As I've mentioned, summer is a slow tennis time for me. Yesterday I was feeling a little down. (It turns out I was exhausted after a late night at The Police/Elvis Costello concert.)
I was thinking about my team tennis career and my experiences on adult tennis teams. When I play team tennis I want to win. When I know I have a match coming up I schedule games against better players, sometimes I'll take a lesson with a pro, I pull out my tennis books and I PREPARE for the upcoming match. With both my daughters going to school in the fall, I have to start thinking about getting some kind of job, which means I won't be able to play nearly as much as I did when I stayed home full time.
I came up with this equation:
getting a job + both daughters in after school activities= less practice time and not winning matches.
If I can't win, I don't think I want to play matches. Not very Buddhist of me.
About two hours later my phone rings. My summer team has a big match this Wednesday against a team we're tied with for first place. Do I want to play? DO I? I sure as hell DO! I haven't started a job yet...so I'm going for it.
Catherine was sick today, so there was no pre-match training, no tennis book reading, no scrambling to get a game going. Tomorrow I go in cold. Do I want to win? Heck yeah. But I can't act like I'm going to the US Open everytime I play a match.
I have to put it in perspective. The hard part is, I play against people who take lots of lessons, play lots of games and read lots of books. They too are matchaholics.
I'll say it before you do.."GET A LIFE JILL!" You're right. I have a problem. And admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I'm working on it...one day at a time.
In the meantime...I can't wait until tomorrow morning SO I CAN KICK SOME BUTT!!!!
God help me.
Footnote: I took this post down because I felt like I was going to jinx myself in today's match. (Sick huh?) Anyway, we had a rain delay so my match started at instead of 9. I woke up this morning with a fever and a burning sore throat. (I caught whatever Catherine had the past 2 days!) I felt really lousy-so I rested and drank lots of water.
Anyway at 2 we started the match...it was HOT out! The ladies we played were 20 years older than me. (As is my partner.) One of them had an arm brace and a knee brace and walked with a slight limp...but when she hit the court-WATCH OUT! She was amazing.
We lost the first set 5-7-kicked butt in the second set and won 6-2. In the third set we were tied at 5-5 and we blew it and lost 5-7. Damn. I actually played pretty well considering how crappy I felt, but I was SERIOUSLY losing my mojo in the third set, my head hurt so bad!!
I wish I could have pushed a little harder. Oh well. Part of my 12 step matchaholic recovery is letting it go when I lose, but I'm bummed. Oh well. No more team tennis until January.
(Oh yeah and did I mention we were tied for first with this team, and MY match was the deciding match? Oh well, at least our captain is a normal sane person. If this was USTA I my captain would be PISSED!)
Time to bring Meg to cheerleading, hit the showers and MOVE ON!!!
8 comments:
the way I figure it, if you are our age (and I don't really know your age but we seem somewhat in the same ballpark) and still out there competing at some level, you better be doing your damndest to win and do your best. Because you are sacrificing something--housework, child attention, husband attention, pet attention, whatever. You're no longer just giving up "free time". So I have to say, be it in to win or at least do your best. But don't be a freak about it!
Wow! You know what? I have trained and played tennis my entire life and have NEVER given a match that much thought or have EVER read a book about it. For me it's more robotic. I just go and do it, tennis and lessons every week. Which makes me think even more that I play just because I always have, not necessarily because I want to. I just don't know any different.
Sorry that you lost, but it sounds like you played hard. I'm juggling my fall season with my kids afterschool activities, too. Can't everyone just be self-sufficient so that I can play all the tennis I want? Smiles! I'm an addicted in need of 12 steps, too.
I'm sorry to hear about your match. I really hope you get to feeling better soon, sick is no fun, especially in the summer.
It CRACKS me up how obsessed with tennis you are! Although...sometimes I wish I was that obsessed about something. Anything. =)
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that you lost the match, but you really did give it your best, especially considering the circumstances (sick and all!). Just think - it would get boring if you won ALL the time, wouldn't it? (I know, I know - it would be nice to find out first hand whether that's true or not.)
Perhaps you need to get a job that involves lots of tennis?
I'm a blogoholic.
Sorry you lost your match...I am so impressed with your dedication!
I guess I'm still new to tennis, in a way, while I want to win, I really just want to have fun, does that make sense? I'm soo excited I just found out my first match is Sept. 12th. Yeah, that is pretty far away still, but hey, it gives me something to look forward to, right?
I'm sorry you're sick, nothing sucks worse than trying to play a match and WIN, while your sick!! Sounds to me like you still did awesome with a fever, girl!
And I learned early on...if they have ANY braces on their bodies, and they are older than you....they most likely have been playing for 70 years and are going to kick your ass, LOL
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