 11-15- The Govt will decide what level of treatment you will have at end of life.

Pg 472 Lines 14-17: PAYMENT TO COMMUNITY-BASED ORG. monthly payment to a community-based org. Like ACORN?

Pg 489 Sec 1308: The Govt will cover Marriage & Family therapy. Which means they will insert Govt into your marriage.

Pg 494-498: Govt will cover Mental Health Services including defining, creating, rationing those services.”

PLEASE. Take the time. Look this over. It's bad. Very, very bad.

Tonight's the night...

it's time to suck down some suds, join hands, and learn from the man who's going to change the world.

This is our "teachable moment."

Since we're all open to learning from each other...I'm going to have my say.

When a police officer comes to your home. Doing his job...because he thinks there is a robbery in progress, no matter how obnoxious he might be...cooperate.

Trust me on this. I've had police officers act like complete idiots with me. I just had to pay bail at the police station because my dog licenses hadn't been renewed.

I was pissed. But I cooperated. The cops take way too much shit and they put their lives on the line every day. There are lots of cops who profile minorities. Unfortunately there are lots of criminals who will not hesitate to pull out a gun and shoot a police officer.

Everyone is skittish in these situations. This cop was not profiling. Someone saw two men (race irrelevant) breaking into a house. She did the right thing and called the police.

Gates should have thanked the police. Instead he got indignant and belligerent. Crowley did what he should have done. Why take a chance? I agree with Crowley's decision.

He didn't act stupidly. This wasn't a cocktail party. Gates was disorderly. Maybe HE learned a lesson from all this. But I doubt it.

Cheers.

What are you doing here?

You should be at Awkward Family Photos...it's so much more entertaining than this old blog.

Here's a preview...

What a cute idea! A possum in a Baby Bjorn! Precious.











I want to know what's going on in the bottom half of this photo!!




Oh how I love the internet. I could spend the entire day entertaining myself with this crap.

Life is good.

Jumping on the BlogHer Bandwagon...

I've been blogging for a couple of years now and every summer around this time the blog community starts buzzing about BlogHer.

The first year I knew about it the conference was held in San Francisco. This year, it was in Chicago. Since I live on the East Coast there was no way I could have gone...even if I wanted to.

As you know, blogging is a fun little side hobby for me, in addition to my tennis, facebook and twittering. If I had the opportunity to take a weekend trip, it would be to a tennis camp, or a weekend with my high school friends. My weekends away are few and far between, so I have to be choosy.

I've enjoyed reading blog posts about the conference and get a kick out of the stories about cliques and parties and fights over swag bags, but I never felt I was missing out, because there was no way I could travel half way across the country to attend.

Now, however, I have a dilemma. The 2010 BlogHer location was announced and it will be held right in my backyard...in the Big Apple! Yay!!! (I mean shit!)

Now I have a real problem. Apparently tickets sell out fast. Do I want to spend the money to register? Even for a local, they aren't that cheap. Will it be fun for a slacker blogger to hob knob with the the blogging pros? Who the heck will I hang out with?

More questions...should I go to the lectures and discussions, or just hit a few parties to meet some bloggers face to face?

If you are a BlogHer vet, help a rookie out! If you are one of my blog friends...do you want to go with me and form our own slacker blogger posse?

There's strength in numbers you know...

Don't make me go to the prom (I mean BlogHer) without a date...

I'll get you a corsage and sneak in a bottle of Boone's Farm if you come with me. I'll even make "Slacker Blogger Posse" t-shirts!

Whaddya think? Are you in?

Greetings from Asbury Park!

My sister, her husband and their children are visiting, so we decided to take a little drive to Asbury Park and stroll on the Asbury Park Boardwalk.

We used to go to the Palace Amusement Park as kids, so we thought we'd take a little trip down memory lane.

If you aren't familiar with Asbury Park, I'll give you the scoop.

