Aunt Flo

Warning: If you are a man...stop reading now. You have been warned.

My Aunt Flo is visiting, and quite frankly I can't stand the bitch. Especially the first two days of her visit.

I'm seriously considering ablation. My husband and I were discussing my feminine issues, and we both decided that 2-3 days a month is way to much for BOTH of us to suffer.

In the meantime, I was looking up some homeopathic remedies, until I can see the doc.

Now here's my question...since I have almost ALL these symptoms, do I buy ALL the remedies? (Symptoms in bold and italic are especially problematic for yours truly...)

Bovista: Premenstrual problems with puffiness in the extremities, fluid retention, and a bloated feeling often indicate a need for this remedy. The woman may feel very awkward and clumsy, and may constantly be dropping things because of swollen-feeling hands. Diarrhea occurring around the time of the menstrual period strongly indicates this remedy.

Calcarea carbonica: PMS with fatigue, anxiety, and suggest a need for this remedy. The woman may have problems with water-retention and weight gain, tender breasts, digestive upsets, and headaches. Periods often come too early and last too long, sometimes with a flow of bright red blood. A general feeling of chilliness, with clammy hands and feet, and a feeling of being overwhelmed cravings for sweets and eggs are other indications for Calcarea.

Caulophyllum: This remedy is often helpful to women with a history of irregular periods, difficulty becoming pregnant, or slow childbirth due to weak muscle tone of the uterus. Symptoms include discomfort during periods and a heavy flow of blood or other discharge. Drawing pains may be felt in the pelvic region, thighs, and legs. Stiffness or arthritis, especially in the finger-joints, often is seen when this remedy is needed.

Chamomilla: A woman likely to respond to this remedy is angry, irritable, and hypersensitive to pain. Cramping may come on, or be intensified, because of emotional upset. Flow can be very heavy, and the blood may look dark or clotted. Problems are often worse at night. Heating pads or exposure to wind may aggravate the symptoms, and motion (such as rocking or brisk walking) may help to reduce the tension and discomfort.

Cimicifuga (also called Actaea Racemosa): This remedy can be helpful for irregular and painful periods, with shooting pains that go down the hips and thighs, or cramps similar to labor-pains that are felt in the pelvic area. Headache with pain and stiffness in the neck and back will often occur with PMS. The woman is likely to be intense and talkative, becoming agitated, fearful, and depressed before a menstrual period.

Kreosotum: Headache, nausea, and a heavy flow that makes the genitals and surrounding skin feel irritated and swollen are indications for this remedy. Kreosotum is often indicated for women with PMS who feel irritable and uncomfortable, and have a strong dislike of sexual activity.

Lachesis: Women who need this remedy are usually intense, with a tremendous need for an outlet, both physically and mentally. Symptoms of PMS include congestion, headaches, flushing, surges of heat, and an intense outspoken irritability—often with strong feelings of suspicion or jealousy. When the flow arrives, it may be heavy, but brings relief of tension. Intolerance of restrictive clothing around the waist or neck is another indication for Lachesis.

Lilium tigrinum: This remedy may be helpful if a woman is inclined toward rage during PMS, makes other people “walk on eggs,” and is extremely sensitive and irritable. Pressure in the rectum and in the pelvic region, with a sensation that the uterus is pushing out, may make her feel a frequent need to sit or cross her legs. Emotions and excitement aggravate the symptoms, and fresh air will often bring relief.

Lycopodium: PMS with a craving for sweets and a ravenous appetite (sometimes a bulimic tendency) suggests a need for this remedy. Digestive upsets with abdominal bloating and flatulence are often seen, with the person feeling worst in the late afternoon and evening. Menstrual periods may be delayed, followed by a heavy flow that goes on for extra days. A woman who needs this remedy often wears a worried look and lacks self-confidence—although she may be irritable and bossy to pets and family members. A desire to be alone, but with someone in the other room, is another indication for Lycopodium.

Nux vomica: When a woman with PMS is extremely this remedy may be of use. Uncomfortable, irregular menstrual periods can be experienced, often with a nagging urge to move the bowels before the flow begins. Constipation is common, and constricting pains may extend to the rectum or tailbone region. Anger, mental strain, physical exertion, and impatient, pushy, and intolerant,overindulgence in coffee, alcohol, or food can aggravate the problems. The woman often feels chilly and improves from warmth and rest.

