There's Something About Sarah...

I have always loved Sarah McLachlan, so I was thrilled to learn that the Grammy award winning, singer/songwriter released her long awaited new album, LAWS OF ILLUSION on June 15th!

The album is fueled by the deterioration of McLachlan's 11 year marriage and all the songs are really touching and poignant.

The album’s first single is “Loving You Is Easy” is my favorite, it points an optimistic face towards the future and the tune is really catchy.

My second favorite song "Bring on the Wonder,” is one of the album's most beautiful. It's very simple, with McLachlan's voice singing over piano.

All in all, this is a perfect album to put on when you want to relax, and cut out some of the clamor from your life. I'm going to keep it in the minivan to pop in whenever I need to chill.

I love it, and I think you will too!

You can purchase a copy of Sarah’s new Album "Laws of Illusion" from Amazon or you can purchase the single " Loving you is Easy" on iTunes or Amazon right now.

Disclosure: I would like to thank the One2One Network for providing me with a copy of the Sarah McLachlan Laws of Illusion CD for the purpose of this review.

Who needs therapy when you have a pole?

How many of you watched last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey? HOLY HOBAGS!

You know what I'm talking about...the scene where Danielle tries to get her sexual confidence back by taking all her buddies to a strip joint for stripper pole lessons. Did you miss it? If you did, you are lucky. I can't get the image out of my head of 70 year old Kim "G". awkwardly mounting the pole in her saggy tight boy shorts and white thong. I seriously felt sick thinking of her son and family watching this crap. Why??? What is she going to get out of this humiliation? I don't get it.

I was dying watching the look on Danielle's face as her friends struggled to straddle the pole like pros. She was salivating and couldn't WAIT to show them up. And show them up she did!! She really came alive on that stage, gyrating on the pole and bending over in front of Danny and crew to give them a better view of her entire ass. Her grand finale included some incredibly intricate stripper moves including an impressive full spread eagle on the floor, followed by a split that would have killed lesser women.

How empowering and inspiring she is for women everywhere.

I was moved by how impressed Danielle's friends were at her skills as a pole dancer. How supportive of of Danny and his friends to drool, hoot and fling one-dollar bills at the her. (Which she stuffed into her panties.)

It was a bitter sweet moment. On the one hand, she was reliving the thrill of having men throw money at her for giving them a boner. On the other hand, it was only one-dollar bills. In the old days, it was fifty and one hundred dollar bills.

What do you expect Danielle? Times have changed. We're in a recession. Even hot strippers like you have to cut back.

The most touching part of it all is Danielle's friendship with the ex-con Danny. What a great guy. So sweet of him to join Danielle's crusade to enter back into the dating world and reclaim her womanhood. That, my friends, is a man who has been rehabilitated and is now a contributing member of our society. The more I think about it, the more empowered and touched I feel.

It all makes me very proud to be a resident of the great Garden State.

Would someone please pass me a tissue?

Im getting all faklempt.

Time in a Bottle...(Volume 1)

The other day I was at the liquor store, shopping for the ingredients for my world famous sangria, when I passed a bottle of Goldschlager on the shelf.

Suddenly, I became very nostalgic and floods of memories of liquor runs past came rushing back to me in waves.

It seemed that each bottle had a memory and a great (or horrible) story attached to it. I have decided to chronicle my experiences with a few of these bottles of booze in a series entitled "Time in a Bottle."

I'll start with a classic, Southern Comfort. As I the gazed at the old fashioned bottle full of amber liquid, I was transported back to the summer after my freshman year of high school. A bunch of kids in my neighborhood were wandering around aimlessly goofing around when my friend's older brother ran into some bushes in the back of his house and pulled out a brown paper bag. The bag contained none other than a big old bottle of SoCo.

I didn't miss a beat. We ripped the top off the bottle and proceeded to swig down the bottle in no time flat. No peer pressure here, I couldn't WAIT to chug down as much of that nasty brown liquid as I could get my greedy little hands on.

Things get a little hazy, but do have vague recollections of sitting on my friend's brothers lap, staggering around and then sneaking upstairs to my room before my parents saw me.