Asbury Park has been a mess for years. Once magnificent buildings became rundown vacant eyesores due to corrupt politicians and the race riots in the 70's. Asbury was once a mecca for family summer vacations at the turn of the century, up till the 60's. Bruce Springsteen & John Bon Jovi got their start at The Stone Pony, a still famous nightclub for rock band venues.
Bruce & his friends have had some fundraisers to help support Asbury Park and help to gentrify the area and it is working. Developers came in and invested & they have some great community activists that really care. They have a large gay community that has really turned the town around. They bought up vacant stores and old buildings and have made them into chic, happening restaurants, antique stores and decorator shops. New luxury residences are going up and the once sad looking buildings are being restored back to their original beauty.

It was AMAZING!

Our first stop was The Beach Bar at the Convention Center. Totally chic, with a view of the beach and they didn't care that we had 5 rowdy kids with us. Perfect. After a margarita and some delicious chips with guacamole we proceeded to work our way down the boards.

We went to Candyteria...the Dylan's Candy Bar of Jersey.
Then we hopped over to Hot Sand Glass Blowing Studio to watch the glass blowers and check out the gorgeous ornaments and bowls. They even offer classes! I almost cried I was so excited. (Yeah, I know...pretty sad)







Finally, we went to Bodega Shoppe, the most BEAUTIFUL little shop ever. Everything in the store was absolutely delightful. They got a write up in Elle Magazine which called Bodega "a boutique that oozes with as much charm and taste as anything west of the Hudson really has a right to." (Ouch, quite a slam to NJ!)

My sister ended up buying some beautiful little items for her home. (Alas, I had no idea the treasures I would discover and left my wallet in the car!) I will return to Bodega Shoppe, WITHOUT the children once school is back in session.

Why am I writing about this? It's because I worked in New York City for years and lived right off South Street in Philadelphia in my early twenties. I THRIVED on the city. I loved hanging out in the West Village, hanging out in the local bars and cafes, shopping in unique little shops.

Now I live in suburbia, and while I love my town, I crave creativity and diversity. It's nice to know that when I need my cool fix, it's less than a 20 minute drive away.


Don't you love when you discover a treasure right in your own backyard?

Go Yearbook Yourself!

It's so much fun...check it out:

Do it, NOW and let me know when you do. We can have a contest to see who looks best with an afro!!

I'll do anything for product...

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but if you own a business and have a product you'd like me to promote here on my incredibly popular blog, let me know.

All you have to do is send me some of your wares and I'll put a nice little mention on my blog and an ad on my sidebar.

It's a win-win. I get free stuff and YOU get to reach out to an amazingly discerning group of readers who love to shop.

I hope Blogger doesn't crash from all the responses I'm sure to receive.

Act fast!! My sidebar is only so big...

If this is what his apartment looks like...

Can you imagine his teeth?!!!

I'm going to be sexist here and assume this is a man...

A friend of mine sent me this e-mail and I was completely flabbergasted!!

This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation inspection.

This is NOT hurricane damage - the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.

(This lead in made me laugh...what kind of hurricane causes an apartment to fill up with empty pizza boxes, cigarette butts and empty Big Gulp Cups!!)

Anyway, here are some of the pix.

Do you think this dude has a blog??? WTF?!

Check out his computer!!

















How about this kitchen? Surprisingly there is an iron that is actually plugged in. Do you think this person irons his clothes?!


If you want to see more pictures of the squalor click here.

This isn't fun...but it IS important...

President Obama is devoting most of his time and public appearances these days to one issue - reforming the nation's health care system. But concerns about the cost and scope of reform are growing among members of Congress and the general public and with very good reason.

Universal, government run Healthcare is just another program we do not need. Another government run, red-tape ridden, weaved with bureaucracy. Improved health care system, yes, ABSOLUTELY,but that's another story for another day. One fight at a time.

Please contact your Congressmen and women to state your position on this. Do it TODAY. Use the link below to access your representatives. This is vitally important.

