5.13.2008

Anger Management



Another week has flown by - and it's time for me and my posse to talk about our sins. So far I've covered vanity, sloth and greed, this week, I take on WRATH.












You want to know what pisses me off? Well I'll tell you. It really annoys me when I have my daughters' friends over, buy them ice cream from the ice cream truck, take them to the park, let them play on the Wii, and then later on when I tell them it's time for bed, my daughters call me MEAN. That absolutely ticks me off.

Or when I volunteer with a large group to complete a task our children's school and only 2 out of 20 people actually do ANYTHING. That REALLY gets my goat.

Or when I wait patiently for a parking spot at the mall and just as I'm about to pull, in a car full of teenage girls whip into the spot ahead of me. That my friends, is grounds for me to take a key to the nice red paint job on their Chrysler LeBaron. (Or if I'm in a good mood, I'll just let the air out of their tires.)

But the thing that really puts me over the edge is when people drive in their SUVs talking on their cell phones 40 miles per hour down my narrow street that is PACKED with little children. If you want to see a lady scream, you should try it sometime. I'll come after you with guns blazing. These people are so damn self absorbed, rushing to get to their manicures or appointment with a personal trainer. GOD FORBID, a child runs in the road. I've got news for these Bozos..."Running over a 4 year old might make you late for your facial appointment wench!! So maybe you should consider slow the F down...or you'll have to deal with one pissed off housewife, hyped up on caffeine and wielding an over sized tennis racket."

Take that b-tches.


Okay-so as you can see-I have some anger issues. And yes-WRATH is one of the deadly sins. There are so many ways it can kill you. Hold it in too much-and you have a heart attack...let it out and someone shoots you in the head. The solution...inner peace. The world is full of inconsiderate oafs. I'm sure I've been called one a few times myself. So rather than hate, let's all recite the words of the His Holiness the Dalai Lama

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."

So the next time some dude drives down YOUR quiet little street going 50 miles per hour, remember the words of the Dalai Lama...AND THEN NAIL THE MOFO's CAR WITH A BIG OLD ROCK.


Next week: Gluttony...stay tuned.


23 comments:

Shelby said...

HAHA! I love it. I've been MIA for awhile, so I'm trying to catch up. You don't have anger problems my dear, the world is full of idiots. And I mean like, chalked full to the brim. The rest of us spilled out or something...hmm. I'm enjoying these sin posts...I'll do a little think about my own wrath and post about it later...

MommyTime said...

This is an excellent post. In particular I love this bit:
So the next time some dude drives down YOUR quiet little street going 50 miles per hour, remember the words of the Dalai Lama...AND THEN NAIL THE MOFO's CAR WITH A BIG OLD ROCK. Because we have those crazies in my neighborhood too, and they just about make me want to scream!

LunaNik said...

OMG I know EXACTLY what you mean about peeps speeding down your street!!! People FLY down my road. As a matter of fact, I've only been in this apt for a year and I've seen at least 15 accidents on my corner and all caused by someone speeding t-boning the car crossing over the street. Last time, a car hit the house across the street!!

Bridget said...

This is an awesome post, I am not sure you made wrath a sin here though? :) After reading it I just want to say "amen" to that sister!!

I am so glad that I am not the only girl with a little wrath in her. I chose sloth this week, I am saving the good ones (vanity, wrath, LUST) for later....

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Pick Flick. On 84,000 cupcakes. It's a classic, yes?

suchsimplepleasures said...

i HATE when people drive super fast through my sub. our neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks so the kids have to ride their bikes, roller blades, scooters, etc...in the street...and it's scary. i love screaming at speeding cars. my hubby loves throwing balls at them!!
xoxo

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I definitely have my share of wrath! Especially when someone messes with my kids....watch out!

The Immoral Matriarch said...

LOLOL! You know I have issues with wrath., You KNOW it.

Jillian said...

ummmm, you rock and I love your blog. There, I said it. Happy? By the way, the hell with the analytics. I can't seem to figure out how to get it on my site. I don't know. I'm pretty stupid when it comes to all the cool blog stuff. I want it though!! Help me....???

By the way, next time you have some Mario Andretti crusing by your kiddos, just lay down one of those spike strips. That'll stop 'em or maybe a paint ball gun from your front porch. Yeee Hawwww!

P.S. Thanks for the add...I'm blushing. :o

P said...

Hilarious! I get furious over the same things. I actually posted Monday about one of my episodes and then deleted because I didn't want anybody to get the wrong idea of me. But, yeah, I flipped out last Saturday night over issues sort of like the ones you posted. And you know what? I felt so much better after letting it all out!

Impoverished Preppy said...

Remind me not to piss you off...

Most of the folks in our neighborhood are considerate drivers, but the people across the street have two college age daughters and when they are home on break - Watch out! I've had to go over and ask them (nicely, of course) to please slow down.

Belle in Bloom said...

You hit my worst one. Wrath. I'm a really nice person. (really) However, if you mess with my kids or their safety, you better watch out. I turn into a completely different person, and she isn't pretty. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever been crossed twice by the same person. I'm a hot head. I need to work on that. ;)

Smart A$$ Mom said...

In one of the 'Burbs I have lived in, we used to throw tennis balls at the cars speeding by, then if we were having a particularly uneventful day, have the Head Honcho for the TABC come out and issue a ticket.....

scargosun said...

You do not have a problem with wrath...you have a problem with morons. That is completely different and justified.

Amy said...

LOVED this post! Heck I live this post too! Seriously the drivers that come whipping down our street are the worst. And we live on a very short cul de sac where our kids are ALWAYS out playing. People just use our street to turn around, drives me insane!

ssgreylord said...

Hard to call this wrath when in my book they're annoyances. You're too hard on yourself. I think you're fabulous standing up for your kids like that. Go ahead, throw the rocks!

the mama bird diaries said...

So I would say you definitely have wrath covered. Amen sista!

Teresa said...

Here is what I recommend for changing the behavior of speeding through residential streets:

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a little kids bike.

2. Next time someone speeds through your neighborhood push the bike in front of their car.

3. Once they have stopped but before the shock wears off, inform them that that could have been your child on that bike and you had better not catch them speeding through your neighborhood again.

I hear it works wonders....

The 5 Bickies said...

I'm a screamer at speeders on my street as well. My little ones told their Daddy tonight about the angry lady that drove too fast towards us at the bus stop this morning and proceeded to give US a dirty look for being in her way. Whatever!

Domestic Accident said...

When I was a kid, my dad got sick and tired of the same guy racing down our street on a motorcycle- so one day he nailed him with a a stick of deodorant. Guy never exceeded the speed limit on our street again.

Jaina said...

Hi, I'm new and loving your blog. I've seen you comment other places, but I think it was actually my Google Reader that suggested I come visit. Great post, and I completely understand getting angry at stupid drivers. I like some of the ideas people have come up with for freaking them out and slowing them down.

Karen MEG said...

That's it, just get it all out here, yes, deep breath ... breathe...

You are hilarious!

smartmom said...

exactly what i was thinking

 
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