Sepia: A woman who needs this remedy with PMS feels weary and dragged-out, wanting others (especially family members) to keep their distance. She often feels taken for granted and overworked, becoming irritable or sarcastic if demands are made. Late periods or scanty flow with a feeling that the pelvic floor is weak, or as if the uterus is sagging, often indicates a need for Sepia. Dampness and perspiring may aggravate the symptoms. Warmth and exercise, especially dancing, often restore some energy and brighten up the her mood.

Veratrum album: Menstrual periods with very heavy flow and cramping, with a feeling of exhaustion and icy coldness suggest a need for this remedy. Vomiting and diarrhea are often seen. Periods may start too early and go on too long. The woman feels worse at night, from exercise, and from drinking things that are warm. Cold drinks, small meals, and wrapping up in warm clothes or covers may help to bring improvement.

Okay, so let's go over what my loved ones and myself deal with 20-30 days a year.

I feel overwhelmed with strong cravings for sweets. I am angry and irritable with a heavy flow of blood. I am agitated, fearful, and depressed, with a headache and backache. I am intensely outspoken with an inclination towards rage. I am bossy towards pets and family members. I have a strong desire to be alone. I am impatient, pushy, and intolerant,and overindulgent in coffee (and Diet Coke.) I feel taken for granted and overworked, becoming irritable or sarcastic if demands are made. I also experience cramping diarrhea and exhaustion.
If you're a man, and you read all this...would you kill me or what?! No court would convict you.

If you're a woman, can you relate?

I think I'll go mix me up a Midol cocktail, with a side of Valium. Come to think of it, I'll mix up a pitcher for the whole family.


Jaina said...

Ugh, that's not fun. I hope you find something that helps soon. I wish I had suggestions to share.

Anonymous said...

See, this is one argument for legalization of marijuana!! Just think of how mellow and relaxed you could be.... not that I would know... just read some research. ;-)

Anonymous said...

i knew flo was coming....i always know

Anonymous said...

i can't remember my password

suburban prep said...

I was always dreading that time. Then I got a DVT (deep vein thrombosis). I was on coumadin (blood thinners) for 2 1/2 yrs. I hemorrhaged and well it was a 30 day visit. Talk about being tired. I lost more blood than my sister who was going through treatment for cancer at the same time. My gyno put me on Bio-Identical progesterone called prometrium. I was hesitant to do it but I have been on since 2002. It keeps the symptoms to a minimum and as you age you lose progesterone and it has helped.
Before I was put on this one of the things that I did was drink Chai tea like it was going out of style. The spices in it help.
I have been knocked out because of the pain before that as well.
I hope that you are able to find some relief soon.

Kel said...

I think you just summed me up and...it doesn't look pretty! :(

Karen said...

It is the worst! I hate when she is in town. I am currently taking the Seasoneque so that I only get it 2 times a year. (My doctor said I could double up and not do the 4 times a years).

The problem for me is that I am a paranoid freak and I constantly think I might get pregnant and be unaware like those women on TV and such. So I balance the psychological torture of a potential unknown pregnancy against the benefit of only flowing twice a year.

Jillian, Inc said...

Gosh, you poor thing. Ask you Dr. for a B12 shot - that should help a lot of the symptoms. I get one every couple of months and I take B6 caps every day.

jenn said...

Me. Too. And it's been getting worse the last three or so years.

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

I think you wrote this post just for me. I keep thinking about having ablation too. I am so sick of dealing with this and I'm having them every two weeks now. I used to get some sympathy at home but those years are over. Men should have to have them for one year, the big babies! Guess you can tell I sooo relate, huh!

Constant Frivolity said...

I just turned 40 and had an ablation 4 years ago.


I cannot stress this enough. You should really consider it. It was a very easy procedure, I was fine by the afternoon, and have not had a period since. The freedom is incredible!

preppyplayer said...

Not a fun time...
thought i'd suggest that some of what you are sharing could be Madame Peri- Menopause rather than Aunt Flo.
Madame is worse than your Auntie as she comes and goes and you don't realize she is there until halfway thru her visit.
No one likes her either.
She can be around for about ten years!

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