1.28.2009

I'm flattered that you thought of me...

I received a rather unappealing invitation from my sister today. She asked me to participate in a MASTER CLEANSE with her.

Apparently I drink the following drink.


* 2 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice

* 2 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup

* 1/10 Teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

* 10 oz of filtered water

6-12 servings a day every day for 10 days.

The diet promises to:
  • You'll normalize your appetite and metabolism so your body can comfortably adjust to it's ideal weight for your size naturally
  • Your suppressed hormone levels will be restored so every cell in your body will be charged with youth giving and feel good hormones
  • There will be a natural shift away from unhealthy habits--without will power
  • You'll cleanse and detox your entire body--the pounds of waste built up over the years will be released in just 10 days
  • Reduced internal inflammation, which will ease aching joints
  • Your energy levels will sore
  • And much more...
Apparently there is all kinds of yucky stuff in my intestines, if you get grossed out easily, STOP READING.
  • It's common to pass pounds of waste in just 10 days on the Master Cleanse, and not the normal kind of waste. It's often black as tar -- The hardened phlegm and mucus comes out like long chunks of rubber -- The waste comes out holding the shape of the inside of your intestine because it's been inside you for years.

    It's also common to pass marble sized gallstones which are green and yellow balls of hardened cholesterol that can block the bile ducts from the liver to the small intestine which can be fatal if you don't remove them.

    How can you live with all this sickening waste clogging up your body?

    I know it's gross, but as you unceremoniously expel this waste you'll feel absolutely amazing. Your body will hum with a lightness and renewed energy that you can't get from drugs, exercise, supplements, or any colon cleansing kit.

Hmmm. I like the idea of getting all the gross stuff that's spackled in my guts out, but this sounds extreme.

Have you ever heard of this? Have you ever done it? I don't think I'm capable.


24 comments:

Lisa said...

Sounds like it might hurt! Do you get to eat anything or just drink that? I don't think i could go 10 days without eating.

Sassy Britches said...

Ugh. A few people I know have done it. MORE THAN ONCE! Yeeeeesh. Supposedly that strange concoction has all the nutrients you really need, so it's supposed to be okay. I'm not sure I'd hop on board that train though. More power to ya!

Jan said...

People at work have done it. Me? Not in this lifetime!

NJDecorator said...

I hear it's all a bunch of hooey. You can always try and let us know.

jenn said...

Never. Gonna. Happen.

Mrs. K said...

this sounds sad but I'm saving this recipe- questions: are you supposed to just drink this for 10 days?? that's not enough energy to get you through if you're exercising- that's the only thing. If anyone doesn't eat in 10 days your body will start using its own resources right down to the bile and excrete it- heck i think that happens at day 3 or 4. so yeah it would make sense that at some point the shit in your intestines would go also.

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

To tell you the truth, I've been feeling really tired and in need of a boost. Can you tell us more? Do you get to eat anything?

Kate said...

I did it once but only lasted 4 days. Yuck!

The wife said...

Yuck.

Now I double dog dare you to do it. I think it would make for some great blog posts!!

Mom on the Run said...

Yeah, good blog posts.....with pictures! ha ha!

My hairdresser and his wife did it but I'm not sure how long they lasted. I only see him once a month and I must have forgot to ask the next month.

Me....never. I am a food slut.

Far From Perfect said...

I live for food... ain't gonna happin here. Now I have those imagines in my head-THANKS

Kappa Prep said...

My parents drank a similar drink in the mornings for a few weeks. However, I am not sure they used as much water in their mix. Do you get to eat on this? If so, I might try it with you!!

Feener said...

i have never done it, but i am curious about it. i mean maybe a nice cleansing would be a kick in my ass....

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

This just sounds gross! I'll "support" you if try it though. LOL

Sass said...

I'm relatively sure that there would be nothing unceremonious about me passing a gall stone.

I think there'd be a big to-do about that.

I'm just sayin'.

;)

Brie said...

I've heard of this before. Is this all there is to eat/drink for 10 days. 2 days maybe, 10 days? no way jose

Kate said...

DO NOT DO IT you could mess your entire digestive system up
it's like voodoo

Tickled Pink And Green said...

I've been getting all the gross stuff out the past 2 days. Both directions if you know what I mean. ;-)

Youngby said...

Aren't enough bodily fluids released by three dogs, 1 cat, 1 hermit crab, 2 children and a middle-aged hubby? Try it at your own risk...and use the kids bath.

Paige said...

I am doing the Colonix one right now, it is a longer program though. I am at the end of week two.

With mine, you eat normally--just take these capsules in the morning, the mix some fiber powder in your juice, and then drink a tea at night.

I actually feel great and have lost two pounds

just a girl... said...

okay i have been reading about this for the past 3 months i have read pros and cons and reviews. there is nothing that i dont know about this diet.

Yes it works from what i have read and yes its cleans out your colon. My family doesnt like that i am doing this but if you have the will power i think it will work. After reading this I have decided that I am going to at least "try" this on monday.

if anyone has questions let me know.

simplynotso said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
simplynotso said...

I am not the sister that asked her to do this!and isn't the hermit crab missing???????

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

I have seen it on the internet but have never tried it myself, ugh.

 
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