Scratching the Itch

A while back I did a post about some of the soap opera drama and hanky panky that goes down in my town. We had a rash of affairs between people and lots of divorces a couple of years back.

I call my part of town the divorce neighborhood, because the CHEATERS get to live here when their marriage breaks up. The BETRAYED usually get to stay in the big house.

I went out on St. Patrick's Day with a bunch of my friends to a local Irish Bar, and lo and behold...the place was hopping with horny middle aged married people looking to get a little "strange."

Granted, it was good for my ego, men were buying me drinks and offering me bar stools, it was kind of fun, but I kept it in perspective and stayed with my girl friends. I'm a married woman, and I'm not "going there."

I saw alot of weird flirtation going on between people who were married to OTHER people. It was freaky. One of my friends who was with me gave me an earful of juicy gossip about some of the people I was observing. I was floored!!

Ongoing affairs between people who's children are friends, jealousy, fist fights, you name it...it's like an episode of "Desperate Housewives" right here in my little town. Ewww.

When I got home, my husband and I talked about it. We both totally get it. We all want to feel the thrill and excitement of a new romance and it is flattering to have someone attractive show an interest in you, but come on people, control yourselves!!! You have kids!! What's the deal with these ongoing, serial affairs? If you hate your spouse that much, get a divorce, or a blow up doll!

This is the kind of stuff that gets people murdered. Jealousy and humiliation can make people do crazy things. And there is no way the children don't pick up on the vibe when their parents are behaving this way.

Maybe this stuff is just gossip, which is why I refuse to talk about it to anyone else in town. Sure I listened. It was fascinating, and hopefully it's not true. Unfortunately, I think it is.

I might be naive, but I totally trust my husband and he trusts me. But I can tell you this, if I have a friend who confides in me that she's having an affair, she's toast.

As the old Proverb states, "if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas."

I think my town needs an exterminator.

More dirt on "The Real Housewives of NYC!!"

After watching her little confrontation with Bethenny, I'm not surprised. She has a screw loose!!

The Real Housewives of New York City's Kelly Bensimon is in trouble! The forty-year-old former model and marathon runner is facing misdemeanor assault charges after she (allegedly) attacked her boyfriend Nick Stefanov.

Reportedly the feisty Kelly gave her boyfriend a black eye and a gash on his left cheek. Stefanov left the apartment and immediately went to the police department to file a report.

NYC Police Department told PEOPLE, "She was arrested on March 5 at 9: 10 a.m. for punching her fiance in the face, and [she] gave him a laceration under his left eye. She was arrested for assault - it's a misdemeanor."

Bensimon's lawyer, Stephen Turano, said she "has entered a plea of not guilty. We are confident that the charges are unfounded and we look forward to a quick resolution."

Some say the couple are engaged, but friends of Kelly's say, not true. "[Stefanov] is claiming that they were engaged, which is delusional. They have been on-and-off for three to three-and-a-half years, and during that time they were exclusive. She was always dating other people."

Pals say Kelly is "upset and embarrassed" by what's happened. She claims Stefanov has tried to contact her since the charges were filed.

Bensimon is due in court March 31. I wonder what her two children (with ex-husband Gilles Bensimon) think of what's happened? She's not sent a very positive message to her children has she? Although - innocent until proven guilty, right?

Real Housewives Newsflash!!! Jill Zarin Yearbook Photo

I have just received an urgent e-mail from my friend Mitch who grew up on LOOONG ISLAND, and he went to high school with none other than Jill Zarin from Real Housewives!!

He was kind enough to scan her high school yearbook picture for the Caffeine Court readers...

Here it is ladies...

Remember, you saw it here first! Keep stopping by for all the latest celebrity gossip!!!

It's not easy being mature...

I ran into a friend of mine yesterday and we got to talking, or should I say gossiping about woman we both don't like. As we got going I started to realize how destructive our conversation was. Granted, the woman we were talking about is incredibly selfish and conniving as well as two-faced. She loves to be the center of attention and I don't trust her at all. Unfortunately I see this woman quite a bit, and I have to deal with her. So, as much as I enjoy busting on her, I'm going to stop.

Gossiping reminds me of drinking too much. It's fun while you do it, but afterwards I always feel a little sick and guilty.

Here are two opposing views on gossip:

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. - Eleanor Roosevelt

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde

Some people see gossip as a lighthearted way to spread information. They don't see any harm in it and they spend all their time gabbing about other people. I live in suburbia and I can tell you that at parties 75% of the conversations I hear are people gossiping.

Others see it as a way to isolate and harm others. The result of gossip is usually an erosion of trust and morale. It hurts feelings and reputations. It doesn't just hurt those being talked about, gossipers get bad reputation as being untrustworthy. I saw this in a playgroup I was in when Meg was little. Every time someone didn't show up, everyone else would sit around and talk about them. Sometimes it was funny, but like I said, I usually felt pretty shitty about it afterwards.

I guess part of growing up involves getting a conscience.

So as much as certain people annoy me, or have stuck it to me, I'm going to make an effort NOT to talk about them behind their backs. There really isn't anything productive about it.

I guess I'll have to start reading some great novels, scour the newspapers and catch up on politics so the next time I go to a party and everyone is talking about so and so's divorce or new breast implants, I can change the subject to John McCain's political and ideological beliefs, or whether I prefer Thelonius Monk's jazz music to Charlie Parker's.

I have a feeling I won't be invited to too many more parties.

I'll try to look on the bright side, at least I won't feel guilty or hungover!!!