I finally did it! I got my stupid little signature at the bottom of my posts.
Big deal, right? I agree, but little did I know what a pain in the a-- it would be to get it there!
Like so many other things in life, that SEEM like they would be easy, this turned out to be pretty darn time consuming. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like when you want to get some simple white plates or a basic black cardigan, and you end up going to 30 stores to find the right thing. 3 hours later you still haven't completed the "simple" little task you set out to complete.
Thanks to Mrs. K and Clemson Girl for leading me to My Live Signature. They have a great selection of fonts. Unfortunately, the html code generated by mylivesignature.com kept putting a border around my signature. It was really getting on my nerves. After all my effort and frustration, you would think I would give up. After all, who the hell cares if I have a signature at the bottom of my posts? I know, it's STUPID, but I couldn't give up.
Luckily Maria from Immoral Matriarch stepped in and led me to Judith at The Only Thing I Know. Judith designs blogs (she did mine and I love it!) and she has tutorials on her website.
Sooo, I used her tutorial, tweaked it, tweaked it again, and again and again...and finally-I GOT THE GOD DAMNED SIGNATURE.
I know, if we were at a cocktail party and I was telling you this story, you would have excused yourself to go to the bathroom three paragraphs ago. But this is my blog and I can be boring if I want to!
Anyway, thanks so much for reading this post. I promise next time YOU do a boring post I'll read the whole thing.
I finally did it! I got my stupid little signature at the bottom of my posts.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 11:04 PM
I want to put a cute little signature at the bottom of my posts. How do I do it?
Footnote: I made some signatures and each time I put in the code I get a box around it. How do I make a signature without a border??? See example:
Posted by Caffeine Court at 12:56 AM
I was glued to the DNC the past few nights, but now I'm really hooked.
I genuinely hope the American public uses their right to vote, and that they vote for the candidate they feel is right for the job. It shouldn't be about race or gender, but let's not fool ourselves, some people choose their candidates based on some pretty lame criteria.
Any opinions on Obama's speech last night? Let's get down and dirty! But not too dirty, remember this is a family friendly blog :) (And remember, we're all in this together!)
I've had a day filled with school orientation, food shopping, playdates and housework. Meg is having a friend sleep over, so there is no end in sight.
I've been running around like a chicken all day, and now it's time to reward myself.
I have in my possession Star Magazine's "Best and Worst Beach Bodies" issue, People Magazine's September STYLE WATCH and a HUGE iced coffee.
And now, god willing, I am going to lounge on the couch and entertain myself looking at celebrity cellulite.
How awesome is my life?
Posted by Caffeine Court at 4:28 PM
Today was Meg's 4th grade orientation at her Middle School. (4th-8th grades).
As we walked into the cafeteria, lots of girls came running up to us to say hello. I could tell they were really happy to see Meg. I wish she could have shown some enthusiasm when they greeted her, but she was really serious. I could see she was feeling anxious. It was really chaotic and loud in the room, and she HATES chaos.
Teacher assignments were handed out and I got to see which girls are in her class. Of course there is a "mean girl" in the mix. The same girl who hit Meg in the head with a jacket last year. I'll be keeping my eye on her this year. Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to avoid dealing with nasty kids. There's at least one in every class. Thankfully the teacher does not tolerate nonsense and is pretty in tune with any bullying that goes on in her classroom.
There are three girls in her class that she loves and that she's very close with. Despite the fact that they wanted to hang out with her she clung by my side like glue during the entire orientation. I tried my best to get her over with the gang, but to no avail.
That's the hard part of being a mom. She is going to deal with things in her own way. I can guide her, but I can't FORCE her to handle things the way I would like her to. I hoped she would play team sports, like soccer or softball, it was a no go. I'd like her to be a little more outgoing in a crowd, but I can't MAKE IT HAPPEN. She is who she is, which is a funny, smart, creative little girl, who does things at her own pace. I always give her the opportunity to try things, and then she decides what she wants to do.
She always surprises me, like last year when she was chosen out of the entire third grade to sing the solo at the Christmas Concert. I was impressed that she even auditioned, and floored when she had the nerve to get up in front of 500 people and sing her little heart out. Or when after years of encouragement she announced that she would be joining the swim team and the cheerleading squad.
As she enters Middle School I can offer her support and words of advice, but she will have to handle things in her own way. Thus far it's served her well. She usually makes very good choices. Choices that are right for her. I know I'm in for a bumpy ride. Middle school is a tough place. I want to help make it as positive for her as humanly possible.
Tomorrow, Catherine has her kindergarten orientation. I'm not worried about her being shy. Quite the opposite. I do wonder how she's going to handle school five days a week from 8:40 until 3:05. But that's a whole 'nother post.
