10.01.2008

The Reckless Worshipper

We're back from our romantic getaway.  It was really fun, and maybe, if I feel like it, I'll tell you some of the details.


But first, I have to tell you about this absolute IDIOT I came across this morning.

My mother and I were in the car and the road we were driving on merged from two lanes into one.  As I was merging from the right lane I saw a bicyclist riding in front of me.  (He was also merging.)  As I went to move into the single lane a woman in an Audi convertible comes ZOOMING up behind me.  She gets right on my tail and starts pushing me towards the right, nearly running me off the road and into the man on his bicycle.  She speeds past me and flips me the bird.  

Needless to say I was pissed.  Normally I would be annoyed and let it go, but this time I decided to teach this bitch a lesson.  Why this time?  Because right now I am highly sensitive to the safety of people on bikes.

1.  A friend of the family was involved in a serious bike accident in August.  Apparently a woman was in a rush and turned right in front of his bike.  His bike hit her car and he severed his spinal cord.  Because someone was in a big rush, he is paralyzed from the waist down.  This man has two young daughters and is now in a rehab center trying to piece his life back together. It didn't have to happen.

2.  Two weeks ago, my daughters and I saw a teenage boy who was hit by a car on his bike.  I can't even begin to describe what we saw.  It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.  I called the emergency room to ask whether or not he survived, they couldn't tell me.  Based on what I saw,  I have a feeling he didn't make it.

Okay, so now you know why I was really pissed.  I decided to follow her to her destination and give her a little lesson in driver's ed.  It was hard to keep up with her, she was speeding down the road going about 55 in a 40 mph zone.  I prayed a cop would pull her over...no such luck.

Finally she turned into a church parking lot.  The same church I go to when I get motivated to get up early on Sunday!

I pulled up next to her hot little car and let me tell you, this chick was a real MONET.  From far away, she looked pretty good, long blond hair, expensive sunglasses, nice jewelry, up close she was scary.  She was about 60 years old and it looked like she had gone under the knife one too many times.

I rolled down my window and addressed her..."You were on your way to CHURCH when you gave me the finger!!!???  I asked.  "I didn't' give you the finger," she replied, "I gave you the thumbs up!"  Hmm, I must need to get my eyes examined, and my mother too.  It appeared to us that it was not her thumb that was sticking up, but I've been wrong before.  Let's assume it was indeed her thumb.

"Do you always give people the thumbs up when you cut them off? You almost ran me off the road!  Did you see the man on the bicycle?  I could have hit him!"  I continued.  She wasn't backing down, "You need to go the speed limit!"  (Apparently it's her job to teach people a lesson if they aren't driving at least 10 mph over the speed limit.)

At this point I decided to get official, "I go to this church ma'am...what is your name?"  This really sent her over the edge, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!"  She bellowed.

This was going nowhere fast.  My parting words..."You'd better slow down before you kill someone, oh and by the way, don't get anymore face lifts!"

I think I got my point across.  Maybe I'll go to church this Sunday and sit next to her during services.  When it comes time to give each other the sign of peace I'll give her the thumbs up, just like she gave me.


37 comments:

P said...

Whoa! You've got balls! I bow down to you!!!! See .... this is me.... bowing down!!!!

The Chic Chauffeur said...

2 thumbs up to you! way to go!!!!!

Brie said...

2 enthusiastic thumbs up to you. I would never personally have the guts but I do admire it when I see it!

Lane Boyz Mom said...

OMG You go girl!! You sound like my husband, he has also "chased" someone into a church parking lot, LOL

And OMG....thumbs up!??! Yeah freaking right!!!

And gotta love your last words;)

The wife said...

Have I told you lately that I love you!? You crack me up!!!

Petunia said...

Aaaahahahahaha! Woohoo! Good for you! I have felt like doing that MANY a time as careless drivers are one of my BIGGEST pet peeves! But then it is usually a redneck in a truck or someone with tinted windows listening to loud rap music and I don't want to lose my life over it!!

linda said...

Good for you! You are an angel for doing that!!!

A boy in our neighborhood was hit while biking by a speeding mom...he has a stent in his heart and is in a medically induced coma.....

Melissa said...

Wow! I give you a lot of credit for being that gutsy!

Mrs. K said...

and don't get any more face lifts?? LOVE IT!!!!! It must be the Taurus- i did something similar recently- except I cut her off again, blocked her at the entrance (she lived in my development) got out of the car (only because she was like 80) and asked her if she was aware she almost sent an 8yr old and her mother to the hospital just seconds before...her response? oh I never saw you...I took her license plate down and then told her- i was reporting her ass to DMV to get her license taken away. HMPH

Tammy said...

Wow! I could never do that...I would be so nervous about doing that. Way to go. I agree about cars...slow down and watch out for bikers and runners. I felt some wind last week from a car zooming by me...and I was so far over on the road I was practically in the grass section.

