I'm so random.

You know that your blog is plummeting downhill when you resort to writing about foul, smooshy, bars of soap.

Unfortunately, I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of person. I run my blog, like I run my life, jumping from thing to thing.

Maybe the ladies at BlogHer will ask me to run a panel this summer. They could call it "How to Run a Blog with the Least Amount of Effort." or "Blogging Without Substance."

If you would like to attend a panel headed up by me, please contact the folks at BlogHer.

On another note, I've had some requests to review the MTV show "Jersey Shore." I have not been focused enough to actually watch the show in it's entirety, but I did catch some clips.

As a resident of the Garden State, I can tell you that while this show does not represent the majority of NJ's population, it is, in fact, very indicative of the inhabitants of Seaside Heights. I live a mere 45 minutes north of this pit of debauchery.

When we first moved to the area, I took my husband to Seaside here to show him, the sights. He wouldn't get out of the car. We felt like we were at the Drive-Through Safari at Six Flags.

I forced him to get his khaki clad butt out of the vehicle and up on the boardwalk where we marveled at the drunk, drugged up, scantily clad creatures who prowl the boards in search of a hook up.

The people on this show are actually BETTER than most of the people hanging out on the beaches of Seaside Heights in the summer.

Do I sound like a snob? If I do, then you've never visited Seaside. Trust me, it doesn't take a snob to be flipped out by the scene down there.

I'll leave you with an excerpt from the "Jersey Shore" web page.

If you’ve never pierced your privates or globbed on hair gel by the liter, then you might not be familiar with all of the Jersey Shore slang that was spewing about in the first two episodes.

For instance, with a little practice, anybody can be a slut, but in order to be considered a 'Jersey Shore [BLEEPING BLEEPING] slut,' one must consume at least four glasses of Ron Ron Juice. This typically leads to the removal of panties in a hot tub and the addition of another ‘BLEEPING’ to your slut label.

Thanks to Snooki, we were also introduced to the term ‘Princess Guidette.' Unlike regular princesses that typically kiss frogs, a ‘Princess Guidette’ apparently likes to lock lips with drunk fools.

‘The Situation’ that Mike found himself in with Ronnie was a ‘C**k Blocking’ situation, a term that was used quite a bit thanks to self-proclaimed ‘C**k Blocker’ Angelina. If you’ve never heard of a Co**k Block, then congratulations, because that means you probably don’t know what blue balls are either.

I'm sure there's lots more to be covered, so if you’d like a half-assed definition of any more Jersey Shore Slang Terms that you heard on the first two episodes, jot them down in the comments and I’ll get back to you as soon as I finish man-scaping. (Note to Pauly D: Thanks for the inspiration.)

'Nuff said.