So here I am, with two kids starting new schools in less than a week, I'm sure I'll be reaching out to you all for input and advice. We're all heading into a whole new world. Wish us luck.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 3:15 PM
Posted by Caffeine Court at 12:22 PM
We're back from vacation and I'm mired in the "back from vacation and school starts next week" zone...so I'll just tell a short little anecdote.
As I mentioned earlier, I attended Syracuse University my Freshman and Sophomore years. Since we were in the area, I took the family to see the campus and my sorority house. (Tri-Delt.)
The next day we cruised to Ithaca to have breakfast and walk around Cornell.
Cornell's campus is absolutely beautiful. My husband kept telling my daughters "if you study hard, you could go to college here!"
I commented that the students at Cornell looked so much more studious than the ones at SU. I said to my husband "at Syracuse it was all about the parties and shopping!!"
My eight year old daughter heard that and didn't miss a beat..."It is? Than I'm going to Syracuse!!!"
What can I say, she's her mother's daughter.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 7:32 PM
I couldn't wait to write about this, so hubby was kind enough to let me use his laptop for 5 minutes.
On our way back from SU we decided to check out the NY State Fair. Now I've been to some fairs in my day, but this one takes the cake!
NOT the place to be when you're on a diet.
I kid you not, they sold DEEP FRIED TWINKIES!!! Now I love me some junk food as much as the next girl, but DEEP FRIED TWINKIES!!! Sounds like cellulite and a heart attack all rolled into one sugar laden fat soaked ball of lard. Ewww.
I did partake in a caramel and peanut covered apple, a Sangria Slushie, pizza, funnel cake and and Rainbow Dippin' Dots . Needless to say, I didn't go on any rides. I don't even want to think about how ugly a trip on the Himalayan would be after my chow fest.
I have some pictures that I HAVE to post when I get home. They had a Freak Show complete with a three eyed man, mule faced woman, elephant skinned baby, snake lady, and Siamese twins. Once again, I passed on that tempting spectacle. After all, I worked in New York City for 7 years. Why would I pay to see that stuff now, when I used to see it every day on the subway ABSOLUTELY FREE!
The only real letdown was when we were too late to catch the pig races at the main stadium. I was really looking forward to that! Come to think of it, we missed the Butter Sculpture display! Damn!!! I heard they had an amazing rendering of Michelangelo's "David" made completely out of Land O' Lakes!
All in all it was a day full of fine cuisine and culture. We're all class here at Caffeine Court.
Now I have to give Brad back the computer, thanks for listening!
Today I'm taking my girls and husband to see my Alma Mater, Syracuse University!!
I haven't been there in 20 years...I can't wait.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 9:09 AM
We're heading out of town for a few days for a mini vacation.
We didn't even know where we were going until last night, but we've decided to cruise on up to the Finger Lakes Region of NY State until Saturday.
If you miss me, you can follow me on TWITTER...(see sidebar!)
Enjoy your weekend!!
Posted by Caffeine Court at 8:29 AM
Today marks one year of "Caffeine Court!"
When I started this blog I promised you lots of FLUFF. And with the exception of a couple of deep and heartwarming posts, I think I've delivered!!
Thanks for showing an interest in my hair mishaps, messy closets, tennis dramas and life at the Jersey Shore!!
I love that I've "met" so many funny, clever, intelligent and creative people through this crazy hobby.
To celebrate this momentous occasion I'd like a virtual "slap on the butt" from each and every one of you!
Is that weird?
Posted by Caffeine Court at 7:52 PM
I'm all for camaraderie and team spirit, but do they HAVE TO pat and caress each other's asses after every point?
Wouldn't a simple "high five" be sufficient?
Study: Butt Slapping Decreases Moderately in Post-Game Showers
A 10-year study released today has found that athletes slap each other’s butts less in the post-game shower than they do during games. The study was conducted jointly by the four major professional leagues.
The results showed that while butt slapping decreases in post-game showers, as expected, it does so only moderately. “If the average professional player gets his butt slapped by a teammate once a game,” says lead researcher Byron Cope, “we found that he gets his butt slapped only slightly less – about five out of every eight times – by a teammate in the post-game shower.”
Butt slapping has long existed in sports as a way teammates and coaches show appreciation to one another on the field – a tap on the butt can mean anything from “nice tackle” or “great pass” to something more consoling like “we’ll get ‘em next time.”
Why the butt slapping continues off the field of play and in the post-game shower is less clear. “These guys just seem to really like slapping each other’s butts,” Cope said.
