Age Appropriate

I am completely buried in life, but I wanted to tell you a little story, that can teach us all a lesson.

Last week, I was getting my hair colored at a salon. As I sat in my chair, I noticed a stylist at the front. She was very thin, she wore torn boyfriend jeans rolled up at the ankles, Sanuk loafers, and some kind of cool skateboard chick looking shirt. She had long blond wavy hair. From behind, she almost looked like Avril Lavigne...

Suddenly she turned and looked at me. I almost recoiled in shock. Her face looked like Queen Elizabeth!! I swear the woman was sixty. Wrinkles, kind of a large witch nose, no makeup. She looked me right in the eye and WINKED. Like she knew how surprised I was when I saw her face! Seriously, it was unnerving.

I know she's a hair stylist and all, and she wants to be hip, but WHOA.

Freaky.

Anyway, the lesson is...it's okay to be hip, and stylish, but if you have a face like a grandma, try to dress in an age appropriate fashion.

Unless, of course, you enjoy watching people's eyes bug out every time you turn to face them.

You could see she was trying really hard to look good. Maybe a little TOO hard.

Oh the struggles we women face.

I say we all skip the makeup, hair color and fashion. Let's all go au naturel.

If you've got grays...let 'em show!! Blotchy skin? Zits? Embrace them!!

Why worry about trends? Just throw on a pair of mom jeans, a white tee shirt and a sensible pair of brown shoes.

Let's stop letting the media tell us what's beautiful!!!

Let's stop spending our money trying to look the way we're TOLD we should look!!

Come on ladies! Rise up!!!

You start. Let me know how it works out for you.

Meryl's Choice...

My husband and I managed to snag a babysitter for this Saturday night, and if I have my way, we will go to see a movie.

The question is...WHICH movie? Brad wants to see Avatar, which is not my kind of flick, at all.


I am leaning towards, "It's Complicated." The reviews for this film,are okay but I love the cast. Meryl Streep is the best , Alec Baldwin cracks me up, and I am a huge Steve Martin fan.

I have to admit, that the thing that most intrigues me is the buzz over Meryl Streep's face. Critics have been applauding her decision to forgo Botox or face lifts and to celebrate her lines and sagging. Meryl Streep has made the brave decision to "age gracefully."

What a daring woman!

Granted, she is an incredibly talented actress with great bone structure and flawless skin, which might make her decision a bit easier, but she does have a point. The camera shows everything, especially on the big screen, as an actor you need to move your face to show expression, when you tweak things too much, you don't look younger, you just look old and weird.

The girl has a point: Exhibit A: Priscilla Presley










Exhibit B: Jessica Lange


















and the freakiest example of all...Exhibit C:

Mickey Rourke













Ouch, and just think, these people went through painful surgery and paid big bucks to look like this.

If given the choice, I would choose saggy and wrinkly, over freaky any day of the week.

How about you?

You go girl!!!

41 year old Dara Torres is on the road to the Olympics-again! I get winded just swimming a lap!

Another milestone in my young (I mean OLD) life...

Today I received my AARP membership application in the mail. I must say I was a little taken aback. After all, I don't turn 50 until 2015!

Maybe I should fill out the form anyway, hell I could sure use some discounts on travel, hotels and car rentals! Other membership benefits include safe driving courses, (God knows I need someone to tell me not to talk on the phone, pass my kids chicken nuggets and change the radio station simultaneously while operating a minivan) as well as assigning me a spokesperson for my rights. After all, I've been noticing the lifeguards at my beach club have been practicing age discrimination and hardly ever whistle when I saunter by in my Lands' End tankini!

If that isn't enough reason to join, The AARP Magazine looks like great reading! (I hear there are some fantastic articles on colonoscopies, liver spots and E.D.) :)

Plus I'm sure I'll get all kinds of compliments on how FABULOUS I look at 50.

Do you think AARP members get discounts on Botox?

You go girl!!

Have you heard about Dara Torres? She's awesome. I love that she is going to be 41 years old this year and will probably represent the United States at the Olympics this summer.

This woman is such a role model for all women to stay in shape, no matter what our age!

