Sin Sisters

I'm on hiatus from the sin talk until next Tuesday. In case you haven't heard, Lunanik at Secrets of a Black Heart liked my SIN SERIES so much that she decided to take the ball and run with it.

She came up with a great idea Terrible Tuesday-where bloggers write about their sins and then add their link to so everyone can compare weaknesses. So far it's been a blast reading other people's perspectives own their own vices.

The only problem...I read some of the other SINS posts and they are fabulous. So inspired! So deep! So intellectual!

If posts were meals, they would be a full course gourmet meal at Lutèce.

My posts, on the other hand, are the blogging equivalent of a bag of Cheetos. Full of empty brain calories. But that's okay. We all need a few Cheetos with our Chateaubriand!

If you want to jump the Terrible Tuesday bandwagon, and tell us all about your transgressions, cruise on over to Luna's website every Tuesday and join the link! I can't wait to hear your dirty little secrets.

When the seven weeks are up, we can move to the Ten Commandments.

Today I broke the eleventh commandment..."Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's post." Hop on over to Luna's blog and you'll see why!

More greed...

If you sign up for this PayPal type service-you get $25.00. Seriously it takes a few minutes and it's totally worth it. I might just go get a manicure/pedicure with my free money!

I did it a few days ago and just transfered my $25.00 into my account. If you sign up through my link I get $10.00 for the referral. Try it! You might make a few extra bucks!

(For yourself and for your buddy Jill at Caffeine Court!)

Gimme Gimme!

Moving on to my number three in the Caffeine Court Sin Series-GREED!

I'm a Taurus, and Taureans are famous for their love of the finer things in life. I have to admit I'd love to have a Cartier Tank Watch or a gorgeous Louis Vuitton Galliera bag or a Range Rover, or perhaps a new diamond and platinum eternity band.

My birthday is next week, so if you all chip in I'm sure you could get me a nice pair of diamond earrings. I didn't just say that...did I??? See what I mean??! Greed I tell you!!! It's a terrible sin. (Since I don't have any of these things-would it be more accurate to call it ENVY?)

Anyway-I've never gotten myself into trouble buying a $15,000 watch or a $5,000 ring. It's the small stuff that gets me into hot water. Some of my biggest temptations are Target, Marshall's, Pottery Barn, any specialty supermarket like Wegman's, the Bobbi Brown makeup counter, Webkinz (thanks to my very persistent daughter)...and the mall...FAGETABOUT IT! I live in New Jersey for god's sake! The shopping opportunities are so bountiful!

I find that the best way to keep my desire to acquire cute clothes, expensive lipstick and gourmet cookies is to avoid their sources entirely. Running into Target to pick up some dog food and paper towels is like letting a three year old loose in a candy store. Isaac Mizrahi, Mossimo and Cynthia Rowley beckon me like a siren's song. I can hear them - calling to me...luring me to crash on the sharp rocks of financial ruin seventy five dollars at a time.

So I go to these stores as infrequently as possible. (But it's sooo hard to do...I really LOVE scouring the racks of TJ Maxx searching for an amazing find!!)

I try to distract myself from my desire to acquire more material possessions with other activities, like team tennis, volunteering at school and having my children's friends over for play dates. Which leads me to tomorrow's subject-ANGER. How is ANGER related to tennis, volunteering and play dates? Stay tuned my friends.

American Idle

Moving right along here...let's talk about the sin I'm second most guilty of-SLOTH. The Webster's dictionary definition of sloth is "Disinclination to action or labor, sluggishness, laziness, idleness."

If we were to go by that definition, I am in fact, not sloth like. I love to play tennis, blog, run around town doing errands, arrange flowers, cut the grass and volunteer for various school activities. I would say my sin is SELECTIVE SLOTH.

There are certain duties that take every ounce of my energy and discipline to complete. One example is finishing laundry, I have no problem washing clothes and getting them into the dryer, folding them is a little harder, but I usually manage to get it done. It's PUTTING THE LAUNDRY AWAY that I suck at. I just can't seem to finish the job. It's a curse.

Another example of this is mailing birthday cards. I call people on their birthdays and when I see them I always have a gift that I put a great deal of thought into. For some reason I just can't get my sh--t together enough to buy a card, write a note in it, look up the address, write it, put a stamp on it, and mail it.

There are countless examples of this SELECTIVE SLOTH in my life. Much to my husband's chagrin. The biggest thorn in his side are 3 large Rubbermaid containers in our bedroom, full of clothing he wants me to sort through. As much as I'd like to just toss them, I'm afraid there might be something worth keeping in them, so there they sit, untouched and my husband is ready to flip his lid. I tell him to practice the art of meditation and inner peace. That when he sees these containers he should recite the Serenity Prayer,

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

And he can add these lines:

When I married my wife,
I knew she was not organized,
nor was she a great housekeeper.
Thank you oh Lord,
for the great strides she has made
in our ten years of marriage.
May she continue on her quest
for order and cleanliness
and someday, if it be your will,
may she clean out these Rubbermaid containers
and remove them from our marital chamber

AMEN

Luckily I do manage to do the important stuff like feeding and bathing my children, keeping them and myself, healthy, making sure they they get to school everyday and that they learn how to be productive members of society.

So I won't be too hard on myself, after all, in the words of the Queen of Sloth, Roseanne,

"There's alot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of alot more to being a mother than people suspect."

