Stayin' Alive! (and lookin' good while doing it!)

My Dad's surgery was a result of an aortic dissection, caused my a congenital twist in some of his arteries. His doctor suggested that my sisters and myself get echo cardiograms to see if we have the same defect. WELL ALRIGHTY THEN!!!

I'll get right on it, after I have my annual pap smear and mammogram. I'll follow that with my body checks and excisions at the dermatologist. Next up on the agenda...a colonoscopy! For my grand finale I'll get my teeth cleaned and x-rayed. When I'm done taking care of all the things I need to stay alive, I'll take my children to the pediatrician and my dogs to the vet!


But wait, I'm not finished yet. We can't just stay alive-we've got to look foxy while we're doing it. In order to stay reasonably well groomed, there are the appointments I must have and should have, including, but not limited to: hair cuts and color, spray tans, manicures, pedicures, (yeah right-I wish) bikini waxes and facials. God knows if I did all the laser treatments and chemical peels my dermo has suggested I'd be in either a medical office or beauty salon 24/7!

Since I can't do it all, I have to put my priorities in order.

Ooops! Gotta run, I have a 3:00 microdermabrasion appointment-and my facialist HATES to be kept waiting!! :)

Wonders never cease...

I received a very surprising phone call from my mother today, my father was released from the hospital! Since they live in Florida, he is recuperating at my house.

I was completely shocked-but the hospital feels it lessens the chance of infections to get patients out ASAP. (I'm sure insurance has something to do with it as well!) Anyway, we will have our hands full for the next couple of weeks. He is still sore, but he is GIDDY to be alive and home.

We are still thanking God every day. He is a very, very lucky man.

Scroll Down Sunday

Such Simple Pleasures gave me the idea of recycling posts I did way back when before anyone read my blog. I say it's like reruns for blogging.

Here's one from my first month blogging... THE DRUDGERY OF HOUSEWORK

I love staying home with my girls-but one of the toughest parts of my job is THE HOUSEWORK. I try to make it fun-and to enjoy the process. I read books on Buddhism and try to enjoy the feel of the sponge in my hand as a scrub the shower, the humming sound of the vacuum, the smell of Pledge. Unfortunately I have "Monkey Mind" and have the attention span of a squirrel. I try to motivate myself with rewards. "If I can unload the dishwasher and put away all the dishes in one session-I can call my sister." "If I can clean all the windows in the family room-I can read the newspaper."

I try to see housework as exercise. Deep knee bends when picking up toys-STRETCH to reach cobwebs-SPRINT up and down stairs tending to requests for sippy cups or popcorn while attempting to reorganize a closet or make a bed.

In order to motivate myself I try to tell myself that I really LOVE having a clean sparkling house. That I take pride in having spotless baseboards and shiny granite counter tops. Not that I am simply trying to avoid the browbeating I will receive when my husband returns from work and exclaims-"What did you do all day!!!!?"

So here I sit at my computer-surrounded by dust bunnies, Barbies and dog hair. I guess I should get to work-but first I need to check my e-mail!!!

Google Analytics

Avery Gray suggested I sign up for Google Analytics-so I did. (I'd jump off a bridge if she told me to!) Anyway, it's such a great source for information on blog, traffic, including referring sites, average time spent on site, locations of readers, all that fun stuff.

You can also find out which keyword was used to get to your blog. Here are some of the keywords that led readers to my blog.

cooked meat
pound of flesh
husband red nail polish his toenails
slaughter a chicken
caffeine and bowel movements
butt face
MILF
Quinn's weird boobs
The Lice Woman of Brooklyn

As Avery said, there are some weird people out there! I guess that includes me, because all these strange google searches led straight to Caffeine Court!

Dad Update

Thanks for all of your sweet comments. My father is doing really well. My sister and Mom are with him today-I've been busy trying to organize my family's life so I can spend the next few days at the hospital.

My sister tells me that he is in EXTREME pain (understandable after 11 hours on the table) but is making incredible progress. He's off the breathing machine and talking (he even made a couple of jokes).

The doctor who operated on him, Dr. Allan Stewart is a miracle worker (and he's pretty cute too-but maybe I'm biased because he saved my father's life).

He was part of the team that operated on Bill Clinton when he had heart surgery. The right doctors (as well as luck in my Dad's case-knock wood) can make all the difference in the world!

If you live in the Northeast and ever need a heart specialist-the ladies and gents at New York Presbyterian/Columbia are the ones to see.

P.S. I love parentheses. (I really do!)

What a day...

I didn't want to write about this because it was too stressful to put "out there." But my Dad had major heart surgery today at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in NY. He was in surgery for eleven hours! Luckily they operated today, because the doctor said he is very lucky to be alive and his aorta was not going to last more than a day or so. Maybe I'll share the gory details another time.

Anyway, say a prayer. So far so good, but the first couple of nights are critical and he isn't out of the woods yet.

Days like today are such a great example of how we sweat silly small stuff all the time, when the most important thing is the people we love. I know I'll go back to all my trivial obsessions, but for now, it's all about my Dad! (The man who introduced me to tennis and caffeine! God love him!)

No pressure!

My first post of the New Year and I'm makin' it a throwaway!

I came across and article from Entertainment Weekly listing the funniest TV lines from 2007.

If you like "The Office" or "Conan O'Brien" you're in luck because apparently they have the funniest writers in the business.

Here is a sampling-you can hit the above link for the entire list.

''Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing — Gary Coleman is going to drown.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

''I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least, it's bisexual.''
MICHAEL (STEVE CARELL), AFTER BEING ACCUSED OF WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHES TO WORK, ON THE OFFICE

''Today the Olsen twins turned 21 years old, which means they're now old enough to drink. Still no word on when they'll be old enough to eat.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

''Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.''
THE PETITE-SIZE ANGELA (ANGELA KINSEY), DISCUSSING HER SHOPPING HABITS, ON THE OFFICE

''One of the most popular gifts for high school graduates this year is a gift certificate for plastic surgery. Apparently, the gift certificate is a perfect way to tell a recent graduate that you can be anything you want to be but not with that giant honker.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

Here's to another year of great comedy!