I met Joey last weekend when my childhood friends and I had a girls' weekend in the Big Apple. We had a few margaritas, and then decided to hit Saks for a little shopping.
As I stood at the Chanel counter buying my very first Chanel lipstick. (In a gorgeous shade called Cashmere) I noticed my friend Jennifer sitting in Joey's magic chair. As I approached to watch, Joey looked me in the eye and said, "YOU'RE next." I was mesmerized, as were the rest of my friends. One by one, we put our faces at the mercy of the world's greatest cosmetics salesman.
Joey had an interesting sales approach, a combination of humiliation and love.
He took one look at one of my friends and exclaimed, "Oh my, just LOOK at those eyebrows!! Who are you? Captain Morgan? And look at your shoes!! Are you going for a pirate look?" Ouch. Humiliating, but somehow he pulled it off. He then ran over to the Chanel counter and borrowed a pair of small scissors, which he used to trim my friend's eyebrows into the most flattering arch I've ever seen. He was an artist.
Joey's secret weapons? Eye cream, black eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. The transformation on all of us was stunning.
After the makeovers, we each marched over to the register to purchase our new life changing potions. Can you say sticker shock?? Holy hell. Do you know what Sisley cosmetics cost? I was FLOORED. I'm not even going to tell you. You can look it up if you want, I can't even type it.
As we walked out, Joey asked us to pose for a photo reminiscent of "Charlie's Angels." He then proceeded to invite us to join hem and his honey at Gay Night at Hiro Ballroom. The idea of sitting around with Joey's friends while they critiqued our hair and shoes sounded tempting, but we politely declined.
The good news is, 10 days have passed since my purchase and this stuff is a amazing. Especially the eye cream, I've never used such an incredible eye cream. Words can't describe how good it is. Truly. When I work my eye cream, eyeliner, and brow pencil, it's HOT. (If I do say so myself.)
If you're ever in NY stop by Saks and meet Joey. Make sure you bring your credit card and all your self esteem. After all, Joey works on commission, and he's good, very good, at what he does.
You might even consider taking out a second mortgage on your house.
It will be worth it.
I love these ladies. We've been friends for over 30 years!