Common Sense

In my last post I promised to talk about my "wildly successful diet." I hope I didn't get you too excited because it's not really anything all that special.

Let's start at the beginning.

As I mentioned, I was with my girls this summer ALL THE TIME. It was stressful at times, so occasionally we entertained ourselves by going out for ice cream, or hitting the candy aisle at 7-11. No matter how tense things got, we all agreed that a Slurpee and a box of Nerds can make everything all better.

As you all know, there are consequences to every action, and boy did I learn that the hard way.

Towards the end of my tennis season I went to put on one of my favorite tennis skirts and I could barely pull it up over my thighs.

I was so stubborn that I managed to wiggle it up over my big, beefy butt. When I finally managed to get it all the way on, it actually hurt, but I refused to remove it. I wore the damn thing through an entire tennis match in 100 degree weather. Can you say "intense pain, coupled with an atomic wedgie?"

You can't even imagine how lovely it was pulling that tiny little skirt down to go to the bathroom after getting all sweaty and THEN having to pull that thing up again. Absolutely horrendous, I tell you, and the chafing was beyond belief.

Are you getting the picture? It was ugly, but it was good for me, to realize how chubby I had become over the summer. I needed to punish myself, and I refused to go out and buy larger clothes.

As a result of the ass and inner thigh injuries I sustained by wearing that little pink girdle for three straight hours, I began paying attention to how many times a day I blindly threw crappy food into my mouth. A marshmallow here, a handful of fries, a bag of jelly beans, a few goldfish crackers. It was like a cash register of calories, CHA CHING, CHA CHING, CHA CHING.

I was at a crossroads, either I could continue to consume massive quantities of junk all day long, while my body slowly but surely expanded, little by little, OR I could become mindful about what I was eating. By the grace of God, I chose to stop the insanity.

I started to stop myself every time I reached for a spoonful of ice cream or a couple of Oreos. I stocked my shelves with healthy food, like granola, bananas, avocados, and salads.

I started drinking one coconut water in the morning and then lots of water all day long, and very quickly, I started to notice that my pants got a little looser and my belly a little flatter.

I've only been good for about 3 weeks, but already the results astound me.

So that's it. No South Beach, no personal trainer, just an awareness of what I was consuming and cutting out the crap.

I'm also going to start running again this week.

I'll admit that I caved on Saturday and had a few beers and some cheese fries at our local fair, but I'm going to make up for it this week.

So that's my secret. Pretty common sense.

Less calories, healthier food and lots of water equals a very comfortable size small tennis skirt.

I leave you with a few weight loss quotes:

The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live. - Socrates

We never repent at having eaten too little. -Thomas Jefferson

and finally, it I'm having a bad day...

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen


It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. ~Roseanne Barr

So who am I going to emulate? Socrates and Thomas Jefferson or Woody Allen and Roseanne?

Only time will tell.

(Now go Google COCONUT WATER, then go buy some. It's awesome.)

Coming up...who knows? But I'm always open to suggestions!!