What's your THING?

What do I do when I'm burnt out and have nothing to say? Yeah, yeah, the puppy is wearing me down...

What I do is pull out a post from last year!!! Enjoy!!!

My sister plays soccer on a ladies' team. Her new neighbor asked, "Is soccer your THING?" My sister didn't know how to answer. She said she doesn't know if she has a THING. She almost felt bad that she didn't. She plays soccer once a week, works part-time as a nurse and dabbles in the PTA. But she doesn't have a thing per se. I think her thing is being hilarious, she cracks me up!

Unfortunately that isn't enough for her. My poor little sister has 'THING Envy."

My friend Sandy's husband's thing is his band. My other sister's thing is being a sports mom. My friend Tricia's thing is her involvement in every committee in our town. My thing is tennis.

Having a THING is wonderful, but I don't think my youngest sister should feel bad for not having one. She's probably better off. Sometimes the THING we're known for can take over our lives and overshadow some of the really important stuff. Too much of anything is never good. (With the exception of caffeine!) :)

You know where I'm going here...What's your THING?

Soft, Cuddly and Highly Contagious!

On a recent trip to our local drugstore my daughters and I discovered yet another example of what a sick mind and some marketing prowess can come up with...Giant Microbes Plush Toys! Here's the quote from their website:

We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete's Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis).

Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.

They make great learning tools for parents and educators, as well as amusing gifts for anyone with a sense of humor!

My favorite (and the one that made my skin crawl is the louse or common head lice....ewww) Anyone who has been fortunate enough to have tangled with these little suckers will appreciate how realistic these little suckers are!)

The most popular series among the college crowd is:

Here is our little friend...Chlamydia

Say hello to Herpes Simplex Virus 2!


















Let's have a round of applause for Gonorrhea (affectionately known as "The Clap")




















Who knew STDs could be so DANG cute!!

Back off!

Guess where I stayed last night? Guess where I am RIGHT NOW? Don't knock yourself out...I'll tell you.


Remember my post a few weeks ago about my friend's haunted house? Well , that is precisely where I am right now and I DO have a story.

Last night my two daughters and myself were going to bed in my friend's daughter's room. My older daughter fell asleep and, as usual, my 4 year old was awake. As I was drifting off my little one yelled, "Someone touched my back!" I looked over at her sister and she was fast asleep. I asked my little one again what she said and she repeated in an annoyed tone that SOMEONE touched her back. I didn't touch her back, her sister was asleep, so she didn't. Which leaves the question, who did? Hmmmm...makes you wonder. (P.S. My kids know nothing about these stories, if they did they wouldn't stay here!)

We're staying here again tonight, so I'll keep you posted as to whether or not we hear anything, or ANYONE who goes bump in the night.

Footnote: Apparently Sea Monkeys are not as exciting as heinie bleach!

The minute I posted about the "lightening gel for sensitive areas" the comments came flooding in! I write about Sea Monkeys-not a peep. Live and learn.

Random hyperactive thoughts...

I had the pleasure of going to our local mall today to return some clothes that my daughter didn't like. As usual, there were lots whack jobs hanging around. The closest mall to me really stinks, which is probably a good thing.

I love getting a good massage, but I can think of nothing worse than sitting face down in the middle of the mall getting one of those 15 minute massages. I would be worried someone was rifling through my purse or looking at my butt crack. And the people giving the massages look like Quasimodo.

Speaking of the mall. I don't know about you, but here in Jersey we have this line of kiosks with these really pushy people who literally HARASS you when you try to get to Old Navy. If you're with your kids they tell you how GORGEOUS your children are and how if you give them $800 you can get your child in commercials. Then the Dead Sea something or other guy charges towards me BEGGING to buff my nails. Just as I manage to fight the nail buffer off, some dude with a microwavable herbal stress relief cushion tries to accost me and put it on my neck. I dodge and weave leaving him in the dust, only to be attacked my the flat iron guy who wants to curl my hair into Shirley Temple ringlets and then sell me a $150 ceramic hair tool.

I finally make it past all these pushy obnoxious sales people and end up walking past the window of Hot Topic which is filled with t-shirts that depict people with severe head injuries. WTF!!!???

The only good thing about this experience is I'm anxious to get the hell out of the mall, thus reducing my financial output.

So, I go home to my dogs, and watch them mount each other attempting to establish an "alpha dog." I don't know which is worse. The mall guys or my pets.

Such is the life of a New Jersey housewife. It's really NOT as glamorous as it looks.

Night frets...

My days are very busy doing all the little things moms do. Most nights I fall asleep without too much trouble. Some nights however, my over caffeinated brain starts working overtime and I start obsessing over things I think we all worry about.

Here are some of the things that keep me awake:

1. Something bad happening to one of my daughters.
2. Getting cancer.
3. My husband losing his job.
4. Being dependent on my husband financially.
5. Things I should have done during the day (cleaning basement, closets, storing summer clothes etc.)
6. Whether or not I posted something which offends my blogging audience.
7. The fact that I haven't been going to church the past few months.
8. Whether or not I should get Botox on my forehead.
9. The fact that most of the things I've listed are pretty shallow and I should do more for people in need.

Some of these things are beyond my control. Some I can do something about. A couple of them I'm embarrassed to admit. What am I going to do about it?

For those things beyond my control, I have to just "let it be." I think too many people try to control EVERYTHING in their lives. It's a losing battle. Sometimes it's up to a higher power.

As for the things I CAN control...the number one priority is to take action. I crossed a few things off my list a few days ago. I called a friend whose phone call I hadn't returned in weeks. I made a doctor's appointment I've been putting off and I wrote some overdue thank you notes. Now new worries have replaced the old!

I'm not making any promises at this point...but I am going to take care of some of the things that eat at me very soon. It's just a question of whether it's Botox or church. (Maybe both!!)

I'll keep you posted on my progress!

P.S. I also worry that I'm worrying, when I really don't have anything significant to worry about. Do you know what I'm saying???? PASS THE VALIUM PLEASE.

"We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends, and living our lives."

-Maya Angelou