A Buns Life said...

God does crazy things to get people to go to church these days doesn't he? :) You sure do have some "tennis balls" there girl! Good for you!

MsMVNJ said...

You GO Girl...Two Thumbs Up - Real thumbs up!!!

Feener said...

what a freaking idiot. glad you gave it to her, and i am so sorry to hear about the bike accidents. how horrible.

Mrs.D said...

You sound EXACTLY like my sister. lol!!! I don't have near the balls to do that, but you both do. She does this kind of thing on a regular basis. I admire it. Way to go. Love the last line you gave her! Thanks for the laugh.

simplynotso said...

It must run in the family, I am known for chasing people down. Most of the idiots were men so it probably was not the safest thing to do. Especially nine months pregnant! Loved the last line, you are so quick. Nanny probably loved it!!!

Jaina said...

Dang, I would never have the nerve to follow someone, and I've had plenty of people who deserved to be yelled at. I just mutter under my breath. I'm glad it all turned out okay.

Tickled Pink And Green said...

LOL that's hilarious!

Mossback Meadow said...

Good for you. You must have been really fired up. We live on a country road that's 45 mph ( and my kids ride their bikes on this road!) and people regularly go 60+. It just burns me up. If one of them is behind me, I scootch to the center of the road and go 40.

Mom on the Run said...

I just saw somebody almost take out a cyclist two days ago...and it was an older woman, too. I don't know if they're clueless, stupid, or just blind.

It was scary.

La Petite Redhead said...

You did what I've always wanted to do!! I see people driving like that every day, from the teenage drivers that go to my son's school to the old fogies I see on my commute to work.

Some people just don't get it!

Mom x 2 said...

I've only recently started reading your blog but now I think I'm in love!

I recently did the exact same thing. This summer I was driving on a city street - the same city street where 3 years ago an elderly couple was hit and killed after they had just purchased their 60th wedding anniversary cake! This woman comes up behind me and PASSES me. The speed limit is 25 and I was going 25 because cops sit there a lot with radar. So I followed her and she was going to the hospital. I followed her into the parking garage and waited until she got out (with flowers) and gave her a piece of my mind. She told me I needed to go the speed limit. I told her people have been killed there before - she didn't seem to care. I was shaking I was so furious. I called my husband from my cell phone and told him I needed to go back on my meds. :-)

georgie said...

Welcome Back! I missed seeing updates in my blogger stalker form thangy...and WOW you go girl!!!

sltbee69 said...

That is awesome! I think I'd report her to the church pastor too just for extra spite. I've wanted to do that many a time but around my parts, only if you want to take your life into your own hands, do you do that.

jenn said...

You GO, girl! A colleage of mine, who was eco-friendly before it was cool, used to ride his bike to work everyday. He was hit TWICE by idiots like that, while riding in a bike lane on city streets. The second time caused enough damage that he'll never walk normally again.

Sass said...

If only I could channel some of that! Wow.

Good for you!!!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

my first thought was 'oh! she must live in NJ where people flip the bird all the freaking time.'

Then I remembered you did.

JILL said...

Good for you...and people like her are the reason why I'm all about Jesus and so not all about going to church and dealing with all the hypocrites.

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

A man was killed here on Monday while riding his bike to work. The driver was an 18 year old boy who said the sun was in his eyes and he didn't see the biker. I know bikers have just as much right to be on the road as a driver but it certainly is scary to have to deal with them during rush hour.

Love, love, love the face lift comment. Made my day, ha!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think she has her fingers slightly confused. All the surgery must've affected her brain.
I'm very sensitive about bicyclists, too. The son of one of our nurses here at work got hit by a city bus on his bike a few months ago. It was the boy's fault, but he was hurt very badly and has a long road ahead of him.

Superwoman said...

Oh man! I always want to do this but I can never think of exactly what I'd say! And I wouldn't want to accost someone only to make an idiot of myself, haha.

I'm taking notes from you!!!

Superwoman said...

P.S. You find her at church and you ask everyone to PRAY for her to SLOW DOWN!!!

The 5 Bickies said...

Way to go Sista! I would have been equally incensed, especially given the two bike stories you related.

Your parting comment, priceless!

Kathryn said...

Wow! That is hilarious! You rock!

Fire Hunt said...

Good for you, I can see me doing this.

LaskiGal said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

I had a similar situation not long ago (I posted about it . . . I should dig up that link), but geesh, I wish I would have gotten in one final parting blow.

Awesome.

Roxy Wishum said...

Also, thumbs up! Thanks for taking the time to make the point. Now go to church and love on her some to drive it home.

jsprik said...

tha pisses me off too!! that's how my son was killed. some idiot was in too big of a hurry to stop at a stop sign. broadsided us right at my sons door. he was killed instantly. people need to realize that their actions don't only affect them, they affect other people too!!!

 
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