4.02.2009

So New Jersey...


...in a stereotypical way.

Here's my story. There is a little enclave of mafia families here in my town. I don't hobnob with them because most of their kids go to private schools.

Anyway, there is one guy who is especially notorious. He lives in a big stone mansion on the water with huge wrought iron gates up front. Right now he is under house arrest for a huge fuel oil scam he masterminded. He's wearing a monitor on his ankle.

Today I was driving by his house and I saw him for the first time!! It was classic. Pauly Walnuts hair, Tony Soprano build and wardrobe, straight out of central casting. Our eyes locked as I drove by and I got a little scared. I hope he doesn't whack me!!! ;0

Last year I worked as a volunteer for a local "Kitchen Tour" and I was stationed at a mafia house. This house did not have a speck of cedar shake, wainscoting or chintz. We're talking marble counter tops, statues and velvet.

I hung out with the "kitchen designer to the mob." His portfolio read like a who's who in waste management. He had about 200 "cousins" drop in, who didn't have tickets for the tour, but wanted to see the kitchen he designed. All the men were wearing gold chains and sweats and all the ladies had big hair, high heels and tight jeans. CLASSIC!!!

Lucky for me this little group is a small minority in my town, but they DO exist. Trust me. I've seen them up close.

I will conclude this post with another of my short films entitled..."Buddy Enjoying Peanut Butter." If you close your eyes and listen to the audio, it's kind of perverted!!!



Buddy enjoying peanut butter.... on 12seconds.tv


8 comments:

Jaina said...

That's actually kinda scary.

Jaina said...

...the story, not the dog ;)

♥georgie♥ said...

WOW!!!
I just heard on the news aka chelsea handler that jersey outlawed brazillion waxes...I know unrelated to your post sorry my minds wandering today lol

Tara R. said...

Kinda makes me glad I live in a small town... but there are probably mafia types here too, only in witness protection.

Mrs. D said...

I would be wary to even talk about them. It's weird to think that really IS real life to some.

simplynotso said...

is that dog abuse?

Tickled Pink And Green said...

Hope they aren't reading your blog and seeing how you're poking fun at them! (ha ha)...

While I was watching Buddy? lick that spoon my two pugs were perking up their ears listening. They know another pug when they hear one!

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

Oh buddy! ha.

 
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