Nobody likes a loose wattle...

Well, pretty much. Except, of course, that dude Richard from "Ally McBeal." Remember the guy who was into older women because he had a wattle fetish. He dated "Whipper" but they broke up because she caught him fingering Janet Reno's wattle.

Anyway, he is the ONLY person I've ever heard of who's into wattle. And he's not even real.

In case you don't know what the heck I'm talking about here is the definition of wattle:

The fat-filled skin pouch that hangs between the neck and chin. It somewhat resembles the flap on a turkey's neck.

The neck wattle is caused because the skin loses its attachments to the muscle and bone beneath. The ligaments that attach the skin to the muscles fall off. Since the skin is loose, it is very difficult to tighten it. Some exercises can help to improve the ‘neck wattle’.

Today, my good deed is to teach you a yoga exercise which will help tighten your wattle.

If you don't have a wattle, do the exercise anyway, and you'll never get one.

Okay, here goes:

Take the tip of your tongue and lift it up, REACH it back towards the way back of your throat. Do you feel your neck muscles tightening? If not, keep trying. When you feel the pull in your neck, you're doing it right.

Once you have this down, do it all day, everyday. But only do it when you're alone, like in the car or in the shower. If you do it publicly people will think you have a weird facial tic or that you're extremely tense.

Now if I were shooting to have a fab blog, I would photograph myself doing this exercise and show you before and after shots. But since I'm a blogging slacker, you'll have to settle for this picture of Billy and Richard from "Ally McBeal" doing the wattle firming exercise.

I hope this was helpful. If not, please let me know what I can do to make your life better.

(Like reminding you that tonight is the "Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Show" AND I think a new episode of "The Real Housewives of NYC." If anyone can confirm that, please help me out...I need help helping others.)

Your humble servant...