1.13.2010

Cleaning out the files...

As I cleaned out my filing cabinets this morning, I happened upon a little file of essays I wrote in my twenties. Most of them are kind of long, so I'll do them in installments.

The first one is all about the joys of dating. I'll take you back...the year, 1993. I was a 28 year old single gal...dating in the New York City. Here we go...

Last Saturday night I had my third date with Greg...and his best friend Brian. On the first two dates we doubled with Brian and his girlfriend, tonight we were joined by 20 of their loudest and most obnoxious friends, crammed into a small table in an Italian Restaurant in Hell's Kitchen.

As I sat surrounded by the sound of tambourines crashing in my ears, glasses breaking at my feet and water spilling in my lap, I envisioned a better case scenario. I conjured up an image of Greg and I sitting, just the two of us, in a quiet little place, enjoying a meal and talking.

What was I? Delusional? Who the heck did I think I was? The Queen of England? Such lofty ideals!! I silently sat, guzzling Chianti in an attempt to lighten up, while my escort and his buddy leaned over me telling jokes about the "hard on jocks" they hated in high school and passing each other silly notes with funny nicknames about their slacker roommate. Oh what fun they had!!

I wanted to have fun too, so I attempted to chat with my date, I even tried bringing up his favorite subject...HIM. He was too busy drawing pictures of penises with bullets exploding out of the tip on the butcher paper covering the table.

I was proud to know that I was lucky enough to be associated with the guys who drew phallii on car windshields all over town right after every fresh snowfall. How creative!!! Oh and how they laughed and slapped their knees each time they did it. Such funny guys!

Greg was clever enough to draw for me his rendition of a woman on her back with her legs spread. What a multi talented guy. Unlike me..."best friends girlfriend" was having a wonderful time. She was very impressed with Greg's artwork and complimented him on his ability to draw such a life like and detailed penis.

To be continued...

Oh and just so you don't think I'm totally nuts for going out with this dude, he looked fine on first inspection...good looking, great job, kind of funny, so I gave him a chance...three dates...after all, who am I to judge anyone too harshly? ;)


5 comments:

Mama Wheaton said...

It is hard to judge a book by its cover or for that matter sometimes even the inside flap can be deceiving.

Lori said...

EW! I can't wait to hear part 2. I kinda wish I would have written essays on my earlier dating experiences. Um, on second thought, I"ll just read yours. They've GOT to be more interesting.

HouseMama said...

I'm in....can't wait to hear about the END of this date. I don't know if it could get any worse.

Jaina said...

Wow, that's crazy. Lol

Bossy Betty said...

I am so glad you wrote this down! Waiting for another installment!

 
Website Content and Copy: Caffeine Court, 2007-8.|Blog Design by JudithShakes Designs.