Oh Wayne, I've missed you so!

Like most of us, there are moments in life when I feel a little stressed. I know I'm really lucky to have two wonderful daughters and a very busy life, but sometimes the happiest of times require double time effort. Around the holidays I almost reached a breaking point. There was a TON of pressure I was being pulled in so many directions, parties, travel, traffic, and the usual chaos, times a thousand.

One of the biggest stresses for me, was trying make sure everyone was happy, which we all know, is impossible.

It seems that, as much as I tried to please everyone, inevitably someone was left feeling neglected, which always makes me feel crappy. (Is there a therapist in the blogging audience?)


In all the craziness, I made some decisions.

In addition to cutting down on my junk food and caffeine consumption, drastically,
I made an effort to listen to more music and less talk and news radio. Unfortunately the news reports while informative, can really stress me out. Have you ever heard the term, "Ignorance is bliss?"


Anyway, The other day, as I listened to the news, I decided to tune it out and crank up some tunes. as I reached for a CD, I looked down and there he was, smiling up at me from the side door pocket of my minivan, was the man. My man. Dr. Wayne Dyer.

To be continued..

Smelly Jelly Belly

I'm going to Florida tomorrow and I was at Marshall's looking for cute sneakers to wear with capris to Epcot. (Easier said than done.)

As I approached the checkout I noticed a shelf full of Jelly Belly Sugar-Free jelly beans. It was one day post detox so I decided to give myself a treat.




Then I noticed the warning label:


Start with 8 beans or less??? After a major detox?? No way Jose. I downed the entire bag.

Then I looked at the package. 35 beans have 8 GRAMS OF FIBER!

Uh-oh.



Here are the ingredients:

Malitol, Malitol Syrup, Polydextrose, Modified Food Starch, Contains 2% or Less of the Following: Sucralose, Citric Acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Color Added, Red 40, Yellow 5 & 6, Red 40 Lake, Blue 2 Lake, Yellow 5 & 6 Lake, Blue 1, Tapioca Dextrin, Beeswax, Carnauba Wax, Confectioner's Glaze, Salt.

Look up Maltitol. Actally don't bother, I'll save you some time.

Here's a little tidbit that I found...

"Due to its slow absorption, excessive consumption of Maltitol can have a laxative effect and produce intestinal gas, bloating, and diarrhea. It is very easy for food producers to use it in vast quantities, due to its similarity to sugar, so consumers often end up ingesting far more than they could most other sugar alcohols. This means that maltitol is particularly associated with gastrointestinal upset."

I don't want to lose the few readers I have left with all the gory details, but let's just say, a large tablespoon of flaxseed followed by a chaser of sugar-free Jelly Bells is an UGLY combination. We're talking Depends ugly. It's a bad scene. TRUST ME.

Okay, let's change the subject....

I'm fleeing freezing cold Jersey tomorrow to head to The Sunshine State for a spell.

I will catch y'all when I return next week.

In the meantime, step away from the Jelly Bellys.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

The post detox energy burst....

Look at me!!! Three postings in one day! Where did all this energy come from?! You would think that with a blog named Caffeine Court, that it came from consuming large quantities of Diet Coke and Lattes. That IS what you thought isn't it? Well, you're WRONG!!!

It actually came from CUTTING DOWN my caffeine intake.

A very fit friend of mine suggested I try a detox.

When she first told me about it, I was skeptical. If sounded like a temporary fix. Too gimmicky. But then I looked at my energetic, thin, youthful looking pal and I was sold.

Here is the plan she gave me:

Day 1: Miracle Juice-Combine 8 oz. of all-natural cranberry juice with 56 oz. of water in a pot. Bring to a light boil.
Place 1/2 tsp. cinnamon and 1/4 tsp. each ginger and nutmeg in a tea ball and steep in the liquid for 15 min.
Allow to cool, then stir in 3/4 cup fresh OJ, 1/4 cup lemon juice, and SteviaPlus natural sweetener to taste. (I did not add sweetener, it was pretty sour but still do-able).

The Plan: Upon waking, stir 2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed into 1 Cup Miracle Juice and drink. One hour later, drink 8 oz. water. Every hour for the next 12 hours, alternate drinking a glass of juice (no flax in it) with a glass of water. Before bed, mix another 2 Tbsp. ground flax in the final cup of juice and enjoy.

This makes one day's worth of the juice.

Day 2 and 3:

Breakfast: Eggs (can be eaten with veggies)
Mid Morning Snack: Yogurt with fresh fruit (I used Dannon Activa)
Lunch: Beets and Artichokes (can be eaten with salad and 6oz. lean protein)
Mid Afternoon Snack: Baked Apple with Cinnamon
Dinner: Broccoli and Cauliflower (can be eaten with small portion lean protein)

My husband did the detox with me with no ill effects. I think he fared better than me is because he drinks half a cup of coffee per day. I, on the other hand, had a pretty bad reaction on day one. SEVERE caffeine withdrawal. I stupidly refused to give in and pushed through to day two.

