5.01.2008

I love my husband!

As you know, I 've been really into the whole "Tudors" thing. As I've watched the movies and TV show and read the books I've done some reflecting on my own life. Here's what I've come up with...



I am so happy to be a suburban New Jersey housewife and not the Queen of England...especially with a husband like King Henry VIII. What a psycho!


First of all, he did NOT look like Eric Bana or Jonathan Rhys Meyers-he was a fat, gross, slob with a big oozing sore on his leg! (Some of my more educated readers have commented that King Henry was at one time quite a hottie. I stand corrected...he might have been a hunk in his early years, but boy did he let himself go!!)












He had to be kept entertained all the time, and he blamed his wives when they couldn't have male children! (Meanwhile-he was the one shooting out all those X chromosomes!)

When he liked his wives, he would do anything for them, including renouncing Catholicism and forming a whole new church, and executing anyone who didn't agree with him.


When he got sick of his wives he didn't just spend too much time at the office or playing golf...not this dude. If his wife was annoying him-WATCH OUT! Exile, annulment-or a blow to the neck with a hatchet!


So Brad, my darling husband, if you are reading this...sometimes you get on my nerves..when you don't like the pasta I made for dinner, or when you don't have black socks in the morning. I know I'm a pain in the a-- when I rag on you, or when I don't stay within "the budget." But I thank God everyday that you are cute, you don't cheat on me and that you didn't blame me or chop my head off when I gave birth to our two precious little daughters. I'm a lucky woman.


Next week I will compare my husband to some other horrible husbands in history...stay tuned for my in depth analysis on Warren Jeffs, Attila the Hun, and Bill Clinton. It's "must read blogging" at it's best!





9 comments:

Impoverished Preppy said...

Actually, until he was around 40 or so, Henry VIII was VERY sexy. If you look at his earlier portraits and read the earlier descriptions of him, he was apparently gorgeous, blond and tall and muscular. Personality problems though, yeah, he definitely had those from day 1.

If you are into the Tudors you might want to take a look at Margaret George's book on Henry VIII - it is a faux autobiography and a great read. Don't be put off by the size of it - it really is a "page-turner."

Caffeine Court said...

He really needed some better PR people! And he should have had some portraits painted while he was still hot looking....

MommyTime said...

Hilarious that you're offering to compare your husband's domestic bliss factor to Attila the Hun. A must-read I certainly won't miss!

P said...

You're so funny. I can't wait for the Warren Jeffs and Bill Clinton comparisons.

The Mrs. said...

I love it! Hillarious! These guys make anyones hubby seem like a dream!

Scarlet O'Kara said...

After reading this post, I love my hubby too! Cannot wait to see the other posts...

The Immoral Matriarch said...

You know...Henry was an extremely handsome man in his younger years. But impoverished preppy already went there. :p

I would trade Jason for him right about now though.

Maddie said...

Looking forward to reading the hubby comparisons...Sounds like a great read :)

cyndy said...

Great post, and I can't wait to read the upcoming comparisons! hee hee

 
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