If you do support Universal Healthcare, perhaps you can say NO for NOW - the legislation is being pushed way too fast for it to make sense and there's not enough time for representatives to read it! Let's take our time and do this the right way.

President Obama may have good intentions, and I agree that healthcare should be available to all Americans, but this experiment with America is a risk our country cannot afford.

It is too much, too fast, too soon.

http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW_by_State.shtml

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

You Have Been Warned...

It took every bit of my effort to get off Facebook and onto this blog to warn my fellow computer addicts.

Whatever you do...don't try Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. Not even once. That's all it takes to get hooked. And once you're addicted, your life will never EVER be the same.

I'm distracted, my muscles are stiff, my eyes are bloodshot, my thighs have burns from my hot laptop. Hours of time goes by without even realizing it.

There are people counting on me, but all I can think about is getting my next medal. I keep telling myself, "When I get to 25,000, I'll stop." But that day never comes.

When family members ask how long I've been playing, I tell them 10 minutes, when It's really been 3 hours.

I have bills to pay, a house to clean, children to feed and tennis matches to play. In addition to that, I have a very unpopular blog with low ratings that needs my attention.

But all I can do is sit like a zombie and try to match gems.

I know the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem. So there you have it. I admit it.

Please heed my warning. I care about you.

I've never been a very good example. The least I can do is be a horrible warning.

Stay away. Bejeweled Blitz is the devil in disguise.

It will steal your soul and ruin your life.

You have been warned.

Don't you hate it...

when you are lying in bed at night, on the verge of falling fast asleep, when all of a sudden an amazing blog post idea pops in your head.

You contemplate dragging your butt out of bed and over to the computer, but instead you fall peacefully asleep, vowing to write that amazing post in the morning.

The next day, you try to recall the incredible idea you had the night before, and it's gone. POOF. That fabulous, earth shattering idea, is gone with the wind.

Trust me, the thought I had last night would have rocked your world. It would have catapulted this blog out of obscurity. But I was too darn lazy to push myself.

I can only pray that another brilliant idea materializes tonight.

If it does, I'll be ready.

From now on, I'm sleeping with my laptop.

Carry on.

Some blogs offer advice...

But not mine. I use my blog to GET advice. Here's today's dilemma...

I try to stay in shape, play tennis a few times a week, and I wear a size 6, but after two c-sections and 44 years on this earth, my stomach needs a little "taming" when I wear clingy clothes.

I kept hearing about "Spanx" so I finally decided to suck it up, and buy some.

I went to Macy's and purchased two camis. One in beige and one in black. Being who I am, I promptly ripped the tags off them, threw the tags and receipt in the garbage and stuck the camis in my drawer. Why did I do that? Because I'm an impulsive idiot, that's why. But we'll deal with that issue later.

Anyway, about two weeks later I was wearing a clingy sundress and decided to pull those costly undergarments and put them on. Let me tell you, I HATED them. I got a size medium, which you'd think would fit, but they ROLL UP every time I put them on.

Right where they are supposed to be sucking me in. I'm so bummed.

Have any of you experienced "Spanx Malfunction?"

If so, are there any other brands of body shapers you could recommend to this gut gainer?

Whatever you do, don't tell me to start doing crunches, because this tennis lover does not go there. EVER.

I anxiously await your reply.

Minding my Manners

One thing I DO know, always remove your white glove before you pick your nose!

I have an etiquette question.

I've checked out all the major etiquette websites, including Emily Post and Etiquette Hell, and I cannot find an official answer.

Here goes:

When sitting at a table with other people at a restaurant, or social function, and someone approaches your table to chat, do you stand to speak with them, or remain seated and allow the person who is standing to remain standing while you remain seated, and hold your conversation?

I'll admit. I'm stumped.

I know my readers are people with the utmost class and decorum, so I'm sure you can help me out!!

Please advise!!

(And while you're at it, I know the grammar in this post is atrocious, so if any of you would like to proofread this, and correct my grammar, I will be forever in your debt.)

Natural & Organic Love Affair...