This is an excerpt from an article in Life Magazine:

This diehard Olympic swimmer is proof that (1) your body can be rock-hard at 40; (2) a baby doesn't have to slow you down; and (3) when it comes to any goal, it's all about how bad you want it

Her body is insane. That's what I thought the first time I saw 33-year-old "DT," right after the Sydney Olympics in 2000. In a bright-blue one-piece, the 6-foot-tall Beverly Hillsborn gold medalist, who's ripped from shoulders to calves, looked like Wonder Woman's badass little sister. Seven years later, she looks leaner, stronger, and not a day older. I'm checking out her Manhattan apartment, waiting for her to finish a call to her nanny back home in Parkland, Florida (her daughter, Tessa, is 18 months old): Damp swimsuits dangle from doorknobs, and every surface is covered with family photographs, including several of her father, who passed away earlier this year from cancer.

Torres is often singled out for her beauty -- she was the first athlete to pose alongside models in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue -- but she's more famous for her comebacks. After winning four medals in three Olympic games, she retired from competitive swimming in 1992 because she thought, at 25, she was too old. In 1999 she resumed training, and left Sydney with three bronzes and two golds.

Having busted out of retirement again, Torres is vying for a spot on the 2008 team -- and has been outswimming athletes half her age in the process. As a mom who's battled bulimia, been divorced twice, and recovered from five knee surgeries, she might have superpowers for real.

If you want to read more about Torres, you can Google her, or check out this article from ABC News.

I'm so inspired, you might just see me at Wimbledon in 2009! (Hey, I can dream can't I?)

"One Pound at a Time"

Did anyone catch Valerie Bertinelli today on Oprah? She has lost 40 pounds and looks fabulous! It's hard to believe she's 47. She looks very natural. One benefit of having a healthy build is that it helps disguise wrinkles. Once you get too thin the wrinkles really stand out. (I'll remember that tonight when I'm chowing down on Ben & Jerry's!)

It was a really interesting show. She really dished the dirt about her marriage to Eddie Van Halen and her fling with Steven Spielberg. Pretty juicy stuff!

I loved "One Day at a Time," but I was only allowed to watch it when my Dad wasn't around because he HATED the Ann Romano character played by Bonnie Franklin. He couldn't even look at her, so we had to sneak to watch it!

I looked up "One Day at a Time" on Wikipedia and here are some of the controversial plots the show covered: (This will be a trip down memory lane for the 40 plus crowd!)

• Suicide: In a two-part episode, Barbara freaks out when a new girl at school begins hanging around her incessantly. When Barbara shuns the girl she attempts suicide by drug overdose. Though she survives, it is revealed her problems go much deeper, owing to, among other things, a neglectful mother.
• Birth Control: When Ann confronts Barbara about "the pill" (Ann is informed of the situation by Julie), Barbara says that she's not on the pill, but just wanted guys to think she was. Ann replied "If they think you are, you'd better be."
• Relationships/Pre-Marital Sex: In another two-parter, Ann is mortified when she learns that Julie is romantically involved with a man more than twice her age. When the man brings Julie home very late one night Ann berates him. But when Julie gets in Ann's face ("You lonely, Ma?? You want him??"), Ann angrily slaps Julie. (the slap loudly hit full force
• In another episode dealing with pre-marital sex, teenager Barbara wrestles with the question of losing her virginity. After much self examination, Barbara decides not to have intercourse.
• Sexual Harassment: Barbara decides to fight back against a teacher who makes a blatant pass at her. She later finds out the teacher made similar advances to a classmate. Initially the two decide to go against the teacher, but the classmate backs out at the last minute.
• In another episode, Schneider has reservations when asked to become a sperm donor

In hindsight, maybe my Dad's annoyance with Bonnie Franklin was only one of the reasons he didn't want us watching the show!

Anyway, I hope she can stick with her healthy eating. For a girl who looked like she had it all, she really went through some nasty stuff. The things she endured throughout her marriage make the plots on "One Day at a Time" look tame.

She looks very happy now. Yay for her!

I'm having a mid-life beauty crisis!

Maybe I should try "Facercise!"










