11.15.2008

An unwelcome distraction..



The other day I had my annual mammogram at a "breast center."


I always picture getting bad news at these things, so I was a little tense.



As I sat in the waiting room playing with my CrackBerry I noticed a foul odor. It smelled really gross, like rotten milk, or...dog shit. I checked my foot and indeed it smelled like dog shit, because it WAS dog shit. All over the bottom of my brand new chocolate brown Ugg tall boots. DAMN!

I had to run into the bathroom, remove my boots and spend 10 minutes rinsing them, rubbing them with with paper towels and soap, rinsing and repeating. That stuff was completely embedded in the soles of the boots, like spackle. I was gagging.

I'm sure the lady next to me in the waiting room really enjoyed smelling my 100 lb. Lab's poo while she waited to see if she has a tumor. Maybe in some small way, I helped her to worry less about her results while she concentrated on the stench wafting from the bottom of my boot.

The good news is, I was so busy scraping the canine excrement off my boot, that my cancer fears evaporated in a cloud of stink.

When I emerged from the Ladies Room with a clean fresh boot, it was my turn to go in.

The bad news is, they changed their policy at the BREAST CENTER and I won't get my results for 10 days. I miss the old days when I could wait and walk out feeling like I dodged a bullet for another year.

Now here's my public service announcement. Don't forget to do routine breast exams. Get your yearly mammogram if you're over 40. And if you have dogs, make sure you walk around your yard with a shovel EVERY DAY.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.


21 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Sorry to hear that news Stinky.

Mrs.D said...

Gross. That is why I prefer our cat over our dog. It never fails that he chooses to shit at the end of Kyle's slide or somewhere else that is "high traffic". I hope your test comes back clear. 10 days is a looooong time to sit and wonder about such matters.

Jennifer said...

Myu wait is two weeks! UGH I hate going every year.

Mrs. K said...

that has got the be the worst thing...to step on dogshit-it makes me gag/ you'll be fine. You know it.

Petunia said...

I had my mammograms done last week. It was so nice (well, not the squishing part)--the radiologist himself came and sat down next to me and told me that everything looked good. Nice personal touch.

Kate said...

Don't fret stepping in Dog Poop is good luck

Mama Wheaton said...

I'm sure you will be fine, the dog poop was a good sign!

Chitown Meg said...

OTFL.

Taylor said...

That's so ironic. I also stepped in dog crap while wearing brand spanking new Uggs 2 days ago. Luckily we were in my husbands truck so I threw them in the back and rode barefoot all the way home. I think they are still there, LOL.

JyLnC said...

I don't know if this will make you feel better or not but the 10 day to 2 week wait is a good sign.

I used to hate that wait until late 2005 when I had my normal mammogram and within 24 hours I received a call from my doctor telling me they had discovered a lump. It was BC and I went on that dreaded journey. Since then, when I have a mammogram on my remaining breast a radiologist looks at the films immediately. I kind of miss the old days of that ten day wait.

You're right about mammograms saving lives - they did mine.

And yes, I think the smell would take my mind off of the mammogram. :>)

Lynette said...

I haven't had that uh...pleasure yet. I turn the big uh....don't want to say it outloud number next month, but I go this coming Wednesday for that oh so fun annual exam, and I'm sure she'll hook me up with my neat-o invitation for one of those boobies sqeezing parties!

So tell me, how bad does it hurt?

dizzblnd said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes... the dog bombs.

I have done that just as I was running late for work. I was able to leave my shoes outside once I got there. Since I live so close to work, I was able to go home on break and get another pair.

THIS is why women have so many pairs of shoes!

I am sure your mammogram will be okie-dokie

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

It's nerve wracking, isn't it...nevertheless, we're smart cookies to go every year.

Sass said...

Good for you, taking care of the girlies like that. ;)

And the surprises in the yard are precisely why I have no pets. :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I wish my dogs cleaned their own poo! Sorry you grossed out all the poor patients. =)

Ina J Offret said...

Thanks for the laugh out loud! Always out there every day harvesting poopsicles (live in Anchorage Alaska) don't want to find them in the Spring. YUCK!

And JYLNC---Will keep you in our thoughts. xo

Kate said...

I have selected you for the Bookworm Award.
Visit me @ Sixtysomethin for details.

Heather J. said...

I flaked on my last appointment. The boob squish, just wasn't in the cards that day.....the Starbucks across the street from the hospital beckoned and I ran like hell to my mocha.
I need to reschedule...maybe at a different place, that doesn't have a Starbucks near it.

I don't do dog shit, I would have thrown them away. Seriously.

Jaina said...

Ugh no fun.

Impoverished Preppy said...

Argh! I just rated your blog and while I thought I had clicked up to 10, it only registered as a 9.9. ooops! But hey - that's still an A+.

HeatherPride said...

Oh MAN! That sucks. Too bad you weren't at the vet's office instead, they wouldn't have even noticed!

 
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