11.10.2009

I've gotta be me!!! (And you've gotta be you....)

Okay, so continuing on....

after I finished writing yesterday's post, I got to thinking. In order to win the approval of some of these social climbers I've mentioned, I would need to make some changes in my life.

I'd probably have to get a nicer car. I'd need to buy more furniture for my house and throw some big shindigs with a band and a caterer. I would need to go on ski vacations whenever we have a long weekend and step it up with my kids so that they are superstars on whatever sports team they play on. Rec sports aren't enough for these ladies, if your child isn't on the TRAVEL team, then they just aren't cutting it. I'd have to for girl's nights at nice restaurants and talk about my shoes, and my yoga classes and the which spa resorts are the best.


If I did all that my husband would kill me. But I guess I could push him a little harder, like these ladies do to their husbands, so that I can be provided with all the things, that according to THEM, I deserve.

My husband and children might get pushed over the edge, but all these ladies would like me...and isn't that what matters? Being liked by the "right people?"

But wait! If THESE ladies liked me, then what would I do abut the people I know who's philosophy in life is the exact opposite? Then THEY would judge the hell out of me. Some of them already do, simply because I play tennis twice a week and had a cleaning lady many moons ago.

You can't win. Unless....you are happy with who you are. Which is what I'm working on.

So yes, those who judge...I see you rolling your eyes, I pick up on your snide comments. I'm trying very hard to ignore it, because sometimes I have to sit next to you at a dinner party, or soccer game. We can suffer sitting side by side because we share the same friends, but let's be honest...it's as painful for me to listen to you, as it is for you to listen to me.

I am who I am. Maybe I'm not the same as you, but let's face the obvious. If we were all the same, life would be a bore.

So In order to make life more tolerable for all of us, I'll make you a deal. To you, Mrs. Snobby Social Climber...I'll try to appreciate your love for the finer things in life, I'll rejoice in all your children's achievements on the sports fields and I'll be happy for you when you get a new Range Rover. Maybe, from you, I can learn to be a bit more ambitious. Thank you for teaching me abut the power of perseverance and determination.

To you, Mrs. Simple Life. I'll admire your focus on your family, your incredible ability to stay calm. I applaud you for not letting your children watch The Disney Channel. or play on Club Penguin. GOOD FOR YOU!!! From you, I'll learn to concentrate fully on my daughters. Thank you for teaching me to be less selfish.

In return, I'd appreciate it if you would stop judging me because I don't do things exactly the way YOU do.

Just because you THINK you know what's going on it someone else's life, doesn't mean you DO know.

Yes, I lose my temper, at my kids sometimes. Yes, my house is not always spotless. I work hard, but I also take the time to blog and go on Facebook. Oh, and I am under pressure too. We all are.

Bottom line is, I am very thankful that I have two awesome daughters and a great husband, who LOVE me, and eachother. Who are happy and healthy and most importantly, are KIND to others.

So cut me a break and maybe, just maybe, you can learn something from someone as imperfect and different from you as me.

I am who I am and you are who you are.

We can either choose to take it.

Or leave it....

In my next post, I PROMISE to give specifics on some of the ladies I'm referring to...there are some DOOZIES!!! But I really shouldn't judge, should I? ;)


16 comments:

brown eyed girl said...

Wow, you're a bigger person than me! I often bitch about how people irritate me or rub me the wrong way but never stop to think about what I could learn from them!

Go you!

PaperCourt said...

Great post! What a nice reminder to be happy with who we are.

PaperCourt said...

BTW...where is feener?

Dr Zibbs said...

I hate snobs like that. I know tons of them. Then they're surprised when their husbands cheat on them.

Dr Zibbs said...

...because part of their MO too is that they don't like sex.

Tammy said...

Wow! Great post. Look forward to reading more. I don't see a lot of that in my hood. :)

k e r r y said...

Look forward to reading more too! I'm not a fan of my neighbors :(

Brie said...

My corner of NJ is very similar. Lots of "groups" I don't quite fit in "perfectly" with, but I do try to get along with everyone (unless they are over the top jerks and there are some of those too)

The only downside to this way of life is that my close group of friends is a smaller circle and I am totally ok with that. So, I may not get invited to every party in town for not belonging to "the club" or fitting into a certain mold - but I have no interest in becoming any kind of mold. So I'm good :)

I think you've got it TOTALLY right - being kind is key, the rest will fall into place as it should

preppyplayer said...

I agree with Brie. I know where you live and my area is very similar. Luckily when my five kids were all younger I didn't have time to notice if I was left out or snubbed and now I am old enough to not care!

I would have to say that not much impresses me so the climbers stay away.
As for the "super" Moms?" Hmmm, sometimes I find them the most judgmental of all. it is PC of the all knowing Mom to give advice and this type Mom tends to give a lot of it.
At least the climbers know it isn't cool to suggest I spend or have more...

Usually though, because I have five kids people figure I am super Mom or super stupid!
So Jill right back to I am who I am :)

Preppy 101 said...

You are a wise woman. They're all jealous of your inner peace with who you are! Seriously. They would die before they would admit it, but it's the truth. xoxo

linda said...

Oh, Mrs C.C. you sound like you are a great, fun person, caring mom, daughter and wife!
Plus, your witty writing gives me the giggles- you definately have a book or screenplay in you! get to work girl!
-your fan in the suburbs of NY
-Linda

The 5 Bickies said...

oh...go ahead. Judge, just for a minute so we can read about it.

3 Men and a Lady said...

I am a fan of judging if it makes for great blog stories, so bring it on ;-)

Maureen said...

Well said! At the end of the day, we'd all choose to be around someone who was kind. Why can't money bring kindness more often?

And I have a question about traveling teams, what about the siblings who aren't playing? How does that work?

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

I live in an area that has old money and new money. The new money people are, by far the most obnoxious and in your face with their wealth and possessions. I've always enjoyed the many old money people because they just live their lives and don't brag about the clubs, trips and schools. They might mention something but it is rarely as a way of one upping others. They are also almost always older. (hmmm that makes sense)
Rat your neighbors out, honey, we love it!

Kate said...

Just remember the world would be such a dull place without you. You are full of personality you are funny you are open you are spontaneous you are the love of my life.

 
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