6.29.2008

Tennis Tuesday Two Days Early-Quotes From My Team Captain




When she lost a singles match..."She doesn't fuckin' belong on the court with me."

When she played doubles with her poor husband...(a beginner) "I hate bad tennis."

When she played against an Asian woman..."She plays that Chinese 'chop-chop' tennis."

When her best friend lost to a 60 year old woman ..."She's no good. She plays old lady tennis." (Hey she won didn't she??)

Working on the lineup for a match against a rival team..."She's going to shit her pants when she sees me come on the court."

When a doubles team lost in a big match..."What happened out there? Did you suck?"

After she ripped off her tennis tank and ran around in a sports bra after a big match..."Did you see that-I was slamming it...I had ORGASMS!"
You can't make this stuff up!


21 comments:

Mrs. K said...

holy shit- she thinks very highly of herself doesn't she!?! what level is she!? that woman is something else! she must think she belongs in wimbledon-poor sap.

my captain i think is like 99- ok maybe 70-something- she plays in the lower ladder part of it but can place every single damn ball.

Stella said...

That last one was totally priceless! OH. MY. GOD.
Too funny!

scargosun said...

Wow! She is insane. We are going to see her on the news someday aren't we?

jenn said...

O.M.G. What a bitch! HOW do you keep a straight face when she comes out with this crap???

M.A. said...

Oh goodness-- especially the "Chinese" comment--- not cool!! But she sounds like she will always provide stories to tell, at the very least!

Feener said...

NOOOOOOO
NO
NO
say it ain't so.
you need to tell me where she lives and i will egg her house
that is disgusting

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Orgasms?
Ewww. Class act!

P said...

I can honestly say that we do have drama on the court, of course; but nobody that disgusting!

A Buns Life said...

Wow. I would have a hard time not laughing out loud each time she opened her mouth. class act. Maybe I'm just jealous because I only hit tennis balls with my 5 year old son in the street in front of our house....wouldn't want to take up any court time for the real players. :)

The 5 Bickies said...

Please tell me you are kidding!
I know that you wouldn't kid about something so crazy...just can't make it up! And she's the team captain!?!?

linda said...

OMG! You have a screenplay just waiting to be written!

Lane Boyz Mom said...

Oh My Gosh....WOWZERS! LOL

My friend did play one team that when her and her partner lost, she sat on the bench and cried. It was her first and only loss this season, and boy, she took it hard. LOL

What about the one we hear often tho...."LOBBING IS NOT TENNIS"...hell, in my book, and my tennis pro's book, if it wins ME the point, it's tennis;) LOL

Shelby said...

Freaking hilarious! That's great!

LunaNik said...

two words...YOU TUBE

You have to record this woman. This just BEGS to be viewed by hundreds of thousands of viewers worldwide!!

sltbee69 said...

Wow. Just wow. She is really full of herself, isn't she. Sounds like she needs to be taken down a notch or two. I agree with Lunanik - YOU TUBE.

Belle in Bloom said...

Wow. That's a lot of confidence.

Jules said...

DUDE! That lady is a nut!!!!
LOL

The wife said...

Are you flippin' kidding me?!! This lady seems to be all kinds of CR-A-ZY! I would have to sport some depends on around her, because I would definitely wet my pants watching/listening to her.

Far From Perfect said...

this woman has some issues don't you think. she'll end up burning too many bridges and won't have a team any more.

Jaina said...

She is a scary woman...I don't think I want to meet her. Ever.

Happy Homemaker said...

WOW! She sounds like she's on drugs.

All I can visualize is some Saturday Night Live skit... the person was so hyped up on steroids or something??

 
Website Content and Copy: Caffeine Court, 2007-8.|Blog Design by JudithShakes Designs.