I won't be at the computer for the next couple of days. My brother in law and his lovely girlfriend will be paying us a visit from the West Coast, so I will be busy frolicking and showing them a good time, "Jersey Style."

Before I log off I must mention my newest love.

Whole Foods

I am really into Whole Foods and intend on spending lots of time and money there this summer.

I love everything about that place. The jewelry made from aluminum pop tops, the amazing selection of Tazo teas, the all natural cleaning products, the crunchy employees.

Who needs camp for the kids? We can spend hours each day exploring the aisles of Whole Foods!!

We might need to take a second mortgage out on the house to afford all the herbal shampoo, eucalyptus and lavender laundry detergent, and organic mahi mahi burgers, I intend to purchase, but damn it...it's so worth it!

Which brings me to my newest blog commenter. Organic Meatbag. Doesn't that sound like something you could buy at Whole Foods? Check out his blog. Totally irreverent and not for the faint of heart. But hilarious.

Catch you all in a couple of days.

An almost perfect weekend...

First of all, I'd like to thank those of you who got your reports in before the deadline. It looks like I won't get fined by the U.S. Blog Commission. It's a huge relief, so I appreciate your cooperation.

I had such an amazing weekend. We took a trip down to Maryland to visit my sisters and to see my parents. Perfect weather, the kids had a ball, no traffic on the way back. Awesome.

Tonight my neighbor had a luau on the beach for her daughter. There was a gorgeous breeze off the ocean, the kids were doing limbo and the adults were enjoying some nice conversation.

That's when things went horribly wrong. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my very opinionated neighbor approaching me with a determined look on her face. I don't know how it happened, but somehow, she managed to engage me in a political discussion. DAMN.

I REALLY didn't want to go there. Especially since she and I don't agree on much. It was so unpleasant to listen to her drone on and on about how the United States is so arrogant, and how Dick Cheney is evil, and how everyone in England hated her because she was an American. I was really tempted to tell her that they didn't hate her just because she was from the U.S.

But I didn't. I made a valiant attempt to sidestep the conversation. When I realized that I was stuck in the debate, I made some very good points that actually got her to stop talking for 2 seconds and politely asked her husband to stop referring to anyone who doesn't agree with him as a "CONSERVATIVE." I wasn't referring to him as a "LIBERAL" so I wanted the same respect.

I'm not going to get into detail, but I'll tell you that I really resent being told at a 6 year old's birthday party on a Sunday night, that people are JUSTIFIED for killing Americans because we are so ignorant, selfish, and arrogant. What an obnoxious generalization!

I wanted to tell her is to save her speeches for book club, or a call in talk show, or maybe to go to the next "Tea Party" in her area and scream it at those "RED NECK FOOT STOMPING REPUBLICANS."

Don't corner me at the sand art table, it's neither the time, or the place for such talk. I love a good political discussion, and not just with people who agree with me. Lots of my friends do not share my beliefs, but we can still manage to respect each other's opinions take turns speaking. When we have these types of debates we try not to generalize or assume that we know what other people think based solely on their political affiliation. Listening is a beautiful thing, and no matter how smart you think you are, you can always learn something by shutting your mouth, for a second, and letting someone else have a turn.

I'll tell you this, dear neighbor. You are annoying. It's not because you're a liberal. (Do you like when I call you that?) It's because you're a loud mouth, know it all, pain in my ass. My mother is a liberal and she is one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Oh, and one more thing, neighbor. Please don't sue me for writing this. I know you like to keep your lawyers busy serving papers to anyone who "wrongs" you. You can't prove this is about you, so no judge would convict me.

Good night, and God bless.

Reminder...your reports are due by Sunday at 6 PM

I am going out of town for a couple of days. (In case your wondering, I am going to Maryland to visit with my family.)

Thanks to all of you who have commented on my Google Analytics post. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any specific numbers. I'm writing a report for the US Blog Commission, that's due on Tuesday, so I really need the numbers by Sunday at 6. If I don't turn the report in on time the Commission charges me a huge fine, so I appreciate your assistance.

