Attack of the Killer Munchkins

I am in shock and I'm not kidding.

Today, at tennis, my children and I were attacked by evil little trolls.

I had heard rumors about a fellow tennis player's children. That they were wild, violent and out of control. I thought people were exaggerating.

They weren't.

My daughters were in the lobby watching a movie while I played doubles. When I came to get them these three little children (ages 4, 6, and 8 ) accosted me.

The oldest demanded proof that I was my daughters' mother, the middle boy grab my tennis skirt and tried to pull it down, and the little girl kicked me in the leg and punched me in the stomach.

They then proceeded to grab my daughter by the arm and kick her.

I WAS PISSED, so I took the little girl, grabbed her arm and said, "you DON'T hit people!!!"

Her reply, "YESSSSSS I DO!!!"

And she hit me again and yelled at me..."I HAAAATE YOU!!!"

I told my girls, that if those demons touched them again they had my permission to slap them across the face.

But that's not in their nature.

I couldn't stand it anymore, so we got the hell out of Dodge. As I glanced back, I saw the youngest girl punch the lady at the front desk in her crotch. The older boy had his brother in a headlock and was banging his head into the wall.

I have never EVER seen anything like it.

Those kids could join up as a gang and kill an adult. No lie.

I've seen bad seeds before. It's bound to happen.

But ALL THREE KIDS in one family? Frightening. Truly.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight, about three little Irish children, taking me to the ground and kicking and punching me into oblivion.

I don't think I'll be able to return to the tennis club.

At least not without a weapon.


Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Oh, crap! They were IRISH?!!! I'd like to apologize on behalf of my heritage!

Seriously, where are the parents when this is going on?

Tara R. said...

Is there someone at the tennis club you can speak with. That is assault, even if it is a little kid. Yeah! Where were the parents during all this? That's terrible. I wonder what their home life is like if they act like that in public?

3 Men and a Lady said...

Ewww I hate little brats. Weren't you just dying to spank them? I hope one of your kids does knock the piss out of them.

Chris said...

Wow you have to wonder if their behavior isn't something they've learned from mom and dad!! That's horrible. I wonder what the mom would say if the tennis club confronted her about their behavior.

Preppy 101 said...

How terrifying to have to deal with miniature demons. What little bullying brats. Someone certainly needs to put them in their place! They should be banned from the club. xoxo

HouseMama said...

OMGOsh - that's ridiculous. I'm sure there must be a rule somewhere to prevent them from coming back. You should definitely make a complaint. (although I do find it humorous that the little one thought YOU should prove YOU were the parent)

Poolside with the Girls said...

WHERE are the parents?

I'd complain to the club. That's just not acceptable.

Grace's Mom said...

Not to defend the kids, but they had to learn this behavior somewhere! If those were your kids, wouldn't you be absolutely humiliated?! How could you ever take them anywhere?


The 5 Bickies said...

wow...that story will always make me feel better when I feel like my children are out of control. They would NEVER do that even on their worst day.

Sure glad I don't eat dinner with them every night.

Maureen said...

Now, why did they have to be Irish? Shoot! Where in the world were the parents? Sounds like a perfect job for management!

Fragrant Liar said...

I was WONDERING where my kids ran off to!

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