Holiday Haunting

My girls got some Toys R Us gift cards this Christmas so I took them on a little shopping trip last night. As we walked down the toy aisle we stumbled upon a shelf full of Ouija boards.

I got all excited and grabbed one off the shelf. "Look at THIS! A Ouija board!!" I exclaimed.

Blank stares from the peanut gallery.

"What does it do??" My eldest daughter inquired.

"It's so cool, you can talk to ghosts...." stopping dead in my tracks, my daughters stared at me, wide eyed.

"Ghosts?" My six year old asked. "Are ghosts real?"

Aww shoot. Here we go.

"No of course there not, it's just for fun. You PRETEND ghosts are talking to you. Forget it, let's go look at DS games."

Bummer. How do you explain a Ouija board to your children without completely flipping them out? If you can think of a way, I'm all ears.

I remember spending countless sleepovers talking to Abe Lincoln on my friend's Ouija board. We would also levitate each other. Remember that? When one person would lie in the middle of the group and each person would put two finders under the victim. We would then repeat, "light as a feather, stiff as a board..."and then LIFT the victim up to the ceiling!!!

Good times.

At the time it seemed so NORMAL. When I tried to talk to my girls and their friend about it, it sounded just plain weird.

Am I the only weirdo around who played with one of these things as a kid?

I almost felt like buying myself a Ouija board and stashing it away, just for old times sake. Maybe I can invite some ladies from the PTA over to chat with George Washington and Jack the Ripper.

We could all wear pajamas, drink some wine and levitate each other.

Sounds like fun, right? WRONG.

Read this from Wikipedia:

Although ouija boards are viewed by some to be a simple toy, there are people who believe they can be harmful, including Edgar Cayce, who called them "dangerous."[24]

Some practitioners claim to have had bad experiences related to the use of talking boards by being haunted by "demons," seeing apparitions of spirits, and hearing voices after using them. A few paranormal researchers, such as John Zaffis, claim that the majority of the worst cases of so-called demon harassment and possession are caused by the use of Ouija boards. The American demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren stated that "Ouija boards are just as dangerous as drugs."[25] They further state that "séances and Ouija boards and other occult paraphernalia are dangerous because 'evil spirits' often disguise themselves as your loved ones—and take over your life."[25]

Demonic possession? Evil spirits harassing me and taking over my life? Why didn't anybody stop us when we were 12 years old? Were we in mortal danger and we didn't even know it?

Seriously, I would get really creeped out when we played with this thing.

Don't you think we should stop Parker Brothers from distributing this dangerous toy? I'm shaking in my boots just thinking about it! No wonder my daughters looked so disturbed.

Okay, somebody get me a Xanax.

(The previous post is an example of my adult A.D.H.D. I sat down to write my New Year's resolutions and this is what I came up with. Forget the Xanax, somebody get me some Adderall.)


3 Men and a Lady said...

I was not allowed to play with a Ouija board when I was young. My parents told me that it was an easy way for demons or the devil to work. They would tell me about this verse:

Leviticus 19:31
'Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.' (NIV)

Besides, didn't you see "Witchboard"?? LOL! That movie was enough to keep me from playing with them, although I did try it once. And it didn't work for us. Oh well. We did do "light as a feather" and thought we were miraculous!

Brie said...

I did ALL those things too and fully admit to making the ouija reader move myself to give completely inappropriate answers and then fall over laughing. My kids have NO clue what a ouija board is either and I doubt they could handle it. They frighten VERY easily ;)

Preppy 101 said...

We were innocent when we played with the evil board. My girlfriends and I only used it to find out whom we were going to marry. The answer was always miraculously whoever we were crushing on! haha xoxo

Poolside with the Girls said...

I'll come over and play with the board and levitate...it's been TOO long since I've done that!

Coffee with Cathy said...

The scariest game of the holidays for us was Apples to Apples -- we couldn't stop playing! But I love your Ouija Board memories -- thanks for sharing.

The Mrs. said...

Fab post. I looooooved the ouija and was simultaneously drawn and freaked out by it! We of course did light as a feather stiff as a board, chanted it hauntingly. That was normal right? Seemed fine to me. That was before you told me I was posessed by demons which frankly, explains everything!!!

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
itsmejane said...

I went to catholic school. i never came near those things- i'm as chicken shit as they come.

Chris said...

Ok you did it. I happened upon your blog and started reading and you described some of the fun things I did in my childhood.

Ouija boards were awesome. Levitating friends rocked! LOL "Light as a feather, stiff as board". We also had seances on the side of houses, stirred imaginary cauldrons while singing "double double toil and trouble" etc.

Those were the days when we went outside to play and only came in after our moms screamed and hollered for us. We were never bored and always had fun and interesting things to do.
Yeah, my kids would be freaked out by a Ouija board these days and I kind of think it's a shame.

Looking forward to your blog posts and going backwards to see what fun I've missed!

PaperCourt said...

Did you ever write REDRUM on the mirror in a dark bathroom with lipstick? Equally as scary as the Ouija board and "light as a feather". I can't remember what was supposed to happen but it was scary :-)

Angela said...

Oh the days.......we even played with Oujia boards in college.....I don't remember what we were drinking at the time!!!

Jaina said...

I just remember the movie with Melissa Tomei involving a Ouija board. There's one in my grandparent's toy closet from my aunts and uncles, only ever really looked at it. Jury is still out on whether or not I believe in the supernatural. Lol.

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