What I'll need is the number of visits and number of page views for the past 6 months. If you have ads on your site I'll need the amount of money you make each month off yours. I can tell you right now. I don't make squat.

I have to tell you that I'm happy to hear that my drop in the ratings is not due to my lame content, and is probably due to some screw up on the Google servers.

I was feeling like I needed to try harder and write some insightful, clever posts.

Thanks goodness I can stick with my usual schlock.

Have a great weekend, and I look forward to reading your reports.

My blog has fallen...

And it can't get up!!!

I just took a little cruise over to Google Analytics and the numbers are not looking good.

The economy has tanked, and so has my blog traffic. It's down 39% in the past month. Shameful!

Here are the numbers:



In the past months I've had:


3,064 visits
4,113 page views

I'm not motivated enough to report my former stats, but let's just say, they were a HELL of alot higher than this a few months ago.

There you go, I told you my deepest darkest blog secret. Is that tacky? I'm not sure what the etiquette is on this one. Is it rude to ask someone to reveal their blog stats? Is it as tasteless as asking someone how much they make a year, or how much they weigh?


Maybe I'm tacky, but I'm going to put it out there.

Let's share numbers.

What do yours look like?

Are my numbers "normal" or should I be mortified?

Is your blog thriving, or tanking?

This might be just the wake up call I need to put a little more effort into my little blog.

Oh, and yes, I know this picture is in poor taste. Get over it.

Caffeine Court Productions

I've decided that I want to be a television producer.

The first show I'm pitching to the networks is called "Project Cougar."

The premise of the show is regular housewives get made over to be hot mamas.

It's not too extreme. Just small implants (if necessary), workouts with a trainer, a little Botox and Restylane, perhaps a nose job and chin lipo.

We'll also throw in waxing and spray tanning.

Our participants will also receive total hair and makeup overhauls with top beauty professionals. Oh, and of course all the ladies will receive brand new, super hot wardrobe makeovers.

I will be appearing on the first episode and will have each and every one of the procedures listed above.

If you'd like to go on the show, please let me know, and I'll e-mail you an application.

All participants must travel to the New York area for their makeover.

This TV producer gig has to fit in with my children's schedule, so I can't be inconvenienced by travel. You need to come to me.

I'm thrilled that I finally found a career, so don't you go shattering my dream by telling me this has already been done a million times in magazines and on other TV shows. I don't want to hear any negativity. All the great ones were told their dreams could never come to reality. This is my passion, my life's work, and I'm GOING TO make it happen.

(Anonymous...are you out there? Are you just DYING to call me an idiot. C'mon. Do it...I dare you!!! My e-mail address is on the sidebar. I'll be waiting to hear from you.)

Goodbye Michael

I haven't commented on the death of Michael Jackson, but I got a chance to watch some of his memorial service today, and I was really touched.

It was sad to see such a mix of genius and sadness. I was particularly struck by Brooke Shields' tribute and Jermaine Jackson's rendition of the song "Smile."

Of course, the most heartbreaking moment was when Michael's daughter Paris expressed her love for her father.

He was indeed an strange man, but his music was awesome and a huge part of my life when I was growing up.

I hope he has found the peace and happiness eluded him in his life.

Goodbye Michael

My first bout with the flu...

Hope everyone had a fun 4th.

We did, despite the fact that I felt like HELL!

Thursday and Friday I was having "stomach issues" but I still managed to go to the boardwalk, and the beach and to the fireworks.

Saturday I started to feel an exhaustion unlike any I've ever experienced. In addition to the extreme fatique, my body HURT. Every muscle and joint ached. But we had company that we invited to the beach for fireworks, so I soldiered on, preparing food (contaminated I'm sure), and lugging it to the beach. I hung out and chatted, jammed out with the DJ and smiled, while I felt like I was going to drop dead.