The rate of slapping from on the playing surface to the shower decreased the least in the NHL, the study found. “They slap each other’s behinds less while playing then they do in the other leagues – about three out of every four games a player gets a tap,” Cope said. “But they receive about the average amout of butt slapping in the shower as is the average in Major League Baseball, the NBA and the NFL.”
Another interesting finding on the NHL is that the customary post-goal celebration – where the goal scorer’s teammates celebrate in a crowd around the player in the corner – does not altogether cease in the shower. “It decreases, but it still happens,” Cope said. “Part of it comes from hockey’s long tradition of hazing rookie players, I think."
The study found that coaches don’t stop their butt slapping once the game is over, either. “Coaches are serial butt slappers,” Cope said. “Think about it – in baseball the give a tap after a home run, a sacrifice fly, a strikeout, anything. It’s the same in football and basketball. And it doesn’t end in the shower.”
Cope said a National League manager (all names were withheld from the study at the leagues’ request) waits outside his team’s shower and slaps each player’s naked butt as they walk past him on exiting the shower.
“He tells them ‘Nice job!’ or ‘Better luck next time’ when he slaps their butts,” Cope said. “None of the player’s seem to have a problem with it. Many gave him a return slap to his cheeks.”
Footnote: Clemsongirl...would you please ask Coach for his expert opinion on this subject? Inquiring minds want to know!!!
For those of you who have never heard of it, Southern Living at HOME (notice the HOME in all caps...) is a line of products inspired by the style of Southern Living magazine. Independent Consultants, like me, sell the products in people's homes through parties.
Many times, these parties involve quite a bit of alcohol consumption. The party Wednesday night was no exception.
The woman having the party has 9 year old triplets and she is the picture of organization. She contacted me to have a party, and from the moment we started planning the party she was completely take charge. (In a good way.) She was the ideal hostess. She handed out catalogs to all her friends and relatives and sold over $1,000 in products before the party even started!
When I arrived at her impeccably decorated house the day of the party you should have seen the spread she had out for her guests. Homemade cookies, red and white sangria, beer, wine, and appetizers galore. Everything looked beautiful (including her).
Her children were standing in the kitchen DROOLING over the sweets. Finally one of her daughters said, "Mom, you know I'm really dying for one of those cookies." Mom shot her one look, and the child backed off. She has those children completely trained. My kids would have attacked the plates the minute my back was turned. Even her dog was well trained. He sat there all white and fluffy, in his little Burberry collar and we never heard a peep out of him.
I wish I could spend a few days with her and learn how she does it. I think the "organization and take charge" gene is inherited. While I know I will never achieve her level of control, maybe some of it will rub off on me! My husband would love it. (Although he should be careful what he wishes for, she runs a tight ship and on a ship there can only be ONE captain!)
Anyway, the party was really fun, and she sold over $3,000 worth of products. (And the orders are still coming in-YAY!)
The only drawback? Trying to calculate sales, tax and shipping and handling with a major buzz going! Oh well, it's an occupational hazard.
Being a party girl is hard work!
Posted by Caffeine Court at 11:35 AM
As you may or may not know, I sell Southern Living at HOME products. Last night a friend of mine had QUITE a party.
Here's an equation:
1 Sangria themed Southern Living at HOME party + 25 women who haven't seen each other in awhile =
ONE HELL OF A HEADACHE THE NEXT DAY!!
Posted by Caffeine Court at 11:40 AM
I love tennis. (duh) I like playing it, watching it and reading about it. It's just one of those things, kind of like Rocky Road ice cream, or sushi. Some people love them, some don't. There's no explaining it.
Anyway, I know some of you other ladies are tennis fans also, especially Mrs. K and P.
Do you know about any other bloggers who are really into whacking that little yellow ball around and talking about it? (Get your mind out of the gutter!!!)
Oh and in case you haven't figured it out, I'm a little weird. Which is why I think of polls about having sex with George W. Bush and friends. I have a feeling I'm not the only strange person in the blogosphere. Did you guys ever play that stupid game with your friends where you HAD TO make a choice about who you'd "do it" with?
It was so much fun. We'd have some really gross choices, Walter Hudson (the world's fattest man) vs. Herve Villachez (Tattoo from "Fantasy Island. (They're both dead now, so the prospect is REALLY gross!) Sometimes we'd just get silly and you'd have to choose between Captain Stubing or Gopher from "The Love Boat." (I think I watched too much TV.)
Anyway...that's how we'd entertain ourselves. Thank goodness the internet wasn't around back then. We got ourselves into enough trouble with prank phone calling...I can't even imagine what kind of evil deeds we would have done with modern technology.