Amen to that sister.

You're so vain...(don't worry, we ALL are!)

If you read this blog regularly than you know all about my SEVEN DEADLY SINS series.

Today, I'll start with the sin-I feel most guilty of...VANITY.

Beauty and fashion are such HUGE industries and there is tons of pressure for women to look good. I've said this before, but after a certain age, you have to do some work to look halfway decent. (According to society ) This isn't anything new. Women have been "required" to look good since the beginning of time.

This is undocumented, but the first cave women would use dinosaur blood for blush and lipstick and would fashion woolly mammoth furs into berets and bikinis (see Raquel Welsh in "1 Million BC") in order to attract the cavemen who had the nicest caves and the most meat.

(Is one of the SEVEN DEADLY sins making up false facts on your blog?)

Things like moisturizer, manicures, pedicures, highlights, haircuts, makeup and cute clothing add up. Would life be better if we all had just a few pairs of jeans, only Ivory Soap in our medicine chest and felt content with our wrinkles and flabby thighs?

I truly think it would be a fabulous if women didn't feel the need to get cut open, stabbed with needles and covered in hot wax to look the way society says we SHOULD look. (No comments from the plastic surgeons in the peanut gallery-please!)

My friends who have had plastic surgery say they "did it for themselves-because they deserve it." Interesting perspective, to say that you deserve to pay someone $15,000 to be put under anesthesia, cut open and then take painkillers for two weeks. My opinion is, they did it for themselves, because society tells them their life will be better if they look better...even if it hurts physically and financially.

What do you think? Are you so vain? Have you had plastic surgery? How much money do you think you spend in a year on how you look? No judgements here my friends... I'm on YOUR side. I'm thinking of leading a revolution. If all you people stop wearing makeup, dying your hair and getting Botox, I will...but not until you do it first.

I sure don't want to be the ugliest housewife on the block.

What's your poison?

I'm sure you've heard of the seven deadly sins:

Pride, Greed, Envy, Anger, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth

Why do I bring this up? Well, the other day I was in the minivan, at a stop sign, checking out my lipstick in the rear view mirror, as the guy behind me beeped his horn impatiently, I realized my VANITY/PRIDE could cause a car accident. Which got me to thinking about THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. (My mind works in strange and mysterious ways.)

If I were to rate the sins in order of relevance to my character I would have to say pride/vanity, sloth, greed and anger. I probably spend too much time putting on self tanner, dying my hair and worrying about my wrinkles. I blog a lot (is that slothful?) and I never have all the laundry put away. I love to shop (don't let me anywhere near Target or Pottery Barn with a credit card). And finally, I hate to admit it, but on certain days of the month my kids and husband drive me nuts (especially when they WHINE)-which leads to ANGER!

I'm pretty good about the gluttony, lust and envy thing. I keep my eating under control, I don't cheat on my hubs and I'm happy with who I am.

I'm going to do a separate post on each sin, and get into more detail on why I'm guilty of all of them. (Some more than others). I thought I'd start broad and then get more specific as my SEVEN DEADLY SINS series continues.

So, now it's your turn to confess ..which of these sins are you guilty of...AND WHY?!

Oh and by the way, I know my posts are full of grammatical errors, but I'm too SLOTHFUL to do anything about it!

FOOTNOTE: Stella came up with the idea of having someone else tell you what they think your biggest sin is. Sounds like a fun drinking game to me! Next time you are at a get together ask your buddies to name each other's sins. Make sure you check your EGO/PRIDE at the door, or you may experience some ANGER...which could lead to a fight and possible fisticuffs, someone could end up getting injured or killed, which would indeed prove that these sins are, in fact, DEADLY.

I love my husband!

As you know, I 've been really into the whole "Tudors" thing. As I've watched the movies and TV show and read the books I've done some reflecting on my own life. Here's what I've come up with...



I am so happy to be a suburban New Jersey housewife and not the Queen of England...especially with a husband like King Henry VIII. What a psycho!


First of all, he did NOT look like Eric Bana or Jonathan Rhys Meyers-he was a fat, gross, slob with a big oozing sore on his leg! (Some of my more educated readers have commented that King Henry was at one time quite a hottie. I stand corrected...he might have been a hunk in his early years, but boy did he let himself go!!)

He had to be kept entertained all the time, and he blamed his wives when they couldn't have male children! (Meanwhile-he was the one shooting out all those X chromosomes!)

When he liked his wives, he would do anything for them, including renouncing Catholicism and forming a whole new church, and executing anyone who didn't agree with him.

When he got sick of his wives he didn't just spend too much time at the office or playing golf...not this dude. If his wife was annoying him-WATCH OUT! Exile, annulment-or a blow to the neck with a hatchet!

So Brad, my darling husband, if you are reading this...sometimes you get on my nerves..when you don't like the pasta I made for dinner, or when you don't have black socks in the morning. I know I'm a pain in the a-- when I rag on you, or when I don't stay within "the budget." But I thank God everyday that you are cute, you don't cheat on me and that you didn't blame me or chop my head off when I gave birth to our two precious little daughters. I'm a lucky woman.

Next week I will compare my husband to some other horrible husbands in history...stay tuned for my in depth analysis on Warren Jeffs, Attila the Hun, and Bill Clinton. It's "must read blogging" at it's best!