My next memory is the room spinning, trying to get out of bed and then vomiting into my trash can next to my bed.

Needless to say, I was a mess. I weighed less than a 100 lbs and I had consumed almost half a bottle of warm bourbon in less than half an hour.

Unfortunately, I didn't get away with it. My parents returned from an evening out with their friends to find their 14 year old daughter passed out on the bed with a trash can full of puke next to her.

All I remember hearing is my mom's voice. "Billy, she's drunk."

My dad attempted to reprimand me, but I was in no shape to defend myself, or even feel remorse. UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING.

At 7 am SHARP, I was rudely awakened by my father who announced that we would spend the day doing yard work, in the hot sun. It was hell. Sheer hell. To add to it, I was grounded for 2 weeks, which for me at that age, was the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me. To sit at home knowing that everyone else was out having a great time wandering around the neighborhood doing nothing, KILLED me.

And now, 30 years later, I still can't get near a bottle of bourbon, without having my stomach contract. That stuff is nasty.

I will end this post with a prayer.

Please sweet Jesus. I know I haven't always been a good person, but PLEASE spare me having to find one of my daughters in this predicament. I pray that my daughters have inherited my husband's "good boy" gene and not their mother's "bad girl" gene. Are there any geneticists reading this? If so, please tell me. Which gene is dominant?

To be continued...

A.D.H.D. It Ain't No Fairy Tale...

Today I am "in a mood."

There's nothing or no one to blame. I'm just feeling overwhelmed. The laundry keeps piling up, along with the piles of dog hair, the weeds in the garden and the dishes in the sink. I keep plodding along, washing, folding, vacuuming, scrubbing...and it keeps getting dirty over and over and OVER again. I try to be positive, like Cinderella happily doing her chores. And then...I get distracted, so I decide to Google..."Cinderella happily doing her chores." and I come up with this little gem:

I don't feel sorry for Cinderella anymore. Now, I know the truth about the little brat. In truth, she is a spoiled child of loving parents. She suffers from ADHD and a huge case of selfishness with a side order of self-pity.

That raggedy old dress you see her in all the time, in truth, it was brand new last week. Instead of changing into her work clothes for chore time, she'd wear it to pick berries, clean the ashes out of the fireplace, and an assortment of other mundane tasks, all of which she had been told a hundred times before not to do in her good clothes. That raggedy old dress you see her in all the time, in truth, it was brand new last week. Instead of changing into her work clothes for chore time, she'd wear it to pick berries, clean the ashes out of the fireplace, and an assortment of other mundane tasks, all of which she had been told a hundred times before not to do in her good clothes.

The reason she seems to always be doing chores while her stepsisters were playing was because she spent ten times the time doing her chores as it took the average person to do them. It also didn't help that she kept getting sidetracked playing with the pesky mice rather than staying focused on what she was doing.

(You can catch the rest of this article here...)

OMG!! I knew I loved Cinderella!! We are sooo much alike! I wish Disney would do a "very special" episode of Cinderella and Prince Charming's marriage on Disney Family. Perhaps they could delve into Cinderella's dirty little secret, and how her handsome young husband copes with her issues.

Does he accept Cinderella's condition lovingly? Or does he explode in a rage when he returns from a long day ruling the kingdom, to find that Cindy ordered a pizza for dinner and forgot to pick up his dry cleaning.

Does Cinderella go on Adderall? What is she taking that keeps that perpetual smile plastered on her face?

I can't answer for Cinderella, but I can speak for myself.

I might not have all the laundry done...EVER. I may never learn to enjoy scrubbing toilets, but I am very blessed, and so, like Cinderella, I will strive to keep a positive attitude, despite the frustration we cause those closest to us.

This is my Facebook status today:

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at
least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we
didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us
all be thankful. ~Buddha

The Buddha, Cinderella and me. We make a great team.

Oh and P.S. If you call me lazy, selfish, or spoiled, I will slap you with a lawsuit...I have a DISABILITY, you got that? No, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but it IS a huge issue. It's not nice to make fun of people who have problems. So don't do it.

*HUGS*

Love ya. xoxoxo