Days two and three were a breeze and I feel awesome. Very few cravings for junk, coffee isn't really appealing to me and I've lost 5 lbs. LOVE IT!!!

Apparently this is the plan Jennifer Garner uses before Awards Shows and such. Anyway, it works and you don't feel like you are starving (on days two and three!!).The foods and spices are all supposed to help flush things like your liver and help you jump start fat burning, etc. I'm no expert though.

Check out this article. It explains the whole thing in more detail.

My only other piece of advice. DO NOT treat yourself to Jelly Belly sugar free jelly beans. ESPECIALLY not an entire bag. It's ugly I tell you.

But that's tomorrow's post.

Stay tuned.

Damn I'm good,

Mani/Pedi, hair foil and cut, eyebrow wax, spray tan.

And the day isn't even half way over.

All WITHOUT a drop of caffeine.

I AM SUPERWOMAN.

More about my caffeine withdrawal and detox later. I'm on a roll people!

Better to give a little, than nothing at all.

I've been feeling kind of bad lately about letting my little blog die, so I've decided to check in once a day...just to say hello and write SOMETHING, anything!!!

If you thought this blog was shallow before, get ready to hit dry land.

Here goes....

Nothing comes easy...

Happy New Year! (Or should I say, Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day?) Whatever...

I've got to tell you, I had some lofty goals for the old blog this year. I actually thought for a moment that I would try to post EVERY SINGLE DAY in 2011. What a joke!!!

I CAN tell you this. I am so damn proud of myself for actually logging in to Blogger and posting something. ANYTHING.

I can't blame my lack of material on a shortage of ideas. I have ideas all the time. BRILLIANT ideas, hilarious ideas. They come to me at odd times, like when I'm sitting in the line for school pickup, or at the supermarket. In the past, I would write them down. Now...well they just kind of faaaade away.

It really is incredible that anyone blogs at all, when you think of everything that goes into a good post.

It's kind of like getting married and staying married, or selling a house. So much has to fall into place. You've got to meet the right person, he has to think YOU'RE the right person...you need to share the same values and goals. Hopefully you're sexually compatible. You need to get along with each other's families, and then you have to buy a ring, plan a wedding, LIVE together. Holy Hell. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

Same thing for selling a house. You've got to get your house all cleaned up. Then everyone has to look at it. Maybe someone will like it and think you have it priced right. Then they abuse you and make you fix everything, the lawyers get involved. Next comes the mortgage. They look at every transaction you've ever made since you were 17 years old. One slip and NO mortgage. Wow. No wonder the real estate market is in the tank.

The same goes for this blog. I have to come up with one of my brilliant ideas. (That's the easy part ;) ) THEN, I have to actually write it down when it comes to me, which in many cases would require me to get out of bed at 1 am and get a pen and paper.) THEN, at some future time I would have to go to my computer and NOT log on to Facebook. (Harder than it seems.)

I then have to actually log on to Blogger and write without interruption.

Holy sh*t. No wonder this blog has died.

The good news is...I actually did it today AND I've managed to stay married for almost 13 years.

Damn I'm good.

Maybe tomorrow I will do it again.

I'm on a roll people. I'm making it happen.

It's this kind of get up and go that makes America great.

More soon....God willing.

The nerve of this guy!!

I heard some giggling in my daughter's room the other day, and THIS...is what I found!

Can you believe it?! I KNEW that Elf on the Shelf was a sneaky looking dude.

I don't know who to blame...Kurt the Elf, or these sleazy Bratz dolls. Such sluts! I caught them fondling a Ken doll around Thanksgiving, and now this!

To add insult to injury, I found an empty bottle of Jim Beam spilled all over my daughter's floor. THANK GOODNESS my children were at school at the time. I don't want my innocent little girls tainted by the tawdry antics of this horny elf and his plastic concubines.

I told my little one that Kurt has been transferred to a family in Texas. He is no longer welcome in our home.

If you happen to have one of these sneaky little elves in your home, keep a very close eye on him. Hide your Barbies, and make sure you lock your bathroom door when you take a shower. Behind that cute little smirk lies an alcoholic pervert just waiting to take advantage of unsuspecting families, trying to add a little holiday magic to their children's lives.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

On a lighter note, Merry Christmas to you all.

I leave you with this quote from Dr. Seuss' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas."

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

That one gets me every time. Truly. It brings a tear to my eye. Dr. Seuss is brilliant.

I feel so blessed that I will spend my Christmas surrounded by the ones I love. I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends, and despite the fact that I haven't been blogging much, I am very grateful for all the wonderful people I have met through Caffeine Court.

Stay safe and I will be back in 2011!