By Sunday I was a zombie. I couldn't even lift my left arm. This is how bad it was....it was SO bad, that I could only watch the last set of the Federer-Roddick final at Wimbledon. Does that put it into perspective?

At around 5 pm, I managed to google my symptoms.

I was convinced had either Lyme disease, swine flu, fibromyalgia, or Epstein Barr.

And then, like a miracle, I awoke this morning and sprung from my bed. feeling like a human being.

It was a beautiful thing.

The only bright side, of getting so sick is that I completely appreciate how great it is to feel healthy, and have energy.

Being sick sucks.

Would you like a piece of this?

It's funny that some commenter calling me an idiot got me all fired up. I'm finding that as I get older little things can trigger my rage. Last night someone in my neighborhood shot a firework off and it hit my house. You should have seen me with my big flashlight running around my front yard. What made it even funnier is that I saw my neighbor scurry into his house and flick off his lights when he saw me in hot pursuit of the firework culprit.

I never really know how I'm going to react to things. Sometimes someone hitting my house with a firework would roll right off my back. Same thing with some bored, nasty, person calling me an idiot. It really depends on the time of the month.

Which brings me to the picture.

Looks delicious. Nothing better than a big slice of sugary, creamy, uterus. What do you think of this hysterectomy cake? I think its hysterical.

Picture courtesy of "Cake Wrecks." A very original and funny blog.

Go check it out. Do it. I'm in a mood, and if you don't I might get all pissy on you, and nobody wants that.

I'm calling you out...

If you read the comments from my last post you'll see that some anonymous reader thinks I'm an idiot.

That's fair. We're all entitled to our opinions. My only problem with this person is the fact that he or she is a COWARD and can only call me an idiot behind the mask of ANONYMOUS.

Since I am believe so strongly in freedom of speech, I will express my opinion of ANONYMOUS. Only I won't hide. You know who I am. My picture is in the sidebar.

I think you are a lame, hostile, wimp who is afraid to call me an idiot to my virtual face.

I have disabled anonymous comments for the time being.

So come on out anonymous.

I love a good debate. Let's go toe to toe, in the ring, with our gloves off.

Bring it on.

My blog has been kind of lame lately, and this kind of thing is just the ticket to livening things up.

Thank you in advance.

Get a job!

Once again, my husband is asking me if my resume is updated so I can find a job once school is back in session.

I've had a few suggestions for jobs that might be suitable for me including teaching or real estate. Both are very noble professions, but I don't know if they really fit my "skill set."

I've been deliberating and I've come up with some jobs I would love.

1. Tennis pro

Who plays in over 40 tournaments while the girls are at school and brings in huge amounts of prize money...(yeah, yeah, I know I have to WIN to get prize money...but that's a small technicality) I could also endorse products like Ben Gay and Midol.

2. Person who drives around in a golf cart at a golf course and sells drinks and snacks.

(Only if it pays over 50 grand a year.)

3. Character actress.

(Who does one film a year, in the summer, and can bring my children to the set so they can travel the world and see lots of exotic locales.)

4. Blogger.

(With ads that bring in huge amounts of revenue.)

Those, my friends, are my kind of jobs.

If you know of anyone that's hiring, drop me an e-mail.

Make sure you specify which position so I can doctor my resume.

I'm playing a little game tonight...

It's called,

"How much Facebook, Twitter, blogging, ice cream eating and Wimbledon watching can a middle aged New Jersey Housewife partake in, before her body and brain turn to mush?"

I've been at it for a few hours, and I'm not done yet. Maybe I can find a way to raise some money for charity whilst I fritter my life away.

Let's see...okay, I've got it.

I'm looking for sponsors. If you would like to donate a dollar for every hour I keep this up, I will donate the money to a worthy cause If I'm going to be a sloth, the least I can do is parlay my laziness into a way to help others.

Let me know if you'd like to help, and I'll let you know where to send your check (preferably made out to CASH!)

Now I'm going to hop back over to Facebook to take another stupid quiz.

Catch y'all later.