12.23.2009

Tis The Season to Plagiarize a Vent...

Since I'm so busy reflecting on the meaning of this wonderful season and the wonder of God's greatest gift to mankind...I'm too frazzled to write my vent, (right now) so in the meantime...here are some holiday rants I found on the internet...stay tuned for the Caffeine Court holiday rag...coming real soon to a computer screen near you!!! Remember...these are not written by me. (Mine is much worse...)

Christmas is great I guess if you're either a little kid or you're rich and can through money around on crap. None of those applies to me. I had wonderful warm family Christmases growing up...but those days are behind me now. If you love Christmas...good for you, seriously. No offense. I'm just venting here.

Buying shit. Having to buy shit. Not being able to afford shit. Charging shit. Returning shit. Buying shit to wrap shit in.

Holiday parties. I'm sorry.....no. Not for me. I spend 40 hrs a week with you motherf**kers and it's a treat for me to have to bring food from home that I have to spend money on and make and eat your funky ass food and pretend to like it and sit around together and make small talk and play little get to know you games and shit while I have an anxiety attack? How about this? NO. Why is it a custom to be forced to hang out with people I don't want to really on holidays? I'd rather just watch TV and smoke dope.

Eggnog. Yeah, I know lots of people like this shit, but I personally find eggs in general completely disgusting. A drink? F-ck no. Get your stinking eggnog away from me.

Christmas cards. I hate buying them, signing them, mailing them and getting them...well sorta. I mean it's kind of a nice thought...but again, it's spending money on a stupid thing just because and it's just gets either thrown out or recycled. A waste. Most people can't even write something original...it's printed on there for them and they just sign it. Wow...sincere.

I hate getting forced to attend midnight mass by my drunken Catholic relatives every Christmas eve.

Wow!! These people are bitter!!!


1 comments:

Mrs. Sitcom said...

Oh, I am so all over the work holiday party vent. Where do I even start?! I love the contrast between the people who absolutely LIVE for those parties (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? GO GET A LIFE!), and how they are completely oblivious to the fact that most people think of it as an obligation and go grudgingly, for as little time as possible?! That part is actually hilarious...!

 
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