In my eternal quest to look younger and foxier I went to Ulta to try the Bare Escentuals mineral makeup that everyone RAVES about. The salesgirl tried it on me and I was underwhelmed. Kind of like when you cut a picture of Jennifer Aniston out of a magazine and tell your hairdresser, "I want to look like THAT" and then secretly feel disappointed when your haircut doesn't transform you into Rachel from "Friends." (Or Posh Spice, Meg Ryan (pre-lip job), or any other celeb who has the hot hair of the week!)

Okay, back to my face...after she carefully applied the makeup I really made her feel awkward. I stared at myself like a sullen teenager with a zit and said. "Nothing's gonna work. I'm just OLD." (Pathetic, I know!) "Well," she said..."have you tried an eye cream?" "I sure have" I replied,..."Dermalogica, Elizabeth Arden, Clinique, Hylexin"...I continued to ramble on the names of every cream I've blown my kids' college fund on..."I think I'm going to try Botox." She looked panicked..."DON'T DO THAT!!!" I loved the attention I was getting.

Anyway...I got my sh--t together and we found some lovely lipstick and eyeshadow and called it a day.

Help me out here ladies. I do have dark circles and I have tried lots of stuff. What do you use? Any makeup tricks? Also, my skin under my eyes is getting "crepey." What is a 42 year old Irish/German former sun worshipper to do?!

It's 1 AM-I guess a little beauty sleep couldn't hurt!!!

There are some things you can't cover up
with lipstick and powder
Thought I heard you mention my name
can't you talk any louder?

Don't come any closer
Don't come any nearer
My vision of you can't come any clearer
Oh I just wanna hear Girls Talk

From Girls Talk by Dave Edmunds (LOVE THAT SONG!!)

This post should explain my last post...

P.M.S. "Psycho Mommy Syndrome"

Okay you lucky people who only read my blog and never actually deal with me...it's almost "that" time of the month. As I age the physical symptoms aren't so bad, it's the mental ones that are KILLING me! I did a little research and according to Google University I could be perimenopausal! No way!! Not me! I'm too young to be --- that word! I refuse to accept it.

I was explaining my dilemma to a friend. I told her I can't stand feeling psychotic three or four days a month. She told me she only feels normal three or four days a month, which actually made me feel a little bit better. (I'm such a good friend!)

When I feel myself getting highly annoyed when someone moves my crock pot or asks for milk one too many times I try to tell myself "this too shall pass." I remind myself that my insanity is temporary. It's weird, because when I'm in the throes of it I feel too overwhelmed to go to a doctor. When I'm better, I feel fine so I don't feel the burning desire to get help. I know there are lots of drugs out there and natural solutions to help ease my symptoms, I really should check them out. For my sake and for the sake of anyone who messes with me on those three or four dangerous days!

Maybe they will book me on "Oprah" as a guest! There's something I can do when Catherine goes to kindergarten! I can become a professional PMSer. Or a spokesperson for perimenopause! YES!!! I knew it would come to me.

Now I just need an agent.

Navy Nail Polish

Navy nail polish is sooo in style. I just had my hair cut and colored which afforded me the opportunity to read Elle, Vogue and Allure. All three magazines confirmed it...OPI Russian Navy is all the rage! It's a beautiful deep indigo color.

Well-I couldn't resist. I sauntered over to the manicure table and slapped some on my nails and I completely love it! (Although it is a bit goth.)

The problem is...I'm a 42 year old suburban housewife who drives a Toyota minivan. I'm just not cool enough to pull it off. This stuff definitely is made for young urban hipsters. :(

Here's my plan. Flip-flop season is almost over here in NJ, so the next time I get a pedicure-I'm going for it. That way I can enjoy my little dose of coolness in private.

Okay-nail polish update.  I was obsessing-so I ran to my favorite pharmacy,  (which will be the subject of another posting-that's how amazing this pharmacy is) and purchased the Russian Navy.  As I said-a little bold for the fingernails-unless I'm heading to some hip bar or restaurant.  (yeah right!)   On the toes-gorgeous!  My advice-go for it.  Snatch up a bottle while you can.  Apparently it's flying off the shelves.