12.05.2008

Joe

I wasn't sure whether or not this is appropriate to post, but I thought I'd share some sad news.

My husband and I lost a friend of ours this week. It was very sudden and tragic.

He had an amazing wife and three children ages 9, 7, and 5. We will be attending his viewing on Sunday and the funeral mass on Monday.

He was only 42 years old.

Our friend struggled with alcohol and had been in and out of rehab. We feel guilt because we pulled away from our friendship with him in the last year of his life. He was very unpredictable and very hard to be with sometimes, but he had a huge heart and was alot of fun. Unfortunately he was unable to conquer his demons.

In the early years of our friendship we shared many great times and got to see the best of him.

His wife loved him so much and was so devoted to him, even when he was at his worst.

It's so sad that his story had to end this way. We hoped he could turn things around and he and his family would live happily ever after.

At least now, he is at peace.

Tonight, before you go to sleep, hold the ones you love close, because life is precious and everything can change in an instant. Be kind to each other and remember that some of the people who look the toughest on the outside can be very fragile.

If you know someone who is going through a tough time, call them. I didn't call Joe and I regret it, and now it's too late.


37 comments:

Stella said...

Oh Jill, I am so very sorry for your loss. This must be so hard for you guys! It sounds like you struggled with the relationship and having to distance yourself was hard. I am so sorry.

I am sorry you went through that and I am so sorry you have lost someone that was so wonderful.

You are very lucky that you have those moments from the beginning to remember him as wonderful as I'm sure he really was.

I will definitely keep you and your family and Joe's family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mrs.D said...

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so sad when someone dies so young, especially when they are troubled.

Mrs. K said...

so sorry- being there for her will be good right?

Jan said...

This post came from your heart and that is appropriate. Sorry for the loss of your friend.

simplynotso said...

I love you:)

Kate said...

When people have an addiction they unconsciously push others away.
Try not to dwell on not being in touch recently. You had valid reasons and when he was struggling unfortunatly it wouldn't have helped. Just think of him being at peace now.
The best you can do for him is to reach out to his wife and children.

Tara R. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending prayers for his family and friends.

jenn said...

Jill, that's tragic. I'm so sorry. I'm sure it was a difficult choice for you to pull back from that friendship, and I certainly wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Life is too unpredictable. Just treasure the memories of those early years. I'm sure he knew in his heart that you guys loved him.

I just found out that a dear friend, and my daughters' former preschool teacher, has Stage 3 breast cancer. She's young, vivacious, with four kids. It's beaking my heart.

georgie said...

So sorry for your Loss...will keep the family and yours in our thoughts and prayers

Scarlet O'Kara said...

I am so very sorry to read this post...not just for your friend Joe and his family, but also for your husband and you. It is never easy to step back from a difficult situation, and with this unfortunate end...there is always the "What ifs". Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you all.

Mama Wheaton said...

Jill, so sorry for your loss and for his families loss. My prayers go out to you both.

K and/or K said...

I am sorry to hear about your loss and the loss his immediately family must feel. Thinking of you...

Dr Zibbs said...

Sorry to hear about this.

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

I am SO sorry and know how difficult it must be.

Linda S said...

sorry for your loss. we have similar experiences and it makes it so hard especially this time of year.

dizzblnd said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. You should feel no guilt. He knew you all loved him and everything you did, the time you spent was enough. The guilt is not yours to carry. My FIL was also an alcoholic. We lost him about 2 years ago from it.

Feener said...

that is so sad. alcoholism is a horrible horrible disease. was he from this area ?

Diva Ma said...

that's so sad. You guys stay strong and hold one another tight. My prayers are with you.

Karen MEG said...

I'm so sorry for your loss... alcoholism is a terrible disease, I feel awful for his wife and young family.

I'm sure you'll be there for them though.

Very important message, and a more than appropriate post.

the pink putter said...

Jill, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. My husband and I lost a friend in a similar situation about 18 months ago, and I can relate to the guilt you are feeling. Hugs to you and prayers to your family and your friend's family.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I'm so sorry Jill, for you all and his family.

A Buns Life said...

I'm sorry...it is so hard especially when it happens this way....hopefully you will be able to be a support now to your friend. My thoughts are with you all.

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

Jill, so sorry for this. It's hard to understand the disease of alcoholism and how it tears a family and friends apart. Maybe after some time you will be able to share your memories of him with his family.

Say It Out Loud Girl said...

I think it is absolutely wonderful for you to share your loss on your blog. There is healing in sharing and power in many people thinking of the family he left behind.
Thank you for opening your heart.

Braja said...

You can still be there for him by helping his wife and children. That's the kind of help that will really be appreciated...and it will help you feel that you didn't let him down. Which, btw, you totally didn't: he let himself down. That's the sad news.

K and/or K said...

Watch this for a smile!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uuqXXT7VYo&eurl=http://www.google.com/reader/view/?tab=my&feature=player_embedded

KHE said...

we've had unexpected deaths in our neighborhood. It's always tragic, no matter what the situation. Pray for them and your own.
Kate

Far From Perfect said...

We went through a very similar thing last Christmas- the disease & demons were too much for our friend. He pushed all of us out of his life. I sorry for your friends children.

Chitown Meg said...

I'm very to hear about his family's loss as well as your own. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jennifer said...

oh no, sorry to hear you lost a good friend.

Kel said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is so hard this time of year ... My heart goes out to the family left behind.

~K

preppyplayer said...

That just sucks. No other words for it.

Jaina said...

::hugs:: Prayers are coming your way and the way of his family as well.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I am SO sorry for your loss.
xoxo

Tickled Pink And Green said...

Oh that's such a tragedy. Those poor kids. And what a horrible time of year for it to happen.
Thinking of you...

The Mrs. said...

That just made me tear up. So sad. I know his kids will miss him terribly. I am so sorry. Hang in there.

Kate said...

I am so so sorry. It is doubly hard to lose someone when you feel like it is something that was within their control. You & his family are in my thoughts.

 
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