Mrs. Overly Competitive Middle Aged Team Tennis Player....

I was driving in the car today, when I heard the radio version of this commercial....it's one of Bud Light's hilarious "Real Men of Genius" spots...

This particular spot really hit home for me because it's all about ME...on the tennis court.

A few of the phrases really rang true...(sing the words in red...)

"A little competition never hurt anybody...unless of course that person happens to be the person you're playing against. Bring on the pain."

or

"Blazing speed? NO! Great hands? NO? Unresolved issues over being cut from the team 17 years ago? BIG TIME!!!! I still have issues!"


"You leave it all out on the field (court)...your blood, your sweat, your dignity. Dignity is overrated!!!"


No kidding. Just ask my sister. I played against her a couple of weeks ago and she laughed at me the entire time. The mean look on my face, the way I hurled my body across the court after every ball paying no mind to how absolutely hideous I looked as a flailed my 45 year old body around the court with full gusto.

It's quite a sight. Perhaps someday I'll have someone video me and post it for your enjoyment.

Picture the dude in this commercial with longer hair and a tennis skirt:



Sooooo, if you ever want to join me for a "friendly" game of tennis. FUHGGEDABOUT IT!!

I've got issues!!!

But at least I admit it.

The Breaking Point

I'm up, at 4:30 in the morning.

Why? You ask.

Well, I'll tell you why. About 30 minutes ago, I was rudely awakened by a deafening crash.

I leaped from my warm bed, thinking an intruder had entered my home.

I should have known better.

I entered my bathroom and there was glass everywhere, and in the middle of it stood my cat, licking up the water all over the tile floor and purring loudly.

I grabbed some paper towels and a broom and proceeded to pick up the mess. I then proceeded to wake each member of my family to ask them to avoid the area until I can vacuum at the crack of dawn.

Like the glass, I might have reached my breaking point.

Owning 3 dogs and a cat is starting to get to me.

(Okay, it's been getting to me for a long time, but I'm finally admitting it.)

I love them so much.

Too much.

But cleaning up the hair, poop, and throw up is wearing me down.

Throw in the vet bills, nail trimming, brushing, meds, helping my elderly Lab up and down the stairs as well as cleaning up the garbage every time my Dachshund gets in the trash and getting yelled at by my husband each time the Pug jumps on the couch and it really gets ugly. (Yes, it's a run on sentence, I know...cut me a break...I'm TIRED!!!)

Oh, have I mentioned finding someone to care for this menagerie every time we go away? Not an easy task, but easier than the pain I feel if I board them all for a week.

CHA CHING!!

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you about the humiliation of running up and down my street with a hot dog if one of them gets out and tries to run down a busy road, or the screams of scared children who are afraid of dogs and come to visit our home.

Do I sound bitter?

I'm really not, because my love for them makes it all worth it.

But I am tired.

Very, very tired.

I guess nothing good comes easy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean out the litter box.

(Unless one of the dogs gets hungry and beats me to it.)

Thanks for listening.

Okay Robblogger, your little tactic worked...

I just received the following comment:

"I just read your blog. It’s alright. By that I mean it’s not entirely horrible. There were parts where I thought I would rather be pleasuring myself with sandpaper, but you definitely have potential. I think it might be beneficial for you to check out a truly excellent blog, Inspired by Caffeine and Nicotine Operation Z. I am willing to give you a few tips. Love Robblogger."

SAY WHAT!!!!????

I was a little taken aback, and at the same time, intrigued, so I payed Rob a little visit and this is what I found:

"I just read your blog. It’s alright. By that I mean it’s not entirely horrible. There were parts where I thought I would rather be pleasuring myself with sandpaper, but you definitely have potential. I think it might be beneficial for you to check out a truly excellent blog, Inspired by Caffeine and Nicotine Operation Z. I am willing to give you a few tips. Love Robblogger

I posted that to a bunch of blogs today. I’m really not that big an asshole. Let me explain. But first, let’s move on with our second title...

To be completely clear I did not mean what I said in that comment. I am completely unwilling to give anyone advice. And the only place I posted that little love note, was on blogs I thought were truly excellent, and to those I thought might be able to take a joke. I blame my girlfriend. She suggested I post comments to Bloggerites I really enjoyed. For the last couple weeks I have been taking her advice, and Pearl Harboring sites I like, with adulation and praise. It hasn’t worked. I’ve been sending out love and getting none in return. I feel like Charlie Brown on Valentine’s Day. That is no way to make me feel, shame on you bloggers.

I have gone biblical, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” I had to come up with a teaser that would get viewers over here. What kind of remark would get me to go check out someone else’s thoughts? The above horribly insulting and egotistical memo is what I came up with. I am willing to admit it is not the nicest thing I have done, but I had an unhappy childhood. I didn’t have a Nintendo. I had to make do with an Atari. If my childhood had been filled with rescuing a Princess, instead of endlessly trying to get a frog across a busy street, I might not have the need for attention I suffer with today."


Okay Rob, I get it, and your little trick worked. Here is some attention from me, a lapsed blogger who totally gets the need for comments and attention.

If anyone else would like to reward Rob with some attention after his desperate cry for attention, you can find him here.