There's Something About Rachel...

It cracks me up that in my last post I said that I yell at my kids all the time, let them stay up too late and feed them crappy food, and no one says a peep.

I mention that someone wears an ascot, and the comment box starts buzzing!!!

Lest you think I'm an abusive mother, my description of myself was a bit of an exaggeration. Although I have to tell you, I do yell at least a couple times a day.  It's a legacy.  My mom did it, my sisters do it, and most of my friends do it.  Has it scarred our children?  Absolutely not. They take it in stride, just like a baby lion cub when it's mom swats it.  It's all part of the interaction between mother and child.

So here is the moment you've been waiting for.  Let's talk snobs.

In my opinion, people with new money do tend to be the most flashy  but they are not, by any means, the only snobs in town.

I think snobs come in all socioeconomic groups.  There are social climbing snobs, who want to show you what they have and will only associate with people who they think can do something for them.  There are old money snobs, who think they are born better than everyone else and although they might be driving a 20 year old Mercedes, and wearing old loafers, they still spend their time trying to keep certain "less desirable" types out of their fancy clubs.

Then there are the reverse snobs who look down on people with money.  They have disdain for those who strive for nice homes, fancy cars and expensive clothes and take great pride in talking about how they don't "need" all that stuff, and passing judgement on those who do.

The bottom line is that they are pompous and self righteous.

So, without further ado, I'll tell you about some of the characters in my life.

Today, I'll tell you about Rachel (not her real name.)  Since I don't know who reads this, I'm going to describe some of my characters in my vague terms.

Rachel has been friends with a good friend of mine since childhood.  They have children that are exactly the same age and they live very close to each other.  Rachel and my friend Sarah, are very, very different and yet their friendship endures.

Rachel is pretty much one of the most phony people I have ever met.  As phony as she is, she still can't manage to hide her disdain for me.  I feel the same way. We do not click...AT ALL, but the conversations seem to work just fine if I let her brag.  Our common thread is that we are both very close with Sarah.  That's where the similarities end.

She is the kind of person, who gets whatever she wants, no matter what the cost.  Her poor husband looks like a beaten man.  He had better provide Rachel with Nanette Lepore dresses, a Mercedes SUV and a huge house stone mansion with a pool and three acres of land.  OR ELSE.

Rachel likes to talk about how Jerry NEVER says no to her.  He tried it, once, when she wanted to get a puppy.  She was shocked and told him that if he felt the need to refuse her, she would find a way to work around it.  Needless to say, she got the puppy.  

Her kids are pure evil.  They are the kind of kids who poke other kids in the eye when no one is looking.  I worry whenever my kids are alone with them.

Oh, and she "works" for her parent's business.  Which means she has a nanny to take care of her kids while she dresses up and pretends to go into her "job." But actually spends the day shopping.  (Which she claims to hate...she absolutely HATES shopping!! Yeah right.)

Oh and all that money her mom and dad have...well, Sarah has informed me that much of it has been gained through not paying taxes.  Sarah's husband tried to set up the sale of Rachel's parents business, but when the big corporation wanted to look at the books, Rachel's parents panicked and backed out, because the books were cooked and they would go to jail if anyone saw the way they lied about how much they make.

Her defense, "We wouldn't make any money if we paid taxes!!!"


Do you know what Rachel wants now?  A villa.  In Italy.  

That's right.  Because one of her best friends (who is truly loaded and can afford it) has one, so she wants one too.  Jerry better get working a little bit harder, and Rachel better hope the IRS never catches on to her little tax evasion scheme, or the only villa Rachel will be living in will be one with bars on the wall, and I don't think prison uniforms are designed by Nanette Lepore.

Will Rachel get her villa in Italy?  Will anyone call the IRS and report mom and dad?  Will Jerry decide to run for the hills?

Only time will tell.  I can tell you this.  The next time Sarah invites me over for dinner and tells me that Rachel will be joining us, I will NOT be in attendance.  Life is too short to spend listening to some wench brag about her latest hair treatment.  Too short indeed.


Constant Frivolity said...

Oh how I love the latest posts! You are my go-to blog, always good for a smile, a laugh, something to brighten my day!

I have one question, "why is Sarah friends with this woman?"

Can't wait to hear more. I love any story involving an ascot!

Heather@PixieDust said...

hmm, hmm, hmm. maybe you have a reader who works for the IRS. Don't they realize EVERYONE would have more money if it didn't go to taxes. Maybe they can all have matching monogrammed ascots to go with their prison jumpsuits.

Anonymous said...

So what's with Jersey and tax evasion? It's like, family tradition over there!

I kind of LOL'ed a lot at this post tho - I think we all have friends like Rachel! And my friend like Rachel actuall is named Rachel!

Anonymous said...

I can see why you can't stand her. I bet she hates it that you don't give a hoot about her life, lol.

Mom on the Run said...

I have to agree that's probably why she doesn't like you...because she knows you aren't impressed.

trifitmom said...

u must email me and tell me the REAL persona behind this name......so i can stay away if every encountered

Cookie Crums said...

WOW! maybe I should try that and get loaded. JK!

She's probably intimidated by you and at the same time you could care less about her $$$.

Maureen said...

Who is Nanette Lepore?

I couldn't even have a conversation with this person...good for you for boycotting future events with her.

Life is too short.

Preppy 101 said...

Oh, I'm with you. Rachel and I wouldn't be friends either, nor would I be going to any dinner parties, etc. where she would be in attendance! xoxo

Jaina said...

She sounds exactly like someone I would not get along with.

linda said...

WOW! New Jersey suburbs sound exciting! Love these stories- keep 'em up....

Anonymous said...

She will end up alone and very depressed one day! Just hope her husband lives long enough to see this day. Her poor children will be at Betty Ford or in Jail. So very sad. Keep us posted!

honeypiehorse said...

Yeah, my girlfriends always seem to stick by girls I dislike, too. No standards.

Kate said...

Unless you are actually attending the races at Ascot - or are in a day wedding - ascots are for assholes. Funny story though!

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