What does this have to do with tennis? Nothing...unless of course I make you choose between Raphael Nadal and Andy Roddick. Now THERE'S a tough choice!
Which one of you wants to have sex with John McCain? C'mon-admit it! We're all friends here!
The results of my weekly Caffeine Court poll are in...and they are quite telling.
Brains won by a landslide with 30% of the vote, followed by beauty (18%), wealth (16%) and finally, community service which came in at a dismal 13%.
I've analyzed the results and this is what I came up with.
Most of you want to be perceived as smart.
Very few of you want to help others.
That's it...thanks for voting.
Please vote in this weeks political poll...if you had to choose, who would you have sex with?
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde
As I was putting together the questions it got me thinking about what's most important to me, my looks, my sense of duty, my brains, or my finances.
Ideally I could have all four of these attributes and be a hot looking lady, who volunteers at a soup kitchen, has a PhD and a bank account that would make the Rockefellers jealous. I hate to tell you this, but I do know a few people who fit this description. (I hate every single one of them!)
Since I could only pick one, I chose "that woman is brilliant!" Why? Don't ask me...I'm not smart enough to articulate it. I voted for what I WANT people to say, not what they ACTUALLY say.
But seriously, I've been studying quite a bit of Buddhism, and one of the highest places you can get to is to be independent of the good opinions of others. In other words, what we think of ourselves should matter way more that what other people think of us. But that's a whole 'nother post. (As a matter of fact, that's an entire doctoral thesis!)
And since I'm just a little old housewife with a Bachelor of Arts degree, I'll leave those deep thoughts to the great philosophers.
Sooo, fess up! Which one did you vote for? Don't worry, we won't judge you. And even if we do, you don't care what we think...right?!
Nicole found out she had cancer while she was pregnant with her second child. She delivered her daughter and started chemo and radiation immediately. When she passed away her daughter was six and her son was eight.
I cry for their loss because she was such a fabulous mom and such an amazing person. Her husband Paul said during her eulogy that Nicole felt she wasn't really good at any one thing in particular. Paul told her "everyone loves you, that's what you're good at." He really nailed it.
Everyone who met Nicole loved her. She had a warmth and energy that drew people to her. When she was in the hospital it was difficult to get to her bedside because all the nurses would gather in her room to chat with her. When she was sick her mother would have to screen phone calls because she had so many friends and too much chatting on the phone sucked her energy.
I can't put into words how special she was, but she truly had a gift. Her gift was that she genuinely cared about other people and wanted the best for everyone. She wanted to make other people happy. Even in her last months, she didn't want anyone to feel bad because she was sick. She felt that even though she was dying, that she had a great life because she was surrounded by so many friends, her beautiful children and a loving husband.
When I look back on junior high school, high school, college and my twenties, Nicole was always a huge part of the fun. She was so funny and game for anything. When I look at pictures of us, or read letters and notes we wrote I laugh out loud.
Tomorrow I will call her mother and sisters, it makes us all feel a little better to hear each other's voices and laugh and cry together.
Nicole used to laugh at the phrase "God only gives us what we can handle." She said she wish he didn't have so much faith in her!
The last trip Nicole ever took was 2 months before she died. She and her husband traveled to the Vatican to meet with Pope John Paul II. Her mother gave me a picture of her touching his hand, and the look on her face gives me peace.
I miss Nicole everyday, but I feel lucky that I knew her. In her 39 short years on this earth she made this world a better place and she is greatly missed.
After Nicole's death her husband Paul started The Great Guy Group, a non-profit organization dedicated to delivering financial assistance to families battling cancer as well as contributing to The Hope Lodge of the American Cancer Society. If you would like to donate to this great cause, or to learn more, please click on the above links.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 2:03 PM
Thank goodness we're going to see The Police and Elvis Costello in concert tomorrow night! At least I have something to look forward to.
Posted by Caffeine Court at 10:55 AM
I love this saying because it really sums up my attitude on housework. Right now my house is in a state of complete disarray. Why? Because my daughters and I have been busy enjoying the summer. Playdates, birthday parties, movie night at the beach, tennis...all these activities take alot out of us...ALL of us.
In order for my house to be in pristine shape, with all the laundry folded and put away, I would have to either hire a maid, or sit my daughters in front of the TV or computer all day while I attempt to make my house look like a page out of "Better Homes and Gardens."
Housework was never my specialty and after 10 years of marriage and 9 years of motherhood, my domestic skills have improved dramatically, but I'm still no June Cleaver.
As long as my house is clean enough to be healthy, I can deal with the sand from the beach, the hair from the dogs and the crayons on the kitchen table. These are all proof that my daughters are having a summer filled with great memories...the Windex can wait.