Hot Monkey Love (Caution: Not for the faint of heart!)

Wow. Time sure flies when your kids are on Spring Break!!!

Today was back to school, so it's back to blogging.

Last week we paid my sister a visit at her home in Maryland and we took a little field trip to the National Zoo in Washington D.C. It was quite a visit. The monkeys were in fine form.

It fascinates me how entertained humans are by disgusting primate behaviour.

As we entered the chimpanzee house we noticed a large crowd gathered in a corner gazing at something through the glass. We managed to push to the front, and lo and behold, a chimp was vomiting on the ground and then eating it, over and over and over again. The crowd was transfixed. I didn't get it! I was gagging at the sight of it, but people were climbing all over each other to watch disgusting show.

The next stop...the Orangutans, and let me tell you. They did not disappoint. At first they were really cute and innocent, playing around under a sheet, chasing each other and having a jolly good time, when all of a sudden, things took an unexpected turn. A male Orangutan approached a female while she was enjoying a bamboo snack. He pushed her on her back and then pushed her legs back. He then proceeded to lick her feminine area. She looked bored and continued snacking and looking at the spectators with an annoyed look on her face.

The male then proceeded to mount her and give her some hot Orangutan loving. The crowd was loving it!!! I didn't see one person grab their child and try to leave, as a matter of fact, the crowd moved in closer, and started photographing and videotaping the primate porn. Suddenly, the female looked really mad, she pushed the male off and tried to make her escape. He would not take no for an answer. DATE RAPE!! He grabbed her legs and tackled her. Once he had her pinned he continued to finish what he started. To make things even more humiliating for the female, another Orangutan sat and watched the entire show while he picked his nose and ate it.

When the sex act was completed, the poor girl ran over to a sheet and put it over her head, hiding herself in shame. To add insult to injury, the man picked up her bamboo and ate it himself!

What a cad.

If you'd like to see video documentation of this event, I'll see if my sister can put it on Youtube, since she was one of the sick perverts videotaping this shocking display.

And that, my friends, was the highlight of my Spring Break.

I feel dirty.


Preppy 101 said...

Definitely a vaca to remember! haha xoxo

Heather@PixieDust said...

OMG!! i guess that is what animal planet has done to zoo spectators.

Mrs. D said...

Monkeys of all sorts disgust me. I don't care if I see them when we go to the zoo. But the last time we went a large crowd of middle schoolers were gathered in front of the glass. I had to see what the fuss was... a new baby perhaps?

No, a male monkey was jerking off right at the glass. The giggling should have tipped me off.

PaperCourt said...

I have no words.

Paula said...

I got a great laugh out of this post. We take our 7th grade on an annual field trip to a zoo in NC and the orangutans never disappoint.

Mama Wheaton said...

Never been a great fan of monkeys and a lesser fan of monkey sex!

Marie said...

That is awesome..I would have been one of the interested crowd ha ha.

One time at the zoo, a chimp that starting flinging his poo. We didn't know what he was doing because he had his back to us until it was too late. Luckily we were very high up looking down on them so he didn't make it that far.

Hey on the orangutans, at least the female got a little foreplay?

What that too much? Sorry.

Grace's Mom said...

Oh my. Rest assured, I would have been one of the parents to usher my family away! But not because of my daughter, more because of my husband. ;)

I'm kind of surprised they just leave males and females together like that...are the zoologists hoping for babies?

brown eyed girl said...

Damn, I was thinking we'd have a good story on our hands going into reading this blog post, but ape date rape never crossed my mind! :) LOL!

Constant Frivolity said...

Oh my, you never disappoint!

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

okay, that's pretty funny! It reminded of going to the New Orleans zoo as a kid. The gorilla would throw trash and poop at the blacks but not the whites??? YES a racist gorilla!!!!

Lori said...

Ewww, ew, ew, ew, ew. Yes, I'd like the video, please.

Holly said...

OMG! LOL! I almost feel guilty laughing at that, but at the same time...it's just hilarious!

Nishant said...

I don't have word...
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