I ran into a friend of mine yesterday and we got to talking, or should I say gossiping about woman we both don't like. As we got going I started to realize how destructive our conversation was. Granted, the woman we were talking about is incredibly selfish and conniving as well as two-faced. She loves to be the center of attention and I don't trust her at all. Unfortunately I see this woman quite a bit, and I have to deal with her. So, as much as I enjoy busting on her, I'm going to stop.
Gossiping reminds me of drinking too much. It's fun while you do it, but afterwards I always feel a little sick and guilty.
Here are two opposing views on gossip:
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. - Eleanor Roosevelt
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde
Some people see gossip as a lighthearted way to spread information. They don't see any harm in it and they spend all their time gabbing about other people. I live in suburbia and I can tell you that at parties 75% of the conversations I hear are people gossiping.
Others see it as a way to isolate and harm others. The result of gossip is usually an erosion of trust and morale. It hurts feelings and reputations. It doesn't just hurt those being talked about, gossipers get bad reputation as being untrustworthy. I saw this in a playgroup I was in when Meg was little. Every time someone didn't show up, everyone else would sit around and talk about them. Sometimes it was funny, but like I said, I usually felt pretty shitty about it afterwards.
I guess part of growing up involves getting a conscience.
So as much as certain people annoy me, or have stuck it to me, I'm going to make an effort NOT to talk about them behind their backs. There really isn't anything productive about it.
I guess I'll have to start reading some great novels, scour the newspapers and catch up on politics so the next time I go to a party and everyone is talking about so and so's divorce or new breast implants, I can change the subject to John McCain's political and ideological beliefs, or whether I prefer Thelonius Monk's jazz music to Charlie Parker's.
I have a feeling I won't be invited to too many more parties.
I'll try to look on the bright side, at least I won't feel guilty or hungover!!!
16 comments:
Good for you for resisting the temptation. I loved those quotes.
Gossip is awful. But deliciously so. :)
very wise post....good food for thought.
The minis got out May 22! Crazy, huh?
oh and ixnay on the not ossipingay
Great quotes! Really! {{muffy, can you bah-leeve she actually blogged about that...}}
I knew you were one of those glass half full gals!
Try gossiping when you're living in a new town and not knowing ANYBODY. My neighbors gossip all the time and I am so clueless as to who they are talking about! It is so funny.
It's hard not to gossip. But it really is toxic.
I went through a stage in my life-where the group of girls I was around gossiped,so did I. I moved to a different neighborhood(new husband)time passed,new group of girls. No gossip. What a huge relief,I'm sure I'm the one their talking about now.
I love your comparison of gossip to drinking...fun while you are doing but you feel sick after. Gossiping is just not worth the pit in your stomach after. Can't say I am 100% cured but sure do it a lot less these days.
i agree, but it's sooooo tempting... so here's my method. i try to only gossip with my 2 best friends, not every friend or acquaintance i know. i also try (note i say TRY) not to say anything i wouldn't want found to be attributed to my mouth. hard to do, and i sometimes fail, and other times i just don't give a *$%#. but you're right, i usually feel guilty later. good post. :-)
WOW...you're sooo right!!!
I agree - gossip is awful.
You are so right! I chat with one girlfriend about "the goings ons" but I really TRY not to say anything negative about people in general. Probably because I don't want people talking badly about me?
One girl in our neighborhood says, "If you don't want to be talked about, then BEHAVE!"
The local paper's gossip columnist recently wrote a piece on us and got the story totally WRONG. Many people came up to me asking about it assuming what they read was true. Don't believe everything you hear OR read!!
Hmm...good point.
Alright...I'll think about it and try to